Hope one of you guys can help here...I run an international lookalikes company providing celebrity appearances at budget prices. Currently demand is exceptionally high for a Robson Green (Soldier Soldier and Robson & Jerome fame) lookalike for worldwide bookings. I was directed to your site by an anonymous source who suggested that a certain player might fit the bill. Also I understand you would be willing to release his services for a season or two due to his wayward shooting (nothing a bit of chalk wouldn't cure)
Please let me know.....

Now then, what I can do for you is a lookalike for that dodgy policeman off Heartbeat. I've heard that he looks a bit like the ugly half of the aforementioned mystery songsters.