My Miracle - Highest FSH 126.9

There were days when I thought I would never be writing this, and yet here I am.

2000 - 1 son (35 years old)
started trying for #2 in 2001 - got PG on the 1st try. m/c at 7 weeks. Dr. said wait 2 months for a good AF. It never came, but I was having horrible night sweats. I knew I was in trouble.

Did B/W. FSH was 126.9. She told me that I would never conceive again. I fainted right then and there. She told me that RE's wouldn't help me. And she was right. Then I found this board and I found out about Jerome H. Check. Made and appt. and saw him in August 2001. His office had me start on estinyl while I waited the month for my consult and when I got there I had a 22 mm follie. I couldn't believe it.

I did the estinyl and BD with monitoring. I thought if I can just ovulate, I can do the rest myself. Just did the estinyl to lower FSH, and then progesterone and estrace in the 2WW. started doing a little bit of repronex (1 amp) and the HcG shot in my 2nd year.

FInally I decided that since I wasn't making the connection, I would try something more agressive since I was getting closer to 40. I was afraid to do IVF, but I was more afraid of not having another baby. And I knew, I just knew that there had to be some good eggs still left in there. (One nurse in an RE's office told me that once your FSH peaks like that, there's no chance for conception. Who are these people and what is coming out of their mouths? Do they have any idea how much it can hurt people? Especially since it isn't true?)

Three months went by, no O. I thought maybe I will never O again and Check's office will drop me. Neither happened. I O'd the next month and decided to do an IVF with 1 follie (this is all I could ever get and I was grateful for it - believe me).

When I got to Cooper the u/s tech told me that my follie may have travelled but they want me to go ahead anyway. They put me under anethesia and when I came to, they told me that the follie had travelled and to come back in 1 hour to do an IUI. I went outside and threw up 3 times. I hauled myself back in there after and hour and did my IUI. I had done one once before BFN, so I was devestated. I thought if they could get the follie out, do the ICSI, make the connection, put it back in, I would be good to go. But I didn't get that far. Instead I had to do the IUI. But when I left Cooper that day, I had this feeling that I didn't have to go back there ever again. And that was the one that worked.

Here are the details:

CD1 - AF - no estinyl - 3 Fertility Blend (first time i used it)
CD2 - AF 1 estinyl - 3 FB fsh 12.4
CD3 - AF light - no estinyl - 3 FB
CD4 - no AF - 1 est. 3 FB
CD5 - no AF - no est. 3 FB
CD6 - E2 88 fsh 7.6
CD7 - BD - E2 131 fsh 7.2
CD8 - BD - 1 amp repronex and 1 estrace ( i think)
CD9 - BD - 1 amp repronex and 1 estrace
CD10 - told to abstain
CD11- IVF converted to IUI
CD12- BD
CD13- BD
CD14 -BD

Probably had the HcG shot on CD 9 or 10. Notice all the BDing? Well, I was always told it's best to do every other day and that's what I had been doing. But when I found out that after 3 months of no follie's that there was one there, I was going to saturate it with sperm. And something there worked. I also did Yoga for Fertility Video. I also decided to do the estinyl every other day because after being on it for 2 years, I felt it suppressed me. Check and the nurses will tell you it doesn't, but I believe it did.

I never did (but thought about it):

wheatgrass, acupuncture, change my diet, eliminated dairy, herbs etc.

My pregnancy was wonderful physically but emotionally it was hard. Had a terrible AFP test (I wouldn't recommend this - lots of false positives) which showed risk for Down's Syndrome was 1-10. Then did a late term u/s and it showed a calcium deposit in the baby's heart. Now my chances for DS went up to 1 -3. They were all pushing for an amnio but I wasn't having it. I was keeping this baby no matter what and I wasn't sticking that huge needle into my belly. I dealt. On May 26th, I was induced (large baby) and the baby came out blue and not breathing. Then the NICU sweapt in bagged her for 30 seconds. I heard a little cry and then a wail. And all the 2 years and 9 months of struggle all went away. I cried so hard as I held my baby daughter. She was healthy and beautiful - all 9 lbs. 15 oz. of her.

Here's what helped me -

* This board and the over the 40 board - it saved me.
* My beautiful husband who had faith in me and did any tests, submitted specimens without a peep.
* My belief in myself. I knew I could do it.
* A good RE. Ok, an awesome RE who knew I could do it too.
* Great friends.
* Lots of prayer. Lots. I had my friends and family praying for me too.

It makes me so mad when I see young women (I'll be 41in a month holy crap) with an FSH of 12 or 16 or even 24 who go to these Dr.'s who tell them to go to DE. Go to DE because it is easier for you or the Dr? Going to DE will be less work for him. Just because your FSH is over 10, may mean it may take longer to get PG, but it will happen. Look at me. 1 follie. Not even an 18. I think it was a 17. E2 wasn't even over 200. My baby girl is here and so lovely, I can't even stand it.

Konni, Jules, Treva, Robin, Allison, JackieG, MichelleeNJ, Nicole, Denise and all the wonderful women who helped me with their wisdom and knowledge - I couldn't of made it on this journey without you.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

To the new ladies on the board who I will never get to know because I have 2 little kids driving me crazy (thank God) all the best to you. I wish you all beautiful and healthy babies in whatever route they choose to come.

Love and peace,

Ines

"Faith begins in the wilderness when you are alone and afraid, when things don't make sense...In the wilderness of lonliness we are terribly vulnerable...But we may be missing the fact that it is here..here where we may learn to love HIM - here where it seems He is not at work, where His will seems obscure and frightening, where he is not doing what we expected Him to do...If faith does not go to work here it will not go to work at all. God's answer is always "Trust me." - Elisabeth Elliot

"The world is round and the place which may seem like the end may also be the beginning."

- Ivy Baker Priest







They gave me a 1% chance with my own eggs and I ran with it. I had to prove them wrong.