Here is your very own cut out 'n' keep PAULA'S GUIDE TO THOSE BATHING SUIT AREAS AND MORE!

Paula says:

My bathing suit areas is MY bathing suit areas and I done not let nobody touch them - not even me.

Paula says:

If you is a child don't let nobody done touch you in the bathing suit areas 'cept your granpappy and your Uncle Geoff.

Paula says:

If you is a fully-growed female woman don't let nobody done touch you in the bathing suit areas 'cept your granpappy and your Uncle Geoff.

Paula says:

I wrote to 'Your Questions Answered by Dave' and he done told me that in 'The Manchurian Candidate' by Charles Dickens it clearly states that there are at least four card-carrying bathing suit area touchers in Texicana, but that's not The American Way.

For a discussion about those bathing suit areas between Paula and her friend Tebo, who is obviously a consumer of merchandise put out by Dirty Des, go to

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XE1O03u81G0

Just after five minutes into the conversation Paula makes the first mention of the 'bathing suit areas' and immediately Tebo wipes his fevered brow. The climax is reached about a minute later with an excited Paula talking about positions for paddling.

This is the kind of video that could well be deleted by youtube.com., so here is a transcript of part of the conversation:

Paula: Now the other thing about it is that most parents - I have a daughter, my little pride and joy, Nia, and I don't - I've taught my daughter not to let anybody touch her anywhere in any bathing suit areas. OK. Now, we as parents, you have a daughter too, don't you?

Tebo: I do have an eleven-year-old daughter.

Paula: What's her name?

Tebo: 'Ano'i pua.

Paula: 'Ano'i pua.

Tebo: 'Ano'i pua.

Paula: Which means 'sweetheart'.

Tebo: Yes, it does.

Paula: And the thing is, is that we have little girls we love and we teach them - you don't let anybody touch you in the bathing suit area. Now, make me understand why it's ok for me to spend years teaching my daughter to not let anybody touch her in that area, but a six-foot-four, three hundred pound principal, male principal, could take a wooden paddle and beat her on her bathing suit areas.

Tebo: Bend her over the table.

Paula : (stretching her arms forward and becoming excited) Bend over, bend over. Hold the end of the table or your ankles.

Tebo: Yes.

Paula: Or the back seat of a chair, or put your hands up against the wall like you might see in an adult video.

Tebo: (Overlapping) Yes, in an adult video.

Paula: And paddle her.

Tebo: You took the words out of my mouth.

Paula: Thank you.

Tebo: Like you might see in an adult video, that whole position.

Paula and Tebo: (together as one) That whole position.

Tebo: Of, of prepare to be paddled is, is of adult content.

Paula: Exactly.

Tebo: So.

Paula: That's sexual harassment.

Thank you Big John BathingSuit-Areas for these most instructive postings. In all her videos Ms Flowe seems to go on about thses 300lb six-foot-four Principals who are wont to beat young women on their 'bathing suit' areas.

Now I am seriously worried about this. A Principal of the dimensions stated would be class 2 clinically obese, having a body mass index of 36·52 and would surely be unemployable by any school due to insurance risks. In fact at 300lb he would have to be a fraction over 6 foot 11¾ inches before he would (just) fall out of the obese category.

I know that Americans tend to be larger than us due to the wonderfully nutritious and health promoting properties of their fast food. Perhaps American Way or Bob T would be kind enough to advise if Principals of the size quoted by Ms Flowe are a significant risk factor for schoolgirls in paddling states, or are they, like so much else in her videos, a figment of her imagination?

Paula could have made it even more melodramatic by having weight lifting coach hold her down while brutish principal whacked a way. I noticed the bathing suit reference was removed from the marqiee of honorary members. A principal is usually a father like Steve Halter who bemoaned his own problems waiting on woman at home to the chronically tardy Nancy Guillen. Halter gave me the creeps but he gave the nation a clue to what it sounded like and Nancy gave a clue to what it felt like. Her parents didn't do her a favor by signing release forms. I believe the parents had no idea the attention their daughter would be given. Let's face it the paddling was not pleasant but not the kind of bruise causing beatings that rarely, albeit once is too often, occur and are splashed on the headlines. Since every student who had been paddled in Halter's office watched the show I would imagine if he hit her any differently they would have raised a stink. If mothers saw their daughters bottoms in the state the newspapers showed them they wouldn't let him near that paddle. I'm pretty sure she didn't get another dose of the paddle for it would have gotten back to the media. Booneville is a small town. I think she dreaded Saturday school and she chose what she considered the lesser of two painful consequences. She had time to talk it over with her friends who I'm sure had been there and done that.

