Hi ALL,
Its obvious that we all left Kenya our beloved country to look for a better life abroad. When we arrived abroad we were hosted by friend/relative before we got on our feet. All of us have a tale to tell about this time that we were hosted. Personally i had to wait outside in the cold until my host finished his shift to come and open the door to get in the house. But i had to thank them for hosting me when i finally got a place of my own.
After being away from home from loved ones, loneliness creeps in. Then men and women start looking for someone to love. This is not real love as it is a way of running away from being alone. Some relationships work but others dont. In some cases some men use the relationship as a way of making the woman invest her mobey in his projects. When relationships break the jilted women are left despressed and at the verge of commiting suicide.
My advise to all is;

1. Do not commit money in a relationship unless the project is under both man and woman's name. If one party cannot travel to verify this, use the services of solicitors and have witnesses. Please do not fall fool even if the man/woman is as good as gold. As safe and avoid being sorry. Money rip offs in relationships are causes of some recent suicides in diaspora.

2.After meeting a woman/man here in diaspora, insist on getting to know their background. In many cases meet in public places until you are sure of their character. Talk to his friends and you will know more about him. Before making any commitment even to move in together, talk to their family back home and let them know your intentions.

3. If you live in a council house paid for by the council, be careful as some people might want to move in to avoid paying rent elsewhere. They will use you and when they are done they will be gone.

4. Be careful in cases where children are involved as these failling relationships can damage your children psychologically.

5. Take a HIV test before you start getting sexually connected. Be safe than sorry.

6. If things are not working, end the relationship before you fallout badly and avoid making enemies.

Lets all be cautious of these things at all times look out for each other. If you know someone who has no friend, invite them for tea/dinner/ church etc.

well said,

There is this issue of having one party going to school while the other works, I think the best thing to do is have them get a student loan in their name so that incase of anything happening after the graduation the other party is not left with a huge debt. I have witnessed this happening to two of my friends who had really good marriages . Their partners left after they started earning more and the other party was left to shoulder the burden of paying their debts.