Swearing at Work

It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers. Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated. We do however; realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers. Therefore, a list of 18 New and Innovative “TRY SAYING” phrases has been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner.



1) TRY SAYING:

I think you could use more training.

INSTEAD OF:

You don't know what the f___ you're doing.



2) TRY SAYING:

She's an aggressive go-getter.

INSTEAD OF:

She's a ball-busting b__ch.



3) TRY SAYING:

Perhaps I can work late.

INSTEAD OF:

And when the f___ do you expect me to do this?



4) TRY SAYING:

I'm certain that isn't feasible.

INSTEAD OF:

No f______ way.



5) TRY SAYING:

Really?

INSTEAD OF:

You've got to be sh__ing me!



6) TRY SAYING:

Perhaps you should check with...

INSTEAD OF:

Tell someone who gives a sh__.



7) TRY SAYING:

I wasn't involved in the project.

INSTEAD OF:

It's not my f______ problem.



8) TRY SAYING:

That's interesting.

INSTEAD OF:

What the f___?



9) TRY SAYING:

I'm not sure this can be implemented.

INSTEAD OF:

This sh__ won't work.



10) TRY SAYING:

I'll try to schedule that.

INSTEAD OF:

Why the f____ didn't you tell me sooner?



11) TRY SAYING:

He's not familiar with the issues.

INSTEAD OF:

He's got his head up his a__.



12) TRY SAYING:

Excuse me, sir?

INSTEAD OF:

Eat sh__ and die.



13) TRY SAYING:

So you weren't happy with it?

INSTEAD OF:

Kiss my a__.



14) TRY SAYING:

I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.

INSTEAD OF:

F___ it, I'm on salary.



15) TRY SAYING:

I don't think you understand.

INSTEAD OF:

Shove it up your a__.



16) TRY SAYING:

I love a challenge.

INSTEAD OF:

This job sucks.



17) TRY SAYING:

You want me to take care of that?

INSTEAD OF:

Who the h___ died and made you boss?



18 ) TRY SAYING:

He's somewhat insensitive.

INSTEAD OF:

He's a pr_ck.





Thank You,

Human Resources