Andy Roddick went down the American Way. Most exciting match since Melissa Johnson streaked as photographed in 1996.

She should have been publicaly caned on her bathing suit area

Further discussion about going down the American way may well lead to difficulties that I prefer we should all be spared.

I offer advice.

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20090802065821AAlTBsb

BathingSuitsHistory

Perianing to bathing suits areas.

Hi American Way. I am pleased to see that you are keeping on top of your shortenened format links, but I am a little puzzled. In computing we have a very unpleasant condition which sometimes afflicts ailing systems, the common name for which is a loop. What this means is that the poor computer goes round and round in circles, endlessly returning to the same place. Was it your intention to post a link to put viewers of this estimable Forum into a loop? That's certainly what you appear to have done in your post above!

Try this link to help keep us a Happy Circle.

http://verbplow.blogspot.com/2009/08/op-ed-from-boston-globe.html

Google: swim suits role in creating champions if that doesnt work.

I read this on my Kindle DX Reader. I assume it will find it's way on the other side of the pond.

That sure is my kinda article about my kinda bathing suits. I left a comment for Glen telling him so and recommending that he watch the videos of Paula Flowe to get a female perspective of 'bathing suit areas', but my comment done got rejected.

Yep, that works a treat, American Way. I don't follow swimming but I believe the sport's ruling bodies have now banned the new wonder costumes as from an agreed future date. My local Olympic swimming double gold medallist refused to use them anyway on the grounds that they were contrary to the spirit of the sport. Nice photograph of that snowy track on the link - I fancy a flat out thrash down that in the car!

Hi Big John BathingSuit-Areas. At least you tried to enlighten Mr Stout. Sadly some people just don't want to learn!

Hi Big John BathingSuit-Areas. I trust that you, and indeed our Honorary Life Member Ms Paula Flowe, have noted that at Thornton Heath Leisure Centre those bathing suit areas now extend from neck to ankle and wrist for women and from navel to knee for men!

A report here in today's Sunday Telegraph gives the details. It is noteworthy that as usual the council has partially denied the matter, while the jobsworth at the Leisure Centre insists that the requirement stands.

I'm afraid that those American 300lb six-foot-four School Principals who Paula Flowe campaigns so earnestly against will now have to switch to the Scottish tawse used on the hand if they wish to chastise the girls in their care whilst avoiding the bathing suit areas. Doubtless American Way's favourite Miss Valerie Thornton could be called in to give them lessons!

Hi Big John BathingSuit-Areas. You don't mean Scu­nthorpe do you? I didn't mention it last night because I couldn't be bothered to look up how to stop Network54 censoring it in Computing Corner!

Kartika's caning will not touch the bathing suit area making it somehat irrevelant to this thread unless of course in Muslim land or maybe by a poor performing caning school graduate (hopefully the valedectorian). I hope for Kartika's sake the caning prison official is not using steroids. By now the practice chair must need upholstering. I was amused by this Malaysian writer from Paula Flowe's way of thinking. Mighty Fortress Bulwark Never Failing.

I'm glad school caning was mentioned thus making it at least somewhat relevant to this estimable Forum.

Many Muslims have pointed out that the caning is symbolic; it is not even as severe as the caning of school students where capital punishment is practised.

But that is not the point. A womans body is her castle, the core of her sexual identity. To invade upon that fortress of a womans identity will leave life-long psychological scar as a result of the humiliation.

Hi American Way. You say:

Kartika's caning will not touch the bathing suit area

I have to take issue with you there I am afraid. Did you not read my post at 8:24 PM on 16 August 2009 in this thread concerning Muslim bathing suit areas, as now enforced by politically correct British local authorities in their swimming facilities?

For a Muslim woman the bathing suit area extends from the neck to the ankle and wrist. I believe that Malaysian Syariah law prohibits caning the head, so if Kartika is caned (which she won't be ) and they avoid the bathing suit areas only her hands and feet will be legitimate targets. I don't think that's how they do it - if they do it - which they won't!

I am quite worried about these schools where according to your quote above:

capital punishment is practised.

There has been discussion about this rather extreme form of school sanction in this estimable Forum before. I think I remember Doctor Dominum saying that he had some pupils who would probably happily choose this if detention was the alternative!

I am quite worried about these schools where according to your quote above:

capital punishment is practised.

