The ZOOOOOO

WELCOME EVERYONE!!

Link to Jonsplace...chfpatients.com
For detailed heart failure information

Tom

by John

Just got word that my brother has his piece of florida floated back to the mainland and bolted back into place. Was even able to hook the water,sewerage,electric and gas back up.

Posted on Jan 4, 2006, 3:32 PM
from IP address 72.236.251.33


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P.S It is listing to port just a little bit because of the prop wash from the tug boat

by John

N/T

Posted on Jan 5, 2006, 3:24 PM
from IP address 72.236.251.78


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4 days into 2006......

by Jill

Everyone doing ok?!?!?!?!?!

All is fine here on the NW front....just soggy with rain and lots of mud to share if anyone one wants any!

Jill

Posted on Jan 4, 2006, 9:37 AM
from IP address 66.52.202.216


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Just think

by John

We are in the age of science fiction.The age that all scienc fiction was written about. An now we are here. Don't seem to different from past years.

Posted on Jan 4, 2006, 3:19 PM
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I'll bet our mud is about is about the same as yours except

by John

ours squishes through your toes with a southen accent.

Posted on Jan 4, 2006, 3:24 PM
from IP address 72.236.251.33


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Happy New Year one and all

by John

nt

Posted on Dec 31, 2005, 10:37 PM
from IP address 72.236.251.178


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Happy New Year Everyone

by Tom W.

Looks like we are all gonna make it to 2006. I have no plans to leave my house until Sunday. Now we can set as a goal to make it through to 2007.

Posted on Dec 29, 2005, 7:05 AM
from IP address 70.152.205.161


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Well Tom

by John

As i told Jill we had our brother sister get together this year just before christmas. The reason for the timing this year is that the piece of land on which one of my brothers built his house on, a piece of land in florida that has since broke away during the last hurricanes and finally floated up here to virginia beach.Anyhow while he was arranging to have a tug boat tow it back to florida we decided to all get together.He should arrive back in florida in a couple of weeks and hook back up to florida once again. : )

Posted on Dec 30, 2005, 11:14 AM
from IP address 72.236.251.108


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Florida Land

by Tom W.

A lot of the State got blown away this year. I keep looking for the bubble to burst again; the same as it has done several times in Florida's past history. But so far, insurance, real estate prices and taxes keep going up!

Posted on Dec 31, 2005, 6:17 AM
from IP address 72.146.79.39


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Price

by Jill

I would think Real Estate prices would drop like a lead baloon after one of the hurricanes!
Insurance on the other hand only knows one direction......up!

take care of yourself!

Posted on Dec 31, 2005, 10:04 AM
from IP address 66.52.195.152


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Merry Christmas....

by Jill

to everyone! We are going against the grain this season & NOT going nuts buying things.....

We have been enjoying the company of friends and thats what it's about!

I hope you guys enjoy the Holidays and stay safe. We are staying home & will cook a nice dinner & just enjoy the day with our zoo.

Jill



Posted on Dec 20, 2005, 12:00 PM
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Well Jill

by John

We to have survived another christmas.We met the half brother we have not seen in about 40 years and he fit into the mold as if he had never been seperated.In fact the brothers and sisters are going out to supper tonight while we are all together.All seven of us.Have a happy new year while you areat it Jill.

Posted on Dec 28, 2005, 11:29 AM
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a few days closer to 2006.....

by Jill

I hope everyone is doing ok.......

John, so glad the family is together as that what makes the holidays special.....the connection to family.

Here's a HAPPY NEW YEAR to all!
Looking forward to 2006 & all that she brings....



Posted on Dec 28, 2005, 8:02 PM
from IP address 66.52.202.167


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Untitled

by John

Well I am finally enrolled in medicares drug program. I think. The process was worse than joining the navy and going through boot camp. :+( Now tine will tell whether it is good or bad.

Posted on Dec 19, 2005, 1:40 PM
from IP address 72.236.251.98


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One problem is

by

if they keep taking this fee and that out of my SS check I may wind up with no SS check and so wind up back at square one.: (

Posted on Dec 19, 2005, 1:52 PM
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Untitled

by Tom W.

I just gonna put off that decision for a while. I'm just not in the mood for any serious research at this point in my life. As long as my Wife's job holds out I'm covered by her insurance.

