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REALLY annoyed by Old Timer's post!

March 26 2011 at 9:32 AM
Katie  (Login KatieMay)

Response to Can we do something about this? (Well intentioned thoughts from long time member)

Really? Seriously? Are we really going to start doing this? Comparing our respective diagnoses in some sort of an effed up pissing contest?

Okay! Let's play that game! So my RE told me that he'd rather have 2 eggs from a 30 year old than 20 eggs from a 40 year old!! How about them apples??? Age is actually a MUCH better predictor of success than FSH. And as far as FSH being just over 10 versus sky high...come on people!!! How many women have we seen on this board with an FSH of 12 that only have 1-2 eggs?? Plenty! And how many women with an FSH of over 20 are retrieving lots of eggs per cycle?? Uh, yeah, you get my point?

So since you seem to like to compare...let's do it! So I spent part of my teens and all of my 20's looking for Mr. Right. I saw all of the unhappy relationships and divorces and I knew I didn't want that. Neither did I want to have a child on my own...nothing against women who do, I just personally wanted my child to have 2 parents. So I waited and waited and waited. And then I met him. And now, my husband is the most wonderful thing in my life. I feel so blessed and lucky. But when we met, I was finishing my doctoral degree. If we had a baby right away, our baby would have had to go into day care or stay with a nanny. And again, nothing against women who do it, but I didn't want someone else to raise our child.

And let me mention that all of these years I have had to bear the constant comments from the peanut gallery about my biological clock. Not to mention the years of being the only single one at parties and family gatherings with everyone saying, "Oh, don't worry, you'll find someone!" UGH!

So I feel like I made all of the decisions that were right for me and right for my potential children. I didn't just "settle" for an unhappy marriage because of the pressure of my biological clock. I didn't just have a baby before I was able to financially afford it. I waited until the situation was just right for raising a child. We are financially and emotionally ready to give 100%. And I must say that since the day I met my husband I have been overwhelmed by the deep sense that this is it--this is the man I was supposed to wait for, and this is the man I was meant to have children with.

And then, back in December, after a long while of TTC...I was told I had high FSH and that I would never have my own children. I have never in my life felt what I did on that day. The feeling was indescribable. The pain. The terrible guilt that because of me, my DH would be sentenced to a life either without children or with someone else's children. DH was supportive, but honestly, I felt like a woman without a country...alone and adrift.

And then I found this forum. And it has been my strength.

Oh, and yeah, my FSH is not that high. Highest was 16.6. And I am 38. So I guess I don't deserve your support, huh? I guess I should just suck it up since I brought it on myself by waiting so long, right?

This was a really jerky post that honestly it has left me feeling very sour and like I shouldn't be here.

And as far as the "cheerleading" goes...In some of the darkest hours I've had to date, these "cheerleaders" have posted to check on me. And it has made all the difference in the world.

And as a final point, let me say this....the reason why I waited so long is because I consider having children to be the greatest gift and the most important responsibility in life. It was so important for me to have everything just right before bringing a child into this world. Because that's how important having a child is to me.

How dare you or anyone else make assumptions about the impact that this diagnosis has had on me or on anyone else.

 Respond to this message   

  1. Missed the original point - Jane on Mar 26, 2011, 10:35 AM
    1. Then go, with our blessings - Mrs. A on Mar 26, 2011, 10:41 AM
    2. No actually I think I get your point perfectly... - Katie on Mar 26, 2011, 10:53 AM
      1. okay, but if you leave, I will hunt you down with my brick - sch1star on Mar 26, 2011, 11:39 AM
        1. oh sch1star, you make me laugh... - Katie on Mar 26, 2011, 11:42 AM
      2. You had better stay put!!! - DeeinNYC on Mar 26, 2011, 12:43 PM
      3. wanted to say, - lurker on Mar 26, 2011, 1:28 PM
        1. Again, absolutely ridiculous to try to compare!!! - Katie on Mar 26, 2011, 4:13 PM
          1. geez, you are so self-absorbed - lurker on Mar 26, 2011, 8:32 PM
            1. Please try to read carefully! - Katie on Mar 26, 2011, 11:05 PM
              1. Katie - SueTX on Mar 27, 2011, 9:24 AM
            2. That Was One of the Most IGNORANT remarks I have read on this board - DeeinNYC on Mar 27, 2011, 6:59 AM
              1. I agree with you - Anon on Mar 28, 2011, 6:16 PM
            3. being young - Anon on Mar 28, 2011, 8:46 AM
        2. OF COURSE IT'S TRUE. - Kelly on Mar 26, 2011, 8:06 PM
      4. Since you seem to be referring to me, Katie, I'll reply - Jane on Mar 26, 2011, 7:49 PM
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