When I was younger, about 13 or so, I had a recurring nightmare. The Strange thing about it, is I can't remember most of it (couldn't at the time), and I CANNOT forget it. What actually happened in these dreams, is very vague. However, for some reason it is very easy to tell the dream, without the details mattering. The dream/vision always varied. One time, i got the impression of being represented by a white circle, with nothing around me, just a little wall in front of me; now, i HAD to get over this wall. MY LIFE DEPENDED ON IT. Suddenly, the wall shot up, filling me with terror and GREAT NEED. What would I do now? I felt worse than is possible to describe. I HAD TO GET OVER THE WALL!! Then, suddenly, the impression of a black void of a circle came up to me, making the feelings much worse. It was not like your everyday event kind of dream, it was much more symbolic. Without warning, the void became two, then four, then surrounded me on all sides. i ran up the wall to try to get over before it was too late, but it was already miles and miles high. the blackness engulfed me, the only thing left of my consciousness like a tiny speck of white in a sea of darkness, but more than that, was how it made me feel. An UNEARTHLY fear and hopeless anxious kind of feeling was all that I had left in my speck of white, which turned black. I HAD to get over that wall, away from the things, and my odds went from 1 in 50 to 1 in 10000000000000
and rising (along with my fear and pain). The worst part is, i didn't die. Dying would have been heaven. But I knew only one thing in my mind: IT WAS TOO LATE. I WAS SCREWED. AND IT WAS NEVER GOING TO END, NOW. When I had this dream\ vision, I was sitting upright, crosslegged, in a dark parking lot in the middle of the night.
A few months, maybe a year or two, i don't know, but a while later I was sleeping in my cozy bed and dreaming:
All I could vaguely remember when I woke up was walking down a dirt road, perhaps. At the end of the road, in the middle of nowhere, with a few sparse trees around, there was a wide, wide flat area pretty far ahead. I could hear people screaming and laughing, obviously partying. I was on my way there, almost there, when it was like an instant of bright streaks all across the sky, and at the same, slow, billionth of a second a rocket-- a HUGE bomb, but in my dream the word for it should be rocket, i don't know why (really it was like an a-bomb)--smashed through the air, heading straight down for the ground, and exploded, with a brilliant flash of light and then darkness-- flashing dimly, terrible screams, wails, moans, --pure agony-- sounding in my ears. If you have ever heard of the guys that supposedly recorded hell sounds from deep in the earth (who knows?) Anyway, it sounded very similar to that. The feeling would not leave me-- the same one the first dream gave me. I knew they were connected, because i NEVER had nightmares, and i've only had a few dreams where i felt like that. Around the same time period, I had a few more-- each one leaving me writheing inside, each one leaving me knowing they were connected. In another, all I can remember is hearing someone tell me something really weird, then suddenly i knew. I ran outside, around the building i was in, and looked up at the sky. To my dismay, the signs I knew would be there were there, confirming my worst fears. There were no stars in the sky, except in one place. There, they formed three signs... a cross, a devil's face, and a ... i can't remember... a pentagram, i think. i knew the same scenario was coming as the last dream i wrote, as if it was the same one, only starting early. I woke up soon. In another i was on a dark mountainside of dirt road or both, and i was walking, when suddenly, out of the blue, a great big mountain lion landed on my shoulders, me turning around just in time to see it, and it mauled me with it's claws and teeth. a moment later, I heard a loud, evil, ominous voice\sound say, "RICKER RICKER RICKER RICKER RICKER!!!!!" In a decending tone, and as i watched the mountain lion attack me, i knew that the sound meant that i was dead. then i woke up. These were the most prominent of my old dreams, the ones i have never forgotten, because i somehow know their meaning is still unfolding. The funny part about these dreams, was the way they made me feel. Even funnier, one day i suddenly and uncontrollably started to feel the exact same way, WHILE I WAS AWAKE, for no apparent reason. To this day, when certain unexplainable numbers and hopeless odds and shown to me, I get a chill of death through my body. Which ones, i don't know. It only happens very rarely. But when it does, i know that whatever caused it should be disposed of.
Recently, however, my dreams seem to fade away, and i haven't been giving them much thought. One dream not very long ago creeped me out, though. Like i said, i never get nightmares. but this time i did. I remember dreaming about waking up on a couch, walking out of the room, and messing with a tv, talking to some people, etc. Then, i dreamed i woke up again, from the same couch, realized "oh, it was a dream, " and did basically the same thing i did in the dream's dream. then, i dreamed i woke up again and did the same. i can't remember how many time it happened, but one time i was pretty lucid and fairly sure that i was awake(increasingly each time).I walked to the tv, and tryed to turn it off manually. nothing happened. So, i reached around the corner and flipped off the power strip it was plugged into. Nothing happend. the tv was still on. Then, i tried once more to push the power button off, but before my finger got to the button, it was filled with a staticy, electric feeling. i hesitated, then pushed the button. Instantly it began to shock me intensely, and i reached around the side and unplugged the power strip, which turned it off and let me move my other hand from the button. My hearing was extremely faded from the shock, and i was getting weak. I scrambled onto the bed, and tryed to wake up my girlfriend, but see wouldn't wake up, and i couldn't speak or hear anymore. i picked up the top half of her body like a rag doll, shaking her, trying to wake her up to help me, before i died. Suddenly, i woke up again, in the same place, only lying down on the bed instead of sitting over my girlfriend. This time i was really awake, and my girlfriend woke up, for some reason. it was all very strange, especially because 1) the feeling of doom was very similar, and 2) me and my girlfriend slept in the living room where the couch and tv in my dream were, and in my dream we were lying on the bed with our feet where our head normally was, which we had JUST deciced to switch around and sleep the other way that night. anyway, one other thing... some of the old dreams seem to have the repetititive part of the story, where i keep waking up; when i'd get up, i was searching quickly through a house, going through doors, looking for something i deseparately needed (what$$)to get away with, eah step beinging me closer, waves.
Justin
Slim J., the first part you describe - this came immediately - You feel you are losing, are in danger of losing your soul. It feels like falling,but sort of in reverse, you just cannot escape your fears quickly enough. It reminded me of a dream (in a physical sense) when everything around began to disintegrate, the best way of describing it would be to ay that the world was being consumed down to the smallest particles - and I was next and could not escape. This was in the days before nano-technology (so what made me say that?).
you with this dream, fo rsome reason. however it reminds me when i was a kid, i saw a scifi about a scientist...something to do with end of earth, and it made me think, that when you go up in sky, and look down, eventually we look like tiny ants, and it was extremely depressing to think that as a kid..and sometimes as an adult, depending on circumstance, if depressed, I think about hte ant thing, and think how meaningless it all is.
however this is dangerous, depressed thinking, ignoring all the good things...
sometimes the things we see as a kid, on earth, in movies, by adults, shape thoughts that have emotions attached, maybe you saw a movie that had too many grown up themes when yo were a kid, and this has triggered these deeply associated fears....not to dismiss the heavy symbolism of your dream.
I saw 'the land that time forgot' when i was a kid, and hairy cave man jumped out, and scared my five year old self, and so took along tiem as an adult before i dated any hairy guys!!