Posted on Dec 20, 2005, 5:59 AM
from IP address 68.18.41.203


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coverage

by jill

I think most of those coverage programs are so confusing and filled with legal 'this & that', it becomes more of a hastle than it's worth.....then you ask....did I do the right thing.

Good luck with it!

John can be the resident expert if we have any questions....RIGHT?


Jill

Posted on Dec 20, 2005, 11:56 AM
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Sorry Jill

by John the senile old man

but i got so frusterated with the whole deal that i finally got social services to fill out the medicare end of the paper work and let my daughter deal with the insurance company end.

Posted on Dec 20, 2005, 5:52 PM
from IP address 72.236.251.42


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Senile Old Man

by Tom W.

I'm not sure I have reached the senile stage but I realize that I have certainly achieved the cantankerous stage.

Posted on Dec 21, 2005, 6:40 AM
from IP address 68.18.41.203


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I think

by Jill

Jack has ALWAYS been at that stage!

grin


Jill

Posted on Dec 21, 2005, 8:51 AM
from IP address 66.52.195.169


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; + )

by john

nt

Posted on Dec 22, 2005, 4:25 PM
from IP address 72.236.251.17


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You guys mentioning Santa Claus reminds me

by John L

Up until i was about 11 or 12 my brothers and sisters all called me bubba. Then i declaired war.Hense forth any referell to me as bubba would result in mayhem commited on their person and theirafter i was known as john except for a few slipups which was quickly rectified. In later years i became aware of the fact that bubber was a kiddy corruption of the word brother so i slowly forgave them.:+)

Posted on Dec 15, 2005, 11:39 AM
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Interesting

by TomW

Interesting story John! We called an older brother of mine Bug. I have no idea why? Perhaps I will ask him this weekend.

Posted on Dec 16, 2005, 6:39 AM
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Hmmmmm

by Jill

My Dad gave me a nickname once.........'the fly', anyone care to guess the story behind it?

Jill





Posted on Dec 16, 2005, 8:21 PM
from IP address 66.52.195.167


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notice from Santa

by Jill

> Subject: from Santa
>
>
>
>
> I regret to inform you that, effective immediately, I will no longer
> serve the States of Georgia, Florida, Virginia, North and South
> Carolina,
> Tennessee, Mississippi, Texas, and Arkansas and West Virginia on
> Christmas Eve.
>
> Due to the overwhelming current population of the earth, my contract was
> renegotiated by North American Fairies and Elves Local 209. As part of
> the new and better contract I also get longer breaks for milk and
> cookies
> so keep that in mind.
>
> However, I'm certain that your children will be in good hands with your
> local replacement, who happens to be my third cousin, Bubba Claus. His
> side of the family is from the South Pole. He shares my goal of
> delivering toys to all the good boys and girls; However, there are a few
> differences between us.
>
> Differences such as:
>
> 1. There is no danger of the Grinch stealing your presents from Bubba
> Claus. He has a gun rack on his sleigh! and a bumper sticker that reads:
> "These toys insured by Smith and Wesson."
>
> 2. Instead of milk and cookies, Bubba Claus prefers that children leave
> an RC Cola and pork rinds [or a moon pie] on the fireplace And Bubba
> doesn't smoke a pipe. He dips a little snuff though, so please have an
> empty spit can handy.
>
> 3. Bubba Claus' sleigh is pulled by floppy-eared, flyin' coon dogs
> instead of reindeer. I made the mistake of loaning him a couple of my
> reindeer one time, and Blitzen's head now overlooks Bubba's fireplace.
>
> 4. You won't hear "On Comet, on Cupid, on Donner and Blitzen." when
> Bubba
> Claus arrives. Instead, you'll hear, "On Earnhardt, on Andretti, on
> Elliott and Petty."
>
> 5. "Ho, Ho, Ho!" has been replaced by "Yee Haw!" And you also are likely
> to hear Bubba's elves respond, "I her'd dat!"
>
> 6. As required by Southern highway laws, Bubba Claus' sleigh does have a
> Yosemite Sam safety triangle on ! the back with the words "Back Off."
>
> 7. The usual Christmas mov ie classics such as "Miracle on 34th Street"
> and "It's a Wonderful Life" will not be shown in your negotiated viewing
> area. Instead, you'll see "Boss Hogg Saves Christmas" and "Smokey and
> the
> Bandit IV" featuring Burt Reynolds as Bubba Claus and dozens of state
> patrol cars crashing into each other. And Finally,
>
> 8. Bubba Claus doesn't wear a belt. If I were you, I'd make sure you,
> the
> wife, and the kids turn the other way when he bends over to put presents
> under the tree.
>
> Sincerely Yours, Santa Claus
>
> Member of North American Fairies and Elves, Union

Posted on Dec 7, 2005, 9:34 PM
from IP address 66.52.195.163


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Bubba Claus

by Tom W.

