Just Venting

by R Usher

 

I don't talk about my baggage but after 25 years of being with a man who I now know has PTSD I am pissed off.
All these years together through good, bad, really bad and "could this get any worse." We are now told there is a name.... PTSD, for all the bull**** I went through, the beatings for just speaking, telling me he never wanted me to "I am sorry but I do." Now after 25 years they (the DRs) tell us there was a reason for all that crap.
Since he has had to go to crisis intervention classes and write letters to the board about his experiences I now understand some of the past stresses he was under. (Still doesn't make it right to make me a punching bag)
I am sitting here drinking a glass of wine trying to figure out our relationship. Before the PTSD came out I was ready to leave again, this time for good.
My old man is a really cool and giving person. But depression can bring out a monster.
He will start the 6 week PTSD course soon so I am hoping they will help him conquer the demons inside. The ones that make a marine break down to a suicidal level.
In the mean time I guess I will be drinking alot of freaking wine!!!!!
This is a just a fraction of what is going thru my head at this time.
It would be impossible for any of us (VA VETS WIVES) to put down all of our bull**** on paper.
Thank You All For Listening to Mine!
Signed Roni, A 'SECOND BATTALION 4TH MARINES SECOND TO NONE THE MAGNIFICENT BASTARDS' wife.



Posted on Aug 22, 2005, 8:36 PM

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