I am 27 and feel so down, everyday is a struggle. I am a student struggling very hard to pay my rent bills and generally survive. In a place where getting jobs is not that easy. what really gets me down is the fact that i dont seem to find love. I meet so many men from the internet some who seem to like me... others not. I am not being proud but just to make you understand, i am not ugly... maybe a little better looking than average, at least my friends say so. So i just cant understand why it doesnt seem to work out with anyone. I havent been in a relationship for 4 years this will be the 5th.

Sometimes i wonder why God lets me suffer like this. I am alone, broke, lonely, with no frineds, jobless... and as much i thank God for being alive and living in such a beautiful country, i just find myself so miserable most of the time. I feel so desperate and try to call afew people i know to talk (who are married) but they always seem to never have time for me. They ignore my sms, my calls... maybe they notice that i am needy. But i just cant understand this. In kenya i had soo many friends.

Do you people believe that our lives are already planned even before we come into this world? Do you believe that when we even get married, our partners were already picked out for us? But i that is the case, i wonder why God lets me go through this very tough times that i feel break me into pieces. I have become such a pathetic person that i wouldnt ven want to know. I am irritable, complaining all the time, critical and many other negative qualities which only worsen as time in this difficult situation goes by. I feel that my studies are suffering because i cant concentrate fully. The financial, social and psychological stress are taking a major toll on my studies, and my being as a person. Sometimes i even think about what would happen if i did myself in. I have spent so much of my life sruggling that i just cant accept to fail.
I dont see an out of the situation for me. Sometimes i face a month with about 20 euros in my account, even though my rent is more than 10 times that, and my monthly insurance 4 times the amount. Please pray for me my countrymen if you may, God bless you!

Im sorry i have written soo much, but i just wanted to put my thoughts on paper, and hear your thoughts also on what goes throughmy mind. Ofcourse all comments even negative ones are welcome - but i always say, think about how you act with others, how would you feel if they acted the same with you?

Galfriend,

I felt I had to respond. I have been in your shoes before. I'm also a kenyan in the diaspora, mid 20s..I KNOW the struggles. I couldn't find love and the ones I did were with men just out there to waste me. My studies suffered coz I felt like everyone I knew, their lives were going well except mine.. you know careers, marriage, kids. Well, I kept on praying and praying and I believe in the throes of my anguish God heard my prayers. I'm married now, have a great job etc. All wonderful blessings from the Lord. Looking back, the only thing I would change is my outlook on life at those trying moments. I should have been more joyful, studied better, enjoyed (in a good way) life..The right person WILL come at the right time. I thank God I still focused on school, which enabled me to have a wonderful career now. My hubby really appreciates that I can contribute to household expenses and provide (future) kids with a good life. So my advice to you is to study very very hard,live a pure life (no premarital sex etc), improve yourself and be happy in the Lord. Good things come to those who wait. God has not given up on you. Be blessed!

It's always darkest before dawn. You are a child of God, believe it my sister..God loves you and will never let you down. He's the most trusted friend you can ever have. Even if you find a man, he's only a man with many faults but only God is perfect. I'll be praying for you!

Nikomajuu, please be assured kua majuu siyo mwisho! Life abroad is generally like you describe, lakini God will provide for you what you long for. Good luck

r u a man or a woman pliz blv in GOD and leave ua no.if u r a woman i'm a mother but we can share

We wamajuu pipo mould their lives and become who they want to. @Wamajuu u got to toil for whatever ur looking for, iwe mzee,manyumba or watever.you dont expect to be going to pubs and expect a serious man.U cant dress like a slut and expect a seriois man ur mannerism leads u to places. kwa hivyo cenjia mithiire yaku na utakuwa sawa.

My fellow country woman. you must not feel down and you are not a bad person. you are in a foreign country and so you don't have a choice of friends as you did back home. the friends you have are not really friends because there are just people leading their lives with whom you are bound by the fact that you come from the same country. you seem to come from europe otherwise if you had been in england i would have asked to be popping by my place anytime even if i have a family. do not worry you will meet a good person at some point. we all went through it, it is that much harder because you are not in your natural habitat.

good luck and pass your exams and everything will sort itself.

Join the club! Withambe itina wega niukuona mundurume!

WAKE UP woman, have confindent with your self!after all every one else does! stop whinning! life is too short to complain! husbands/kids/jobs and friends will not give you the sastifaction you are craving for! all that doesnt give happiness, infact they will add to your problem. search God, But seek yee the kingdom of God and his rightouesness and this other things shall be added and to you. you sound pathetic that people wound keep away from you.
yeye

Does anything in nature despair except man? An animal with a foot caught in a trap does not seem to despair. It is too busy trying to survive. It is a ll closed in, to a kind of still, intense waiting. Is this a key? Keep busy with survival. Imitate the trees. Learn to lose in order to recover, and remember that nothing stays the same for long, not even pain.Sit out.Rebellion against your handicaps gets you nowhere. Self-pity gets you nowhere. One must have the adventurous daring to accept oneself as a bundle of possibilities and undertake the most interesting game in the world, making the most of one's best."