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Bigfoot Has Long, Lively Local History
Mon, Oct 13, 2003
Column By Guy Barnes
The Morning News/NWAonline.net
Happy days are here again! Bigfoot is back. Or maybe it's just
wishful thinking on my part. That's fun, too.
In any case, there have been recent reports of sightings of a large
ape-like creature in and around the western Benton County town of
Decatur.
If it's large and ape-like, but not quite an ape, it's gotta be
Bigfoot. Of course, the published reports didn't say just how big or
how ape-like the critter was, so we can't be all that sure just yet.
But at least I'm hoping.
Having Bigfoot in the neighborhood livens things up. Not only do we
have something to talk about other than them dad-burn lying
politicians, we tend to be more alert. If we go out in the dark and
the hair on our neck starts standing up we go back into the house.
Of course, we don't call 911 right away, but we consider it. A
prickly feeling on one's neck ain't firm evidence, but at least it
makes us more careful. And being careful and alert is what the
Homeland Security folks have been on to us about; they want us to do
it. We might even spot a terrorist that way.
I'll admit that the ape-like creature isn't likely to be somebody
like Osama bin Laden or Saddam Hussein. But you never know. Out of
the ordinary people are always turning up in Northwest Arkansas. Some
come here to hide out in what they think is a wilderness area; a few
make the journey to civilize the hillbillies they expect to find, but
most are those who have hitched their wagons to such rising economic
stars as Wal-Mart, Tyson's and J.B. Hunt.
Then there are the visitors who like what they see and decide to
stay. And that ain't only people I'm talking about.
Canada geese, for instance. Not a native bird, I suspect, or else
they wouldn't be called Canada geese. But we see them everywhere
these days. Rather than them being imported to restore the balance of
nature as were black bears ad certain deer, I have a feeling that a
few of the geese made a pit stop here during migration, found the
area to their liking -- and sent for their kinfolks.
So if geese from foreign parts liked Northwest Arkansas well enough
to settle here, it's possible that Bigfoot did too.
Barring the sightings of the ape-like beast around Decatur turning
out to be an ugly bear walking around on its hind legs, or a
Halloween prankster trying out a new costume for the big night, we
probably have a Bigfoot sighting on our hands. But it isn't the first
one.
Some of those earlier sightings have been explained as something
quite natural; a shadow in the woods, an exceptionally hirsute hippie
or simply a case of overly active imagination. But I can recall a few
where the critter in question left behind evidence of its visit.
Back in the early 1970s a mobile home park on the north side of
Springdale was visited one night by a hulking, hairy and bad-tempered
Bigfoot-like being. In addition to scaring the socks off a handful of
humans in the park and upsetting every do within earshot, it uprooted
a vegetable garden and hammered large dents in the side of at least
one mobile home.
In a separate incident east of Springdale, two men who unexpectedly
came face to face with a Bigfoot in a secluded clearing reportedly
were so unnerved by the experience that they required medical
treatment.
Years later, a large and powerful beast attacked livestock on a farm
in Oklahoma just across the border from Washington County. According
to the Associated Press, the critter "partially slaughtered" at least
one animal. While the AP report didn't specify which parts of the
animal were slaughtered (and which parts lived to tell about it)
there were suggestions that a Bigfoot was the culprit. Whatever it
was -- Bigfoot, bear, mountain lion or wolf -- apparently dined on
the dead part of its victim.
More recently and a little closer to home, bouncers from at least one
watering hole in Fayetteville gathered in a heavily wooded area in
south Washington County for a bit of after hours relaxation which
turned into a Bigfoot encounter.
The lads most likely were doing what men frequently do when they meet
in the woods late at night. And that is either sitting around a
campfire drinking beer and telling lies, or telling lies and drinking
beer while sitting around a campfire. But I wasn't there so I can
only guess.
In any case, according to news reports, festivities were proceeding
as planned when they had an uninvited visitor. A female Bigfoot
crashed the party.
While her motives are unknown, we suspect she had any or all of three
compelling reasons; thirst, curiosity and/or a desire for
companionship. But it was a foolish move. As all young ladies should
know, it is not prudent to go anywhere near men drinking beer in the
woods at any time. Such meetings rarely turn out well.
And this one didn't. Perhaps the bouncers tried to remove her from
the scene in the traditional honky-tonk manner and she resisted. Or
maybe it was a matter of her attempting to deliver hugs and kisses
when none were wanted. But as it happened, the scuffle that developed
ended with the lady Bigfoot being shot and wounded and one of the
bouncers being tossed across the clearing.
While their parting wasn't entirely without rancor, it apparently
wasn't as bad as it could have been. Although the Bigfoot left in a
huff, she didn't seem to be seriously hurt. Neither was the man. But
as somebody said, it was a good thing he was a bouncer or he might
have ended up with a broken bone or two -- or worse.
But back to Benton County's Bigfoot. Is it and the one that had the
run-in with the bouncers the same critter? Or were different animals
involved in all the sightings and too-close encounters?
With luck, it might turn out that we have an entire community of shy
Bigfoots (or is it Bigfeet?) in our midst. It would be a ready-made
tourist attraction, maybe even necessitate the construction of more
hotels.
If they're savvy enough to stay out of our zoos, they should be smart
enough to emerge and claim their rightful place in society, the
business world and politics. Then, again, maybe they are too smart
for that.
Perhaps the best I can hope for is that they continue to keep us
entertained with their well-timed sightings. And that's too bad. I
was hoping to see a Bigfoot running for president one of these days.
