Welll..... where do i start. So much has happened since Ive been able to post on here. I guess I can get straight to the point. Brooks married. feck it. I know I always said nothing was ever gonna happen, and i meant that, it wasn't, but at least I could dream! sighs bit harder now...
Thing is, ive gotten sooooooooo damn selfish... all this crap about "oh just be glad hes happy", honestly, feck that for an idea. I dont give a crap how selfish this is, I dont want him to be happy with someone else. I want him to be happy with ME. Is that really so much to ask? Apprently.
Its made me a bitch too... wantin to split em... Dont get me wrong, i dont think i could do it, but damn id love to.
Wasnt a great day when i found out (obv), feck its depressing, having it confirmed that the person you love more than anything, will never love you. Honestly felt like my guts had been ripped out, as dramatic as it sounds... thats the best way i can describe it.
Also when thru a phase of just feeling empty. I really didnt know HOW to feel at all... As i said, i always knew nothing was ever gonna happen, so in a sense it wasnt THAT shattering, its not I thought "hey, this could be gonna work" and then found out.... but hmmm. still. Its not nice at all to have something like that confirmed...
Anywah.... I think ill leave it for now.... add some more later...