Something very incomplete and very first non-revised draft. This is mainly to see if I groked the humanx, and it will undergo substantial revision to add some scenes, remove others and so on. So you don't need to bother with gramar just yet but it would be appreciated.

If what is happening seems unclear don't worry to much about it since I need to add a lot of details, and thoughts, esspecially since Chloe is lyng a lot in this part and I give no good explanantion why.

I repeat this is unfinished and is just to see if I got the humanx figured out.

/*/*--/*/*
Chloe sat in a corner of a cargo bay of one of the humanx ships. The former slaves, or at least those not in sickbay for dealing with their rather grievous injuries or an inspection of their overall health, where there too. The cargo bay was bare, with just a few empty boxes serving as benches, the walls had a dull grey finish, and the floor had a classic metal no-slip surface. Chloe had talked with various of the freed slaves about this world and archived a pretty good idea of what she should do. So she requested an audience with the commander of the border patrol, and got it scheduled for right after her medical examination. All there was left to do now was wait, and meditate in hopes of regaining some of the mana she spend on the pirate ship.
A Humanx soldier strode into the room with Ukir ThondaI, the Klingon who had sworn his life to Chloe, and only now Chloe knew enough to know the true significance of such a pledge. Now the question was wether to adopt him into her ‘house’ and give him her family name. The Soldier interrupted Chloe’s musings when he cried out, “Bounty Hunter Kgloehe Readienes Neii! Come with me please.”
It took Chloe a moment to realize that her name was called so badly was it butchered.
“That is Chloe Redienh’s Nei.” She said as she rose and headed towards the door.
“My apologies Miss Nei.” Apologized the soldier as they headed down the corridor, which got him an odd look from Chloe, but she chose not to comment. (1)

***

Just before they enter sickbay.
“Please leave your weapons here.”
“All of them?” Asked Chloe.
“Yes.”
“Very well,” said Chloe, but inwardly she thought, “Like hell.”
Chloe starts removing a few of the weapons she wears, starting with the knives strapped to both arms and legs, counting as she goes.
A few minutes later: “... One hundred and twenty three. Which knives did I miss? Oh of course silly me.” So saying she reaches down and removes six more from the inside of her boots and one out of her hair.
“Is that all?” Asks the somewhat shaken guard.
“But of course not silly, here is my gun.” Chloe replies as she hands over one of her earth-shakers. “That should be all unless I miss counted.” Lied Chloe.
“I think I will take your word, and the metal detector’s, for it.” Said the soldier as he looked at the pile of approximately 130 throwing knives and wondered again how she concealed them all on her small body.

***

The doctor that examined her was a young Thranx, named Xor, not that much taller than Chloe.
“Your records could not be found, so we will have to do a full examination.” Stated Xor.
“What should I do?” Asked Chloe.
“Answer some basic questions first, such as name, race, place of birth, and date of birth?”
“Chloe Redienh’s Nei, Drow, and I’m not sure about either of the others.”
“The computer lists no such race as the Drow. We’ll do a blood and genetic analysis, if that doesn’t turn up anything we would like to test your physiology more completely. Do you know your approximate age?”
“I’m a little over 60 for sure, and I believe I’m below 70 earth normal years.”
“Well then before we move onto the physical part of this examination are you feeling ill or strange in anyway?”
“Yes. Mild headache, mild manaburn, mild dehydration, cramps in my forearms, mild hyperventilation, I’m extremely nervous, my eyes are highly irritated, and part of my hair was burned.”
“What is the source for this nervousness?”
“My weapons are not within easy reach, it’s also quickening my breath and giving me cramps. I feel weak and vulnerable.” Told Chloe with a straight face, quite a feat.
“Well I can’t do much about that,” said Xor, “But I can do something about the dehydration. I assume normal water is fine? Anyway this manaburn you mentioned what’s that?”
“Yes water is fine, and you could return my weapons to me. Manaburn tolerances vary, but the usual symptoms include tiredness, internal bleeding, especially in the lungs, headaches, weakness, weak pulse, unconsciousness or even death. It’s a perfectly normal for a Drow to have after being in a stressful or dangerous situation. And before you ask the eye irritation is caused by overexposure to light, Drow generally prefer the dark. The headache comes from the environmental changes I have been undergoing in the last few hours and the manaburn.”
“I see. I would like a more detailed explanation of what mana and manaburn is later, but for now let’s move on. I need a bloodsample if you don’t mind.”
“Very well, and I would be delighted to discuss more Drow physiology and to learn about Thranx physiology in return.”

***

“This is a test of your strength, how much can you lift?”
“Roughly 20 stones,” lied Chloe.
“Never heard of that unit of measurement, do you know what it is in kilograms?”
“About 100 I think.”
Xor looked down at the lithe form of Chloe and seriously doubted that claim, but set the machine for a 100kg weight. She was astounded when Chloe did lift the bar up without expending too much apparent effort, and that was mostly theatrics by Chloe.

