Does anyone ever have that feeling of not liking someone the first time they meet them? even though they might not have uttered a single word to you? In August, we got new neighbours, she's 27, he was 20! i am one of them people who will give people the "benifit of the doubt" ie; if they have done something wrong previosly, then give them a second chance, this couple moved in on the saturday, and i was talking to them, but he looked really "shifty" but he made conversation, so i thought he might be a bit nervous, ie;new neighbourhood etc, anyway, to cut a long story short, on the saturday night, my hubby came home from work, and said he had seen this guy from next door a few times in the town where we live, and he just didn't like the look of him, so i told he was being unfair, the week after they had moved in, we had to call the police, as they were nearly killing each other! he was running out in the street accusing her of trying to stab him, which she didn't, he gave a false name to the police, from what i have been told, then a couple of days later, i saw him outside "cleaning" his car, but all i could see him doing was emptying it, under the seats etc, know what i mean?? and to cut a longer story even shorter, he was "lifted" by the police in possesion of £7.0000 worth of drugs!!!!! that is what he was taking out of his car the day i had seen him, then his other half, who is still here, told me he uses a false name, and he has been banned from driving for 6 yrs and has got 30 points on his licence!! he has just got an 18mth sentence for drug possesion, like my hubby said, first impressions last, so maybe he was right eh? he didn't "trust" him from the start!! anyone else had these feelings, i know i have had them often, but to be honest, there was something about him that i couldn't quite put my finger on! now i know!!!!

I have felt like that sometimes, but it takes a while to filter thru for me to do something about it, ie, I am nice to everyone and after a while it occurs to me that some people just disrespect you and take kindness for weakness immediately, becuase they are not nice people to begin with. I have learnt over this past year to be very cagey with my personal info and access to my home, even for a cup of sugar, even with a next door neighbor, cos it really takes a long time to really know someone....wouldnt it be nice if we could go back to the days when you didnt have tolock up everything, knowing that your neighbors were decent people, and would watch out for "strangers" in the area, not so anymore, we have watch out for everyone, sometimes even the people in our families, unfortunately. Trust your instincts and feelings, they are your early man primitive yet sophisticated beyond scientific understanding EARLYWARNING system. Neighbors like this you dont need. My mother rented her flat to two 'born-again' christians once, it was a nightmare.......

I know what you mean about "born again christians" no dis-respect to anyone on this site, but i worked in a nursing home for 6yrs, changed jobs, then went back for about 1 month, that really showed me what they can be like, I had to take 2 days off, at short notice, mainly 'cos of hubby's "binge" drinking at the time, so the next day, she rang me and asked me what the problem was, so i explained to her, (knowing that i had known her for 6yrs, thought i could confide in her) and all she said was that she would have to discuss my problem with the senior nursing staff, and phone me when a decision was made, and she phoned me, and promptly sacked me, for taking time off at the last minute, even though i had explained to her that i couldn't leave my eldest with hubby, (he was about 2 at the time) and i thought that her being a mother herself and a christian she would understand, but no, she didn't want to know! She was a good boss in every other way, and really took care of the patients in her care, (wouldn't you if you were charging £380.00 per week?) but i came to the conclusion that she didn't have any christianity in her! awful to say i know, but that is how i felt! luckily, i'm in a posistion where i don't have to work, although when we have got the house redecorated next year, i will get a job, preferably not in a nursing home!!!

to hear that hubby is past the binge thing. Christmas is a tough tiem for people with Alcohol probls, and their nearest. Keep on trusting your instincts and dreams Jane, they are there to guide you. Neesoj in Chicago.

i nearly alwaws have strong first impressions but always give the benifit too as people oftern do change but i still remain guarded for a while as the baddens always give themselves away sooner or later and remarkably i am finding out that it still works with me via the net too. As so much you kinda know who's gonna make what sorta comment about what and take an answer in what way.

it is amazing that you CAN get a feeling off an email, even without the usual inflection in someone's voice to characterise it....strange stuff.

Your husband is right ( First is lasting). But I have to say I have only a few people in this world i trust and strangely when i met these few i couldn't stand them. I can't trust any of my family. I believe what was said about feeling people out through their typing as well. There's good people in this network. I feel there's one who's a strong heart and can be trusted through her use of words. (can also be a pain) Small price for trust.

I am a pain, I think my mother told me that. ha ha ha.