Jill,

You are a year late. Bubba Claus took over last Christmas. He forgot Louisiana. So Louisiana is now being taken care of by his cousin, twice removed on his papa's side, Boudreaux Claus. Instead of houn' dogs, he uses alleymagaters, and wants boudin and Jax beer on de mantles...


Posted on Dec 8, 2005, 7:07 AM
from IP address 68.18.15.174


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I see a ...

by Jill

GRINCH in all this.....

big grin

Posted on Dec 9, 2005, 8:56 PM
from IP address 66.52.195.72


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Where has the month gone?

by Sherrell

I didn't realize it has been over a month since I posted. I'm sorry. Since mid October I have gone on 4 or 5 trips. I decorated for the Christmas season the first part of Thanksgiving week and now have a total of 19 trees of various shapes, sizes, and desciptions as well as all the other decorations I have gathered over the years. I hosted the inlaws for Thanksgiving and 20+ came to dinner. Now it's time for more holiday gatherings. I love this time of the year! I have not forgot about you when I don't post...I am just making up for all that lost time when my heart failure did not allow me to enjoy life and make memories. Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas to ALL.

Posted on Dec 6, 2005, 7:23 PM
from IP address 12.77.78.37


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What can i say except ENJOY. :+)

by john

n/t

Posted on Dec 6, 2005, 7:33 PM
from IP address 72.236.251.25


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Good to see you

by Jill

& Happy Holidays to you.........sounds like your extra busy & thats ok!

Posted on Dec 6, 2005, 9:37 PM
from IP address 66.52.195.60


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1905

by Jill

THE YEAR 1905

This will boggle your mind, I know it did mine!

The year is 1905.

One hundred years ago.

What a difference a century makes!

Here are some of the U.S. statistics for the Year 1905:

The average life expectancy in the U.S. was 47 years.

Only 14 percent of the homes in the U.S. had a bathtub.

Only 8 percent of the homes had a telephone.

A three-minute call from Denver to New York City cost eleven dollars.

There were only 8,000 cars in the U.S., and only 144 miles of paved roads.

The maximum speed limit in most cities was 10 mph.

Alabama, Mississippi, Iowa, and Tennessee were each more heavily populated than California.

With a mere 1.4 million people, California was only the 21st most populous state in the Union.

The tallest structure in the world was the Eiffel Tower!


The average wage in the U.S. was 22 cents per hour.

The average U.S. worker made between $200 and $400 per year.

A competent accountant could expect to earn $2000 per year,

A dentist $2,500 per year,

A veterinarian between $1,500 and $4,000 per year, and

A mechanical engineer about $5,000 per year.

More than 95 percent of all births in the U.S. took place at home.

Ninety percent of all U.S . doctors had no college education.

Instead, they attended so-called medical schools, many of which were condemned in the press and by the government as "substandard."

Sugar cost four cents a pound.

Eggs were fourteen cents a dozen.

Coffee was fifteen cents a pound.

Most women only washed their hair once a month, and used borax or egg yolks for shampoo.

Canada passed a law that prohibited poor people from entering into their country for any reason.

Five leading causes of death in the U.S. were:

1. Pneumonia and influenza
2. Tuberculosis
3. Diarrhea
4. Heart disease
5. Stroke

The American flag had 45 stars.

Arizona, Oklahoma, New Mexico, Hawaii, and Alaska hadn't been admitted to the Union yet.

The population of Las Vegas, Nevada, was only 30!!!

Crossword puzzles, canned beer, and ice tea hadn't been invented yet.

There was no Mother's Day or Father's Day.

Two out of every 10 U.S. adults couldn't read or write.

Only 6 percent of all Americans had graduated from high school.

Marijuana, heroin, and morphine were all available over the counter at the local corner drugstores.

Back then pharmacist said, "Heroin clears the complexion, gives buoyancy to the mind, regulates the stomach and bowels, and is, in fact, a perfect guardian of health." (Shocking!)

Eighteen percent of households in the U.S. had at least one full-time servant or domestic help.

