Haru..My complete story..warning..very long..everything mentionrd

Haru..

I found my complete story that was posted a while back. It may be more info than you wanted, but I did the cut and paste thing. I hope it helps. Feel free to ask any questions. In short, all my pg's were natural with no stims, and good old fashioned BD. I did not do any dietary changes, or TCM.



My family actually has a history of late menarche and late menopause. I was 16 before I got my period, like my mom and grandma before me. The thing that I find really scary, is that if I had started my periods any later, or gotten POF any earlier, I would have never gotten periods at all!

In July of 1981 I got my last regular period. I was getting ready for my freshman year of college, and was under extreme stress. I really wasn't ready to leave home, all my friends, and boyfriend, to go to away to a strange part of the country. (I live in Illinois, and went to the University of Arizona) I never got a period after that. I waited a few months to do anything about it because we all thought it was simply stress related, and we thought that after I adjusted to campus life AF would return. By October, It still hadn't showed, and so I made an appointment at the student health center. I was given provera to bring a period on, but it didn't work. I was then put on the pill to go through a cycle (induced) and had AF, but never got it again after that. I spent much of that first year going to appointments to try and figure out what was wrong. Finally, a full work up was done here in Illinois during my spring break. I was diagnosed with POF at age 18 with an FSH of 178, and LH of 90. My periods had completely stopped, I had hot flashes, no estrogen in my system, vag dryness, etc..... I was in full blown menopause! I Had lots of testing done, (karyotype etc..) and found that there was no immunilogical or genetic reason for this. My doctor said that stress had nothing to do with it either, it was just a "freak of nature", and that I went through menopause 30 years too early. I was told that I would have to adopt. I was put on HRT. At that time, I realize that the doctors could only tell me what they knew, and 20 years ago, what they knew (or thought they knew) was that if you go through menopause, your child bearing years are gone. They didn't even give me the DE speech. I was told I was sterile. Period. I would need to adopt. No other option was even discussed with me. I wish I knew then what I know now......it would have saved me years of heartache!

