I believe this dream is based on my long distance relationship with my bf, He is from the U.S i'm from England. We are both insecure people with trust issues and mad anxiety problems.....but he has bipolar disorder so he is 10 fold somewhat to what i am at times...and its becoming very frustrating, he's hard work but i love him...at least i think i do, only i feel kind of closed off at the momment, kind of numb, so dont really know what i feel.....i just dont know what to do, and the distance doesnt help. We met playing an online game, felt it was fate....like there is this reason we have been drawn to one another yet i'm so confused with what is real and what is just thought!... let me tell u my dream...

I was in this place with my family, my dads side i think it was, this woman there was doing this show, was like a magic show, she had picked me to be the guinea pig so to speak, firstly she told me to sit and place this,.. i think it was a match between my lips, then covered me over with a cloth so just my face was showing....i could see the concentration in her face, which said this could go horribly wrong....and i shut my eyes tight!...but nothing happened and the next thing i know she's handing me a knife and telling me to make a cut in myself or something.....but i cant do it, i don't understand...i'm scared....so my step brother takes the knife and stabs it quickly into his hand, it goes in pretty deep and the woman quickly takes the knife of him saying no no not like that,....i cant believe he did that, and he walks away with a strong face, then once he sits down right in front of me i can see the pain in his face and he begins to cry. Then she pulls me aside again and gives me this needle and tells me to swallow it...i'm like 'no...i'm not doing that...are u mad' and she's telling me to trust her.....but the people around me are telling me not to do it....its crazy! then i woke up...

Any thoughts on this would be of great help, as i'm curious as to what it may mean, as i'm unsure, just like in my relationship i'm unsure whether to try see this through, or end it now. As i forgot to mention i suffer with deppresion, and i fear he'll make me ill therefore isnt good for me,....yet i also feel theres more to us!?...i'm so confused.....sigh, just looking for guidance.

I am sorry but I am going to throw out a cliche that is going to disturb the little that you cling to right now...

YOU CAN DO BETTER

the dream has a lot going on, family has made you who you are currently and you need to keep climbing until you are better out of that....psychologically they didnt set you up as a success, you will have to do it yourself...and you can see in the dream your brother from teh same route also thinks he msut go thru pain 'cos that is what he was told/learnt from an older woman in family"

and that is not how it has to be.

sorry I know that is heavy. you can disregard if you wish.