There were about 230 reported murders in the entire U.S.

And I forwarded this from someone else without typing it myself, and sent it to you in a matter of seconds!

Try to imagine what it may be like in another 100 years.

It staggers the mind.



Posted on Dec 6, 2005, 5:26 PM
from IP address 66.52.195.15


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Look at the bright side of 1905

by John

In that year my mother came into this world at home on a carolina farm weighing in at one and a half pounds. No hospital. And seven of us kids are here to proved that she survived.A good vintage yeari would say. : )

Posted on Dec 6, 2005, 7:26 PM
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WoW

by Jill

Yes, it was a very good year!

Posted on Dec 6, 2005, 9:38 PM
from IP address 66.52.195.60


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is it winter?

by Jill

Look what happened around here yesterday........today there is hardly a sign of what it looked like.


Posted on Dec 2, 2005, 11:22 AM
from IP address 66.52.195.17


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Don't knock it Jill

by John de ole timer

In the past i have seen over 2 feet of snow fall even here in Virginia Beach and this is suppost to be the sunny south and we are shielded by the gulf stream right at our doorsteap.

Posted on Dec 2, 2005, 2:20 PM
from IP address 72.236.251.51


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I like it

by Jill

even love it especially if I don't have to drive in it!



Posted on Dec 2, 2005, 8:49 PM
from IP address 66.52.195.5


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I never minded driving in the snow

by John

untill they started iceing up. Then it became a different ballgame.

Posted on Dec 3, 2005, 1:03 PM
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Is it winter?

by Tom W.

It is definitely winter here! The temperature dropped down into the 40 's the past two nights and I've had to did out my long pants.

Posted on Dec 3, 2005, 7:04 AM
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I don't know Tom

by john

right out of bootcamp in the winter of 1952/53 I had a delux vacation package in Jacksonville Florida courtesey of the USN and spent it mess cooking for 9 weeks before starting the first of a couple of training schools. Any how the days we roasted and the nignts we froze.

Posted on Dec 3, 2005, 12:32 PM
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I don't know Tom ?

by Tom W.

The Fall of 1953 I started 1st grade so I really cannot say that I have a clear memory of it. <G> However, Florida is known for have 20-30 degree temperature changes. So you can "freeze to death" with 50-60 degree temperatures at night. That makes it easy to catch a cold or virus.

Posted on Dec 6, 2005, 8:47 AM
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Sigh.> all alone

by John

Out in the middle of the atlantic where the last hurricane deposited me. > : ) O woe is me.: (




Posted on Nov 20, 2005, 11:17 AM
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All Alone

by Tom W

John,

I still try to check in here each day. I guess that Jamie, Sherill and the Lady from South Africa have abandoned us poor, old men. (:->)

Posted on Nov 21, 2005, 10:13 AM
from IP address 68.157.17.169


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never alone.........for long

by Jill

Hello you guys!......

a drift in the ocean with a computer, can't be all that bad! (lol)

There seems to be always something going on around here and now it's that time of year to bake a few goodies. We are having a friend over for Thanksgiving .....just a small bird this year with lots of other tasty things to go with it.

Happy Thanksgiving to all of you! (have any plans?)

Posted on Nov 22, 2005, 9:22 AM
from IP address 66.42.40.241


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All Alone

by Tom W

You are correct Jill. It is possible to visit almost anyplace via the Internet. I'm fixing a little turkey as well. 22 lbs. 8-> Hope you and Jack have a pleasant Thanksgiving.

John, hope you and your Family also have a great Holiday !

[><]

Tom

Posted on Nov 23, 2005, 6:04 AM
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Well Tom

by John

Getting to old to get out in the woods and bagging a turkey so its the old supermarket kind again this year. Anyhow everything is getting ready to make his way into the oven possible.So have a happy thankgiving everybody.

Posted on Nov 23, 2005, 6:35 PM
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It has been reported to me

by John

that this year my nephew and his hunting buddys has bagged 4 deer on the 2 acres i sold him a couple of years ago. However some of my old friends up their are reporting that now a doe is running through the woods moaning and calling " bambi where are you, where are you bambi". : ) > : (

Posted on Nov 24, 2005, 12:11 PM
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Jill, hope your thankgiving went over well

by John

Around here everything went fine except i don't know which of us was more stuffed , me or the turkey and grandaughter the black olive fiend et them all up as well as grandson the green olive fiend did likewise with said green olives. In other words everybody had a great time except the turkey.

