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How to respond.....

November 7 2003 at 3:00 PM
Sassy 

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How would one or should one respond to a partner who has affairs with other people? Considering that one's relationship is relatively good and one's partner is a good friend and parent to one's children.

 
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AuthorReply
richie

Re: How to respond.....

November 8 2003, 7:55 PM 

cut his balls off!

 
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Uncle jay

problem solving...

November 10 2003, 11:50 AM 

Step 1:
Analyse the situation.

Step 2:
Identify the problem area.

Step 3:
Brainstorm ideas to correct situation. Come up with alternatives.

Step 4:
Consider the pro & cons involved in all alternative solutions.
Keep in mind the bigger picture.
If he truely loved you, he shouldn't be doing this..hurting you should hurt him too..thats if its love he has for you...


Step 5:
Select one solution.
Consider and plan different phases of implementation and...

Step 6:
Finally action your plan.


My opinion:
In this situation, after reading what you've written, I'd say you either kick his ass...or you (as stated by Richie) cut his balls (THE problem)off...

Comments:
He is a risk to your well being...consider the risk of acquring HIV a very real one if you continue this relationship...be wise think survival, jungle laws still apply.."Survival of the fittest" rid yourself of what will/is handicapping or stunting your personal growth and development be it physical, psycological, or even spiritual...in this case..its "what his name"

Goodluck
(kick his ass!!)



 
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Thank you

November 10 2003, 1:32 PM 

I appreciate the sentiment óf your response, I cant kick his ass although I may wish to at times. I have to take the children into account and their future as well. You are right, I have to analyze more and then act accordingly........... I have a long way to go.

PS. Are you the UNCLE JAY that signed a guest book on a website that belongs to Ruben Tulia and Megan Tulia? If yes where do you know the both from?

Again Thank You,
Sassy

 
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Thickened Cream

Hi Sassy

November 10 2003, 2:29 PM 

I can see on the outset that you've got a dillema on your hands.

It was obviously stated by you that you enjoy a good friendship with you spouse/partner and that does go a long way in a relationship. I would say that you are genuinly in love with him and your problem now is that your attachement to him is faultering because you know he's had affairs. Its normal for you to lose trust in the one you love, and believe me its hard to regain that which once was.

Most times when we are in these kind of turbulant times, the security of who we nurture (children) comes as first priority and that is normal by nature. All life forms protect who they have borne, especially when your children are young.

However, would you sacrifice your happiness for your children? What would you think is the best for them, to be with 2 unhappy parents or be with just 1 and not be subject to contant wars (not that Im suggesting you do war).

In Papua New Guinea we are brought up to believe that when we find a husband than we are secure (works for a lot of people) but once you find yourself alone with your children and you man is cunt hunting.. its happening alot nowadays my advice to you is its high time girlfriend that you did some inner soul searching and analyse if you have really found yourself.

I believe if a woman is secure within herself, come storms or high water, she'll still be standing.

Hope I helped.

CrIImY

 
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Spice

CrIImY you could not have said it any better.....

November 10 2003, 9:39 PM 

Thickened cream you could not have analysed it any better....Most women these days especially those who try to make a better life for themselves find that thier partners cannot sacrifice thier time to support them. As a result, like you said, they go cunt hunting, and yes the trust that you feel for your partner diminishes...in fact you do not know whether you can trust any man anymore. THis causes most of us to build walls around ourselves for fear of being emotionally hurt. But that does not mean that we do not want sex..hell no...we still need that and at least there are some men out there who understand that and are willing to give us a good time without having any strings attached.

Once a man breaks our hearts the only things that become important to us are our children and jobs and of course that once in a while screw.

Peace ,
Spice

 
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mangi gordons

the choice is yours

November 10 2003, 3:53 PM 

Well right now. I think you don't deserve to be with someone like that. If he really cared for you and the kids then would not be having affairs with other people. With the spread of HIV rising, it would be quite risky for you.

From what I gather I'm pretty sure you are a strong and patient person to put up with someone like that.

again the choice is yours to make.

I think you ought to just leave him. But before you do you should consider summoning his so that he can pay maintenance for the child(ren).

you'd be surprise how Sympathetic the courts are towards mothers in your situation..

olsem ting ting bilong mi tasol


 
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Uncle Jay

Re: Thank you

November 13 2003, 5:11 PM 

Yes, twas me that signed...I was just passing thru...Don't know them personally though...(the odd stranger in the neighbourhood)

Hey sassy, regarding your problem...You're strong, all that you'll ever need is within you, just give yourself a chance...you're stronger than you think....Challenges come our way, most times to bring out the potential in you...

You'll know what to do when the time is right...
Trust and believe...

Goodluck
(Every Rose has its Thorns)

 
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ice

cut your losses

November 21 2003, 6:41 AM 

cut the dick head away, he is not good for ya, oh yeah cutting his nuts of is a good idea...

 
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richie

Re: cut your losses

November 24 2003, 3:09 AM 

Glad we agree ice

 
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ice

ta richie

November 24 2003, 7:54 PM 

thanx richie.....but still think u have big balls and a small dick....heeee....heeee LOL

 
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richie

Re: ta richie

November 29 2003, 2:04 AM 

It's al relative ice. I comparison to my big balls my dick may look small but in comparison to whale a shark looks small but its still a huge beast aint it

 
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Thank you all.

November 25 2003, 5:16 PM 

I appreciate all your posts and responses.
I shall take the time to try and resolve my difficulties with my partner.
It is heart breaking and will be for a while but I am sure there is a light at the end of my tunnel.
Once again thank you all.

 
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Anonymous

Re: How to respond.....

November 26 2003, 9:26 PM 

do you wonder why he has affairs, is it just the lure of the sex or something deeper?

 
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