I had been on BCP's for HRT (Taking estrogen and progesterone in seperate pills at different times caused all kinds of spotting, so I was put on BCP's to make it easier to keep track of my cycles) for 8 years. From the time I was 18 until I was 26. During this time, I would go off them periodically to "see what would happen", and when I would, I would get the hot flashes again, no periods, etc... so I would go back on them. Then one day, I had finished a pack of pills, had just finished AF, (I would get AF if I was on medication, but I was told it was just a "side effect" of the drugs. On my own, my body wouldn't go through cycles.) and was out of town for the weekend with my husband. (although we weren't married yet at that time) I didn't have a new pack of pills to start, so I waited till I got back home to start a new pack. I wasn't concerned because I was told it was the long term effect of no estrogen that was bad for my health, not missing a few pills here or there. After I returned home from the weekend, I started a new pack of pills, and at the end of the month I didn't bleed. Turns out I was PG! Not only did it happen when the doctors said it couldn't, I was virtually on BCP's at the time. My doctor thinks all of the estrogen in my system really helped things, and suddenly when ovulation was no longer suppressed, my body just started functioning again. Yes, it was probably the biggest shock of my life, outside of when I was first diagnosed with POF.
When My DD was 6 months old, I started seeing a fertility doctor. I said, "don't tell me it's impossible, because I have living proof right here (showed him dd) that it can happen." He tested my hormones again and said my body was back in POF. I remember, he kept shaking his head. He couldn't understand how it happened, but he said since I could argue it is obviously not an impossibility, that he would try to treat me, but he was very negative about it. He said he was just trying to be realistic. He had me take a heavy duty estrogen pill for 3 months, and then the fourth month we would do Pergonal. I was on so many amps that I had 3 injections per night. Women would mature 10-20 eggs on this stuff, and me......NOTHING. The hard part was that when we saw nothing was happening, I had to wait 3 months before trying again. (because I had to be on the Estrace) It was so frustrating. I couldn't try every month like normal women. We did this for about 2 years, and in that time we saw I matured 1 egg. (once)
Then once again I was out of town. I had just found out that that 1 egg did not fertilize. I was so depressed. We were on vacation. I was not on Pergonal or Estrace. When I came back into town I told my doctor that I felt there was estrogen in my system. (I can tell) He said that just because there may be estrogen doesn't mean you'll ovulate. He told me to buy an Ovulation predictor kit, and call him if I saw a color change. I did, and I saw one. I could tell the nurses didn't even believe me. They kept asking me what day of my cycle was I on. (it was CD 13) They told me to come in for an ultrasound, and they saw a mature egg on each ovary, and that month I got pregnant with twins! One of the embryos failed to develop early on and so I ended up just having one- my second dd. But that PG was with no meds! (although I don't know how long all that medication stays in your system) After this, Miller (My RE) "renamed" my condition. He called it Intermittant Ovarian Failure. (Although the OB I used who delivered my 2nd DD said there is no such thing. I said, "there is now") It just goes to show you that the FSH CAN come down. (even if it goes back up again)
I got PG 3 more times after that (with it taking approximately 2 years each time to get PG), but I lost all 3 of them. (the last one was a late loss @ 5 months due to a problem with the umbilical cord, where I ended up having to deliver a dead baby) Needless to say, when it takes so long to get PG, and then have a loss, and to go through that three times, well it was devastating. It was such an emotional roller coaster, I didn't know if all my eggs were bad, and I was wondering if I should count my blessings (which I did do every day) and call it quits. My husband said 2 things which stayed in my mind.
#1. You don't have to decide that now. In 2 years, when and if you ovulate, you can see how you feel then,
and
#2. If you try again, yes, there is the possibility that you will end up not having that child, but if you don't try, then FOR SURE you will end up not having that child. You won't be any worse off then you are today if you don't try, but if you do.... you just may end up with another baby.
The next time I got PG (2 years later) I was put on Aspirin to prevent any kind of "compromise of blood flow" to the area, and had my son. (at 38 years old)
The bottom line:
It seems like if my body is not going to work, NOTHING will make it work, but if it does decide to work, it does on it's own. It does what it wants to -when it wants to- regardless of any medication. (Although there are many different types of protocal now, and you may find that one of them works for you.)

I am 41 now, and back in menopause. I realize my situation is unusual, but I just wanted to tell you that my menopause gets reversed, and then I go back into it. Some people may think that I wasn't really in menopause if I can get PG, but like I said, I don't cycle at all, my FSH is sky high, and I have no estrogen in my system 90% of the time. I will ovulate occasionally, but it is really rare. It happens about once every 2-3 years. I am in such extreme pain, that I can tell exactly when it is happening, and can "catch" it every time. The The HRT really helped me. You also might want to look into acupuncture and herbs like many of the women on the bbs.

If it seems like your FSH never comes down, and you never ovulate, there are other options that are available. If you strongly desire a child to love, don't give up on having your family. There are many different ways to get there. I wish you the best.
Like I said before, let me know if you have any questions. I know it's hard, but try not to let depression take over. I am proof that it is wrong to tell someone they will never get pregnant. The odds may be low, but RE's should never say "never". As long as you have a uterus, it is possible, even if it is not likely.
I was told I had a 0-1% chance of ever having a baby, and I had three!

I really wish you the best of luck, and remember, I can sympathize. I know exactly how you are feeling!!!

Marci


My stats:
DX POF @ 18 years
DD @ 27 years (she is now 14)
DD @ 29 years (she is now 12)
m/c @ 32 years (at 12 weeks)
m/c @ 34 years ( at 6 weeks)
m/c @ 36 years (at 18-20 weeks)
DS @ 38 years (he is now 3)

Intermittant POF throughout this whole time. Back in POF now @ 41 yrs.