Posted on Nov 25, 2005, 9:01 AM
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The day after......

by Jill

YES, I think we all were more stuffed than the turkey by the time the feast was over!

We went by the book & it turned out the bird took longer to cook than planned so we just waited & snacked while he cooked!

We had TOO much food but it was all good!
3 people......14lb turkey + all the fixens plus 4 pies & one bundt cake.....YES we are nuts!

The best part is packing up leftovers!

Posted on Nov 25, 2005, 9:55 PM
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Like i have, every body here was stuffed and well satified

by John

EXCEPT the turhey. Poor fellow is just a skeleton of his former self.I don't think hes going to make it. : (

Posted on Nov 27, 2005, 1:23 PM
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Three Days After

by Tom W

Good Afternoon Folks,

I started cooking last Monday. So by Thursday I only had to roast the turkey breast, bake the dressing, make gravy & brownies and heat up every thing else. I was through early and were were eating at 12:00 PM. Lot'sa stuff in the freezer.

I'm still full. Finished the brownies a little while ago. <G>

Posted on Nov 27, 2005, 4:27 PM
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Has anybody heard from Jamie

by John

Need an update as to how the saga of the kids,job,house and jamie and hubby are doing.

Posted on Nov 12, 2005, 11:31 AM
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Twick or tweet

by John

Grandad has door duty tonight to guard against tricksters and to hand out bribes to keep it from happing. : (

Posted on Oct 31, 2005, 5:02 PM
from IP address 72.236.251.125


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Knock...knock....

by Jill

I wanted to hear that tonite.....I bought some candy & even had Mr. Jack-O-Lantern outside for the littel devils to show up.......not a one. Anyone need some candy?



Posted on Oct 31, 2005, 11:21 PM
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Twick or Tweet

by TomW

Guess that our home looks too poverty stricken. Never had a one of the little pests in 25 years. I even cut my grass for the last time this year.

Posted on Nov 2, 2005, 5:58 AM
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Tom, could it havebeen that sign in your front yard.

by John

The one with the scull and cross bones stating "strangers and kids keep out" > : ). By the way when i first moved into my house by the beach i got sandblasted every time i mowed the sawgrass. I even had native catus growing their.

Posted on Nov 2, 2005, 8:47 AM
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Sign

by TomW

Or it could have been that one that said:
This Land Is Protected
by
Smith & Wesson

Posted on Nov 3, 2005, 7:07 AM
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more signs.....

by Jill





In a Podiatrist's office:
"Time wounds all heels."
**************************

On a Septic Tank Truck in Oregon:
Yesterday's Meals on Wheels
**************************

On another Septic Tank Truck:
"We're #1 in the #2 business."
**************************

At a Proctologist's door:
"To expedite your visit please back in."
**************************

On a Plumber's truck:
"We repair what your husband fixed."
**************************

On another Plumber's truck:
"Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.."
**************************

On a Church's Billboard:
"7 days without God makes one weak."
**************************

At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee:
"Invite us to your next blowout."
**************************

On a Plastic Surgeon's Office door:
"Hello. Can we pick your nose?"
**************************

At a Towing company:
"We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."
**************************

On an Electrician's truck:
"Let us remove your shorts."
**************************

In a Nonsmoking Area:
"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."
**************************

On a Maternity Room door:
"Push. Push. Push."
**************************

At an Optometrist's Office:
"If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."
**************************

On a Taxidermist's window:
"We really know our stuff."
**************************

On a Fence:
"Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!"
**************************

At a Car Dealership:
"The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."
**************************

Outside a Muffler Shop:
"No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."
**************************

In a Veterinarian's waiting room:
"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"
**************************

At the Electric Company:
"We would be delighted if you send in your payment.
However, if you don't, you will be."
**************************

In a Restaurant window:
"Don't stand there and be hungry, Come on in and get fed up."
**************************

In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
"Drive carefully. We'll wait."
**************************

At a Propane Filling Station,
"Thank heaven for little grills."
**************************

And don't forget the sign at a Chicago Radiator Shop:
"Best place in town! to take a leak"
**************************


Posted on Nov 3, 2005, 8:40 PM
from IP address 66.42.40.233


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Update

by TomW

We were in the Keys until last Wednesday. I heeded the Mandatory Evacuation which was issued. We came through the Hurricane yesterday in good shape. We had some leakage under the front door which wound up in the utility room. Our electricity flickered a few times but we were fortunate. 80,000 in our county are part of the 6 million in the State who are without power.