There has been discussion about this rather extreme form of school sanction in this estimable Forum before. I think I remember Doctor Dominum saying that he had some pupils who would probably happily choose this if detention was the alternative! happy.gif

Luckily, my school was rather soft. I think that, given the above choice, I would have seriously considered doing the detention.

Hmmm, up and posting at 03:47! Possibly a fellow night owl or a non-UK resident!

Hi Jenny. You've done the quoted 'happy.gif' thing again above. I've just queried it in the 'oldest spanked or given school detention' thread. Maybe it's an attribute of your browser. I do hope you can enlighten me!

I think you make the right choice should it ever come to detention versus capital punishment. But those Australian lads are tough!

Another graphic. This one I think was created after the sentencing so it might be govenment approved. A talk host pundit here said it's being delayed because canings will become so frequent that it will become a procedural nightmare. That's why they have to have multiple people trained and the controversy of how exactly it should be administered.

If they take drinking off the books they are not being faithful and if they keep it on the civic and religious leaders have to work out lines of demarcation and they are still far from that. Long and short they have to be ready to cane the next one soon or it will appear unjust. This week or next week one way or the other is the bet over here. Malaysia is number 10 in alcohol consumption and Kartika was partying in a hedonist playground (luxury hotel) and that's too much temptation for me. I'm getting the idea that she is pretty well off financially. And not on account of these circumstances.

What part would be considered the private parts? He doesn't look like he is getting anywhere near Paula Flowe's areas.

Syriah whipping

Hi Another_Lurker

Hmmm, up and posting at 03:47! Possibly a fellow night owl or a non-UK resident!

You were right first time - night owl. I was going to ask you the same question but you've already answered it.


You've done the quoted 'happy.gif' thing again above. I've just queried it in the 'oldest spanked or given school detention' thread. Maybe it's an attribute of your browser. I do hope you can enlighten me!

I've replied in that thread. I don't know what cause it. It would be on this post too, if I didn't delete it.

I think you make the right choice should it ever come to detention versus capital punishment. But those Australian lads are tough!

LOL!

Hi Jenny. You say:

You were right first time - night owl. I was going to ask you the same question but you've already answered it.

Yes. I'm afraid that years on 24/7 support, plus a bit of 3 shift working and lots of working through from 22:30 Friday to 07:00 Monday ('cos that was when users would part with the systems and upgrades via punched cards took a long time) took their toll and my body clock keeps absolutely dreadful time!

It's even worse in some ways for ex-colleagues still doing the job. Nowadays the users are 24/7 as well, and the only time they'll part with systems is the small hours of Sunday morning, so support staff have to work then virtually every week. However, they can now do it from home courtesy of the net and broadband, neither of which were around in my day.

I hope your night owl tendencies are more by choice, but I'm guessing from your indications regarding your job in the 'oldest spanked or given school detention' thread that they may not be!

With regard to the textualised emoticons you say:

It would be on this post too, if I didn't delete it.

Please don't bother deleting it. The fact that I remarked on it doesn't mean that it annoyed me, only that it intrigued me, and I doubt if anyone else even noticed!

Hi Another_Lurker


You said; Yes. I'm afraid that years on 24/7 support, plus a bit of 3 shift working and lots of working through from 22:30 Friday to 07:00 Monday ('cos that was when users would part with the systems and upgrades via punched cards took a long time) took their toll and my body clock keeps absolutely dreadful time!

I started in IT as a "tape ape" in a computer bureau and I liked working shifts. It's was more peaceful overnight and easier to schedule work - no sudden "rush jobs" coming in and no managers breathing down our necks either.

You said: I hope your night owl tendencies are more by choice, but I'm guessing from your indications regarding your job in the 'oldest spanked or given school detention' thread that they may not be!

I don't know what gave you that idea. I'm a director and, apart from the occasional meeting, I usually work from home. To a very large extent, I set my own hours.

Those textualised emoticons might not annoy you but they do me. I'll delete them if I see them in time.

See gorgeous, multi-talented, fladge-mad Paula in the roles of

Choreographer (The Paddle Stomp); Songwriter (Hi-dee-Hi-DEE-Ho. The Paddles got to GO!); Linguist; Actor and Friend of the Children.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SvODCea5i7s

Nice one , Big John

Is this where we vote whether Paula gets on the X factor?

Paula , liked the touch of PC sheek to promote the no CP cause.......( No habla Ingles? Necesita este libro 1 Right on....let's rock !!!!! Teach your kids that one ready for the Principal's Office!!!!!).