First, a confession. I nicked this idea from Steve M's excellent, and sadly very under-contributed 'Untitled' thread here.  As one "illustrious contributor" to another, I hope you'll forgive this bit of near-plagiarism, Steve!

Let us assume that Suzee attended school in the days when CP was legal. As her headmaster or headmistress, in the course of a conversation with Suzee following a teacher's complaint about her talking and writing nonsense in class, you are suddenly smitten with a dreadful premonition of what she will become and the anguish she will cause for persons of kink innocently trying to enjoy their favorite Forum.

Please specify, with as much detail as you wish (this is after all a fictional thread) exactly what corporal punishment you would apply to Suzee in an attempt to cause her to mend her ways and become something useful like a hairdresser's assistant or a Tesco till operative.

Me, I'm going to take some liberties with historical timescales as they apply to school uniforms and assume that Suzee would be wearing the trousers so often favoured by modern schoolgirls. Six of the best with the junior cane, bent over touching her toes, and no need for the dubious practise of skirt-lifting which has caused so much controversy on this estimable forum. The senior mistress will of course be present, and the punishment will be properly recorded in the official punishment book, there to be eagerly scanned by earnest seekers after truth in 50 or 75 years time, depending on the responsible authority, and assuming one of my successors hasn't appropriated it for private consumption first!

A-L

Great idea-will post properly in a minute.

I was almost going to be kind,but.........

There are pop-ups all over this forum for Castlemedia ads, I don't block these, they are usually for amusing emoticons, though until one comes up that looks like Lotta, I shan't download any.

This week, we have Test your IQ-yesterday was some D-Grade celebrity bimbo whose IQ is 123. Never mind that's probably a fivefold exaggeration.

But tonight:-Mahamta Ghandi's is 140.

Hang on. Didn't something a little drastic, nay terminal, happen to the doyen of passive resistance in 1948? Didn't they make a film about it in 1962 called 9 Hours to Rama, in which that well-known Indian thespian Horst Bucholz plays the crazed Indian-Islamic terminator, said film being reviewed as "Feels and plays like every damned minute of those 9 hours!"?

In other words, A-L, I cannot stomach people whose lack of grammar allows them to print IS instead of WAS. Especially as it's been was for 60 bloody years, not 60 minutes!!!! So, the sadistic part of me is duly inspired.

So, read on in 5 mins, when I've had a quick fag...........

One fag later........

I think Ninny is just a little older than schoolgirls in trousers-but young enough to have been in an a-line skirt which, if loose, can be gathered in front & give her hands something to do, or she could bend low across a desk, but put her stomach on a couple of volumes of Encylopaedia Britannica to raise her bottom at the right angle and tighten the skirt.

In the classroom, the arts side can be dealt with by reference to Under Milk Wood, so that's 6 from the English teacher. Yes, that's the rhubarb stick for part one.

Part two must be from the sciences, so the Physics teacher can select the one piece of Bunsen Burner connecting tube that isn't perished enough to gas the class and deal out 6 more. The Chemistry mistress can then do the same, as the Physics teacher shouldn't really have been in here, but I'm getting tired & more evil as I go!

Finally, as we are very probably in an era where shorts have replaced gym kickers, the shorts can receive the final 6. Might as well get recreational usage in, and this can be delivered by the school's most accurate cricket deep fielder.

His job is to hurl 6 size 12 gym slippers full tilt, laces down at the slip-catching cradle. These then come off the cradle at around 60 mph and thump sole-side up into Suzee's shorted bottom to finish off the treatment.

I think that's enough!


Steve M