We have ankle deep water in some parts of our yard. However, there are those that have waist high water in their homes as well as those that no longer have homes. Please keep our State in your prayers.

If you are able to give, I would recommend some organization other than the Red Cross. IE the Salvation Army or some organization which has LESS administrative expenses and whose leadership is less financially compensated.

Posted on Oct 25, 2005, 6:02 AM
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I have one brother living in Florida

by Anonymous

Since i haven't heard any difference from my sisters i assume he came out of it ok.Glad you didn't go out to sea on the outgoing tide and our prayers certainly go out for all those caught up in this series of hurricanes.One of the things i like about living at the moutn of the chesapeake bay is the fishing, the scenic views and the fact that we have the outer banks of north carolina that usuall catches our hurricanes and takes most of the steam out of them before we get them.Unfortunately their are many people that haven't taken past experience on this and have built their.

Posted on Oct 30, 2005, 10:29 AM
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Our annual airshow went...

by Sherrell

great and now I am an official airshow glider assistant. I held the guide wires for the glider to fly under a ribbon with. We lived at the airport all week and then I left for 3 days of "chaparoning" our senior adults from church. I came home exhausted. Those folks put my energy level to shame.
Hope all of you are well.



Posted on Oct 24, 2005, 3:28 PM
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Sounds great Sherrell

by John

Hows Tracy doing since she has got her pilots licence. Did she get in on the action at the airshow(barmstorming , ETC.) > : )

Posted on Oct 26, 2005, 2:05 PM
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Tracy is enjoying the skies...

by Sherrell

on a regular basis. At the show, she rode in every kind of aircraft she could talk anyone into letting her climb aboard. She is building her time. She hopes when she finishes college in the spring with her marketing degree to attend an aviation college and get all of her pilot ratings and possibly get a job in that field.

Posted on Nov 12, 2005, 7:49 PM
from IP address 12.77.78.103


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Tom, if you are still determined tp go to the floreda keys this weekend

by John

I have a rubber raft you can borrow. : )>

Posted on Oct 21, 2005, 8:19 PM
from IP address 69.18.71.61


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Sorry bad spelling or worse bad edeting

by john

nt

Posted on Oct 21, 2005, 8:21 PM
from IP address 69.18.71.61


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a funny or two

by Jill

Hillbilly Medical Terms

________________________________

Benign................What you be after you be eight.
Bacteria...............Back door to cafeteria.
Barium.................What you do with dead folks.
Cesarean Section.......A neighborhood in Rome.
Catscan................Searching for the cat.

Cauterize..........Made eye contact with her.
Colic...............A sheep dog.
Coma...............A punctuation mark.
D&C................Where Washington is.
Dilate.............To live longer than your kids do.


Enema.............Not a friend.
Fester............Quicker than someone else.
Fibula............A small lie.
G.I.Series.........World Series of military baseball.
Hangnail...........What you hang your coat on.

Impotent...........Distinguished, well known.

Labor Pain..........Getting hurt at work.
Morbid..............A higher offer than I bid.
Nitrates............Cheaper than day rates.
Medical Staff.......A Doctor's cane, sometimes shown with a snake.
Node....................I knew it.
Outpatient..............A person who has fainted.
Pap Smear................A fatherhood test.
Pelvis...................Second cousin to Elvis.
Post Operative...........A letter carrier.
Recovery Room....Place to do upholstery.
Secretion.......Hiding something
Tablet..........A small table to change babies on.
Seizure..........Roman emperor who lived in the Ceasarean Section.
Terminal Illness....Getting sick at the train station.
Tumor...............More than one.
Urine...............Opposite of mine.
Varicose............Near by
Hospital............The biggest building in town, other than Joe's
feed
warehouse or Franks lumber mill.


Posted on Oct 17, 2005, 10:43 AM
from IP address 66.52.195.165


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a funny or two

by TomW

Jill, I was not aware that folks in the Great North West talked the same or understood those of us in the South. (:-})

Posted on Oct 18, 2005, 7:37 AM
from IP address 66.239.212.26


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hA!

by jILL

We moved to the 'south end' better known as the 'country places' & we learn fast!