***

“Ah we have the results from the blood tests back. There is now known race matching your genetic data. Seems like we will have to run more complete tests later. For now we’ll just measure your weight and height, after that the commander will see you. Uhm, if you could please remove those boots?”
“No.”
Xor was slightly taken aback by the flatout refusal since Chloe had been very helpful and cooperative so far but just assumed it was some cultural taboo.
“I assume you’ll also want to keep the armor on while being weighed?”
“Yes.”

***

“Commander, here is the bounty hunter.” Announced the soldier that escorted Chloe to the commander’s ready room.
“Very well, you are dismissed, you wanted to see me about something?”
“Yes, about several things in fact. Lets start with the trivial and work our way up. The bounty for the various pirates and Laucilol was issued in Taiidani space, instead of here. Will you honor it, or will you set the pirates free? Or, will you pay me half of the original bounty and make your own deal with the Taiidani?”
“That is not my decision to make, but I suspect it might be the last one or something close to it.”
“Very well, next item, the captured ship.”
“We can’t let you keep that, it has military hardware.” Interrupted the Commander.
“That was not my intention either, I wanted to exchange it for a hyperspace capable freighter.”
“Again not my decision, but you will probably be awarded part of the capture money for the ship, minus our share as determined by the international salvage courts.”
“Acceptable, now for the truly important part . . . The former slaves can’t afford passage back to where they came from, and in many cases they don’t want to. I want you to give Commonwealth citizenship to any of them interested in that, and the support they need to get a job.”
“Again not my decision, but that is something I’ll add to my recommendations when I send in my report. If that is all?”
“It is indeed, oh and I would like o have my weapons returned to me.”
“Protocol is somewhat unclear over that, they should have been removed when you came aboard, unless you are a foreign dignitary visiting, and the weapons have a great cultural importance to your people, as would be the case if you where a Klingon Ambassador.”
“It is against my religion to be unarmed. It is said that those who go unarmed into the afterlife will be chased by the Tannari and the Baatezu, and that those who do not escape them will live in eternal suffering. Also how can one protect the weak if one does not have weapons?”
“I’ll have the knives returned to you while the gun remains in the armory until you leave the ship. Is that agreeable?”
“Certainly, thank you very much. May Akon smile upon you and your ship.”

One thing I think should be mentioned is that magic is known in the Spiral. It's far from dominant, but it is accepted as real. Hell, there was one post concerning mercenaries/bounty hunters that mentioned Lina Inverse was running around. 8)

Many races tend to prefer technology as magic has certain limitations. For instance, there are no magic-based spacecraft.

That said, the Thranx doctor should be able to figure out she's a mage of somesort, at least once he make the connection between mana and magic. He probably wouldn't understand how it works though.

*glances at the amount of weapons she admits to carrying* She's got some kind of subspace pocket thing going I presume?

>*glances at the amount of weapons she admits to carrying* She's got some kind of subspace pocket thing going I presume?

Well yes, she keep almost all her weapons inside her cloak (some out of nessesity, since her bow and her sword are both longer than she's tall.) which can carry an insane amount of stuff, but she does keep rougly 130 throwing knives concealed on her person. When she removes them the metal detector will detect no-more metals on her, except for some jewlery that she never takes off. The jewlery is arguably more dangerous than the knives.


>That said, the Thranx doctor should be able to figure out she's a mage of somesort, at least once he make the connection between mana and magic.

I merly stated that the condition of manaburn wasn't recorded in comonwealth medical computers, Chloe has not yet admited to being a mage, and seeing how magic isn't very common I wouldn't expect the doctor to imediatly make the connection unless mana is the common name for magic energy in the comonwealth.
But I think I'll make this particular doctor an expert in magical disorders, in which case she would understand that Chloe is a mage.


But anyway I seem to have groked the humanx so now I can finish that chapter.

Heh. 'm getting Madmax flashbacks here.
And one of Gryphon's lines from HL comes to mind:
"You could pull an MX missile out of your ass if you needed to, couldn't you?"

Btw. great idea with the trenchcoat of holding.
My own avatar's usual mode of dress follows a similar
philosophy, if without the magic gimicks. Hey, they
called his sensei Manji 'the man with the twelve blades'
among other things. Griever was just a quick study,
though instead of the various cutting implements he
went with guns. When he's expecting trouble he has about
thirteen on his person, handguns mostly, and
slugthrowers at that. Character quirk - prefers
sluggies to energy weapons.

But I ramble.

In any case, nicely done. Looking forward to seeing
more of it.

-Griever