alotta dudes git it confuse...so i gotta do dis

some people git control an power confused
thinkin they the same thing gettin misconstrued
big word speakin yea i got em geekin
but im just tweakin like "take a break from freakin"
it's a easy goin message feel no pressures
from peers or reverends i aint preachin its lessons
im teachin kings peasants, pimps whoever tryna learn
blaze a blunt to this erybody gotta burn
at least one joint, sippin 40's til im 40
but really im lazy cuz the corner's where the liquor store be
i rather brew my own shit an know whats in it
instead of trustin labels, thas fuckin cray-zo
picture unsigned rappers trustin labels
got off track but im able to hop back on
like train bandits gettin they jack on
pack arms but thas not power its control
over slugs in the gun whose impact is powerful
now you hope to challenge me thinkin its fallacy
til i teach you wit a tennis racket analogy
now you see they go hand in hand
but, if you still fail to understand
picture drivin up a mountain with a spiral road
the gasonline is power the steerin wheel's control
the top is your goal so that is where you must go
but too much power without control will run you off the road
gotta stay sober but on E, you goin nowhere
but a one way trip to the state of starvation
clear your windshield of icy debris
so you can see and check your tire treads with a penny
an pressure with a guage keep a pump in the trunk
like rollas who pull you ova if you puffin a blunt
reach the top so you can try on they crown
but balance power wit control cuz it's a long way down
1

I think you should make this an audio
i would like to hear this on wax
be cause it was real good
i like the title and the way
you made your points on whats Power and then Control
overall great post one




brickz aka B.eazy

and to the haterz its still

FUCK YO LIFE

Grab the mic bre, Make that script come to life!

Ima do that for real an thanks for the feed yall
ima do my part to keep thangs poppin

1

Ehhhh, it was alright my dude. I feel what you're trying to say about how Hip Hop operates. I'm just not feeling the way you said it.

The content was good, but the metaphors was weak, flow was on & off. It was iight, but it definately could have been better. Keep trying though, you're only gonna get better.

Yo, I like the feedback you be givin on the ish's and it sound like you know a lil bout the rap game, so real to real, how can I improve my raps?

1) Take time writing your verses. Its not about quantity, its about quality my dude.

2) Make sure your shit flows, make sure it makes sense. Read it over a few times & either add or subtract "DEAD" bars.

3) Talk about real shit, not that fake shit. If you don't got a gun, don't talk about bustin' hammers. If you don't sling drugs, leave it alone. Keep it real to yourself.

4) Keep it short & sweet. Metaphors are called PUNCH-lines cuz its better to tap a niggah in the jaw with a straight to the point punch. You know, short & compact.

5) Put yourself in another niggahz shoes & ask yourself if you read the verse, what would you think. Would you think its tough, wack, corny. You know about rap, you know what's up to your level. Keep it real & the words will keep it real back.

If you do these things, you'll definately improve your skills. Time is the best teacher, you'll get it fammo. Take it easy, 100.

in a world without politics...unfortunately for you my friend, we do not live in such a world

so EVERYTHING is real...i am self-taught so i do not pretend there is a rap manual...there is NONE. use your own discretion while you still can.
1

PS. spare me the "quality over quantity" and "just be yourself" cliches and wtf is a DEAD bar

First of all, I told dude I can't tell the niggah to get better. But I did say I'd give homie some "Tips".

Some people aren't too proud to ask for help. & from what I've read, you need a little HELP too..

& a DEAD bar, is some filler shit. Some corny shit that you just put in to rhyme with the last bar. Most niggahz only have a good 8 to 9 bars in their verses, all the rest of them shits are just DEAD words taking up space. Real rap niggahz know how to carry on a verse without making niggahz fall asleep. I couls ZZZZZZ's on a niggah like you. HaHaHa

the feelin is mutual...your raps do nothing for me...just the same old bullshit that im sick of

i eat chimpanzee rappers like you for breakfast...in tournaments

yea you like money huh so you prolly want my title but you cant earn money like me ...an you cant buy skills...think twice an then think a 3rd time before you judge me ...my record is 500-5 been contributing to rap forums like this one since 98...trust me my best work could have you geekin and you still woudnt be awake....so keep sleepin!!!

why would you assume that this was about "how hiphop operates" ????????
when i mention record labels i say im getting off topic...cuz labels are not what its about...this verse is about power/control in general...it was simply a lesson, it can apply to ANY situation in life that deals with power and/or control

it was a REAL KEYSTYLE an excercise requiring years of skill designed to read at the speed of thought...so ITS NOT SUPPOSED TO HAVE METAPHORS

it ALSO DOESNT REQUIRE FEED because it was a lesson...i am the teacher in this verse...meaning i took a documented fact that someone else wrote/published and simply converted it into a rhyme using my flow skills, i did it in roughly 10 minutes, but got stuck on the last line so that took me a while because i felt that was especially important

part of "QUALITY" is relevance, we all know a written starts out as a key...so why not post the key first to see if people even feelin the topic so you dont waste your time...it ALSO keeps the board from being DEAD, so its much more efficient

i could school you all day but i really have to run!
1

Of course I like $$$$$, don't you? Only a broke niggah would say some dumb shit like that...

Put ya Money/Belt/Pride up, whatever... I do this in my slumber... '98? Its '08 brother, get with the times, adapt, step ya barz up.

My original comment was to you about ya verse, I thought it could've been better, that was that... but then that Prodigy cat asked me how could he better himself. I was talking to him with that other shit, not you, fuckin' clown. Stop getting so sensitive cuz I said ya shit needed work.

If you got a problem, get at me, I'm gonna go hiding... Nobody scared over here

im not a girl so i dont need money to live...yu prolly drink milk like a lil girl hahahaha!

and i nurr said u was scurred...you brought it up...why is that??????????

but since your a gangster tell your gang pals to get your back when you attack (to get my belt) and i will kick all your shitty asses all over this place!