Jill

Posted on Oct 18, 2005, 10:35 AM
from IP address 66.52.195.35


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Tom

by John

Some of the most potent corn squeezeings i ever got hold of(streight out of a mason jar no less) was when i visted some my brothers, inlaws, living outside of Sacremento Ca.Better than carolinas finest sad to say.And the local dive has some of the best sh.. kicking hillbilly music to boot.I often wondered why jed had a 39 ford coup with an indy offenhouser engine under the hood

Posted on Oct 18, 2005, 2:30 PM
from IP address 69.18.71.6


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Tenjewberrymuds

by Jill

To get the full effect, this should be read aloud. You will understand what
'tenjewberrymuds' means by the end of the conversation. This has been
nominated for the best email of 2005.

The following is a telephone exchange between a hotel guest and
room-service, at a hotel in Asia, which was recorded and published in the
Far East Economic Review:


Room Service (RS): "Morrin. Roon sirbees."


Guest (G): "Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service."


RS: "Rye..Roon sirbees..morrin! Jewish to oddor sunteen??"

G: "Uh..yes..I'd like some bacon and eggs."


RS: "Ow July den?"

G: "What??"

RS: "Ow July den?...pryed, boyud, poochd?"

G : "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled please."

RS: "Ow July dee baykem? Crease?"

G: "Crisp will be fine."

RS : "Hokay. An Sahn toes?"

G: "What?"

RS:"An toes. July Sahn toes?"

G: "I don't think so."

RS: "No? Judo wan sahn toes??"

G: "I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo wan sahn toes'
means."

RS: "Toes! toes!...Why jew don juan toes? Ow bow Anglish moppin we bodder?"

G: "English muffin!! I've got it! You were saying 'Toast.' Fine. Yes, an
English muffin will be fine."

RS: "We bodder?"

G: "No...just put the bodder on the side."

RS: "Wad?"

G: "I mean butter...just put it on the side."

RS: "Copy?"

G: "Excuse me?"

RS: "Copy...tea...meel?"

G: "Yes. Coffee, please, and that's all."

RS: "One Minnie. Scramah egg, crease baykem, Anglish moppin we bodder on
sigh and copy....rye??"

G: "Whatever you say."

RS: "Tenjewberrymuds."

G : "You're very welcome."


Posted on Oct 11, 2005, 8:02 PM
from IP address 66.52.195.168


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hehehe > veddy veddy goude,veddy goude Jeel

by John



Posted on Oct 11, 2005, 10:45 PM
from IP address 69.18.71.55


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A yuck Yuck

by Anonymous

2. Letter from Grandma

Dear Grandson,

The other day I went up to a local Christian bookstore and saw a "honk
if you love Jesus" bumper sticker. I was feeling particularly sassy
that day because I had just come from a thrilling choir performance,
followed by a thunderous prayer meeting, so I bought the sticker and
put it on my bumper.

Boy, I'm glad I did. What an uplifting experience that followed. I was
stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought
about the Lord and how good He is ...and I didn't notice that the
light had changed. It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus because
if he hadn't honked, I'd never have noticed.

I found that lots of people love Jesus. Why, while I was sitting
there, the guy behind started honking like crazy, and then he leaned
out of his window and screamed, "For the love of God. Go. Go. Jesus
Christ, Go." What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus. Everyone
started honking. I just leaned out of my window and started waving and
smiling at all these loving people. I even honked my horn a few times
to share in the love.

There must have been a man from Florida back there because I heard him
yelling something about a "sunny beach." I saw another guy waving in a
funny way with only his middle finger stuck up in the air. Then I
asked my teenage grandson in the back seat what that meant, he said
that it was probably a Hawaiian good luck sign or something. Well,
I've never met anyone from Hawaii, so I leaned out the window and gave
him the good luck sign back. My grandson burst out laughing... why,
even he was enjoying this religious experience.

A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that
they got out of their cars and started walking towards me. I bet they
wanted to pray or ask what church I attended, but this is when I
noticed the light had changed. So, I waved to all my sisters and
brothers grinning, and drove on through the intersection. I noticed I
was the only car that got through the intersection before the light
changed again and I felt kind of sad that I had to leave them after
all the love we had shared, so I slowed the car down, leaned out of
the window and gave them all the Hawaiian good luck sign one last time
as I drove away.

Praise the Lord for such wonderful folks.


Posted on Oct 11, 2005, 7:54 PM
from IP address 69.18.71.55


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