I love it. I love its little ups and downs.

OK, no I don't. I love its ups. I despise its downs when i'm enduring them, but then again if we had no downs we'd have no ups and then there'd be no joy in life.

I'm sure in a week or so i'll be all "life's a bitch and then you die" again.... but at the moment, savour my happiness - life rocks.

It's querkiness is, well, just that. Querky.

See, here's a little example taken from the past few weeks of my life:

Friday 22nd Nov - very happy, very muchly looking forward to Sunday.
Saturday 23rd Nov - extremely unhappy, not to mention very very ill. all faith in anything gone coz Sunday was no longer gonna be Meet-Johnny-Herbert-Day.
Sunday 24th Nov - amazingly happy coz of Johnny and Robbie.
interval
Tuesday 3rd Dec - very very very unhappy coz of death and whatnot.
Sunday 8th Dec - FEELING VERY VERY VERY SPECIAL!!!!!

OK, so not only does Blair know I exist, know I'm coming and looking forward to meeting me - HE'S WRITTEN IT IN HIS DIARY!!! Wow!!!!!!!!!!! He's PLANNED for my arrival!!!!!

Apparently I have to go to the Box Office and tell them I'm there and (according to Mum who was told by Ellie) "they'll have some information for you or something" - and he said something about us meeting up after the show.

And he WROTE IT IN HIS DIARY so that he wouldn't forget!!!! hehehehehehehe.

YAYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I really do feel soooooooo special!! And he doesn't even know I'm a BC chickie or a 5th Ave fan yet!!

Yay!!!!!!

PLUS - it's 11 days to go.............

Falalalalallaaaaaaa!

I'll shuddup now.... but surely happy insanity is better than angry, sad, bitter insanity?? lol.

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Crazy for Jakey

YAY - that is SOOOO good Lou! I'm so happy for you!
You'll LOVE it! He's such a sweetie and I reckon will be even more so since you're on the other side of the world & all..and after the HUGE effort you've made to actually get to the Panto! OH YAY!
You know we will be expecting MANY MANY MANY photo's now! Now that you will be getting extra special arrangements and attention.
LOl @ your name being in his diary - lol - yay! How cute!

YAY!!!! I sooooooo can't wait!!!! Me and Laurence were all excited at schoolies today! hehehhe.

And yay coz now I know what to write on my banner too - coz I know we don't need it to get his attention, but t'will still be nice, plus then i can tell him that his big brother told me to write that... HA HA!! "big brother" ooohh... i didn't intend that pun... but ahhhhh i amuse myself... LOL.

falalalalalaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Trisi babes - when u next has contact with Ryan, tell him a BIIIIIIGGGGGGGGGGG thankies from his UK fan hehe.



ok, i'm posting here n at mavis at the same time, plus having 2 msn convos... so i've totally forgotten what topic i'm in! LOL. oh well.

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Crazy for Jakey

QUOTE from LOU: "I'm sure in a week or so i'll be all "life's a bitch and then you die" again...."

ahhhhh... and here we go. That time is upon us. Seriously, life IS a bitch......

ok, so thursday is the day i've been waiting for for a hell of a long time when i get to see my boy joe again - first time in 6 months!!! And i'm still totally crazy about him, but i just want this day to be over coz a) I'm scared about how it's gonna turn out, and b) the past year has been really really draining and i finally feel ready to move on..... i think...

he's sent me 2 emails in his life - the 2nd of which i got a year ago today. omg, i can still remember my excitement when i opened my inbox, the first time in a week that i'd not semi-expected to see an email from him, and then BANG there was his name sitting at the top of my inbox. Hehe, and the subject title was "boo" was is really freaky, coz I'd considered entitling my previous email to him as "boo" coz it was my greeting of the moment, but I'd decided I wouldn't coz he might have thought it was a bit weird. LOL - i tell you, this guy is PERFECT!!!!!!!.

anyway, the email rocks. and then 3 days later he saw me in school for the first time and grinned his heart out at me and waved and did an 'oooh!! it's YOU!!' expression and LOL t'was a good job i was leaning against a door frame at the time else i probs would have fallen over.

anyhoos - time passes... and i find myself a whole year on... and yes it's been great fun... and i NEED to see him on Thursday... but i'm scared. I know deep down that he'll be happy to see me on at least SOME level.... but still.. I am Miss Paranoid when it comes to him (the number of times I convinced myself he hated me coz he didn't notice me when i was at the other end of the corridor or whatever)....



anyone got a gun?

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Crazy for Jakey

You'll be fine Lou! Itll all be fine!
Go get him girl!!

OK well yay coz I talked to one of my friends about it today, and she said that if she's free she'll go with me. Awwwwwwwwww. And when I told her bout it, it wasn't in a hint-hint-i-need-someone-to-go-with thing, it was just a i'm-dying-here thing. lol. But awww yeah she said that if she can, she'll go with me. Which is really sweet coz she has no other reason for going.

And if she can't go (she might have to go to some thing) then we're gonna have a good think tomorrow about who else might be able to go with me instead. Coz I'd just feel really really out of place if I went on my own (coz at least with a friend I'd have back-up....)

Oh well, 2 days time and we'll know what's gonna happen. I hope. (coz then it'll only be an hour away... LOL).

I'll get back to you tomorrow on this....

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Crazy for Jakey

well, one of my friends just came online. and my friend who said she'd go if she could (sarah) has been talking to her (ruth) and ruth said that she'd go too, coz she liked one of the guys in joe's year (though she's got a b/f now but still).

she asked what day it was, and i told her, and apparently she can't go coz it might be the last day that she can go shopping.

ARRRGGHHHHHHHHHHH.

but now there's 2 extra ppl to help me think of ways to get there..... i need more time!!!!! I've got 47 hours.

this IS gonna work... somehow... it has to...

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Crazy for Jakey

first things first, how cute is this: "this IS gonna work... somehow... it has to..." awwwwwww. And it DID.

Anyway, this is nothing to do with all that.

This is back to the beginning subject: The Highs and Lows of Life.

coz this morning i was all YAY (as u can see) coz I got my 5th tape and bec post too - and it was all FANTASTIC. I spent so long sitting reading it all and just laughing lots (in the best way).

And then some nurses from the vets came over, and had a look at our cat (mum to two of our other cats, and sister to the other) coz she had cancer. And then they put her down In my room. So I went downstairs and just walked up to my big brother and we were just stood there hugging for ages Then when we stopped he did a little half smile and was like 'so it's good news then?' awww <-- weak smile

And then awwww a few mins ago my cat walked by me (Tan was his mum) and I picked him up and hugged him and cried so much coz he probs doesn't realise whats happened yet

Anyways, lifes mean.

and i NEED my other bit of post (not Ron post, even MORE exciting than that!!) and i don't think we get post on sunday... so then i have to wait till after I come home from school on monday! ARRGGHHH.

God dammit.

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*an' would you call me your friend?*