by my RE#2. I saw him when I was 40, with one ovary (other surgically removed several years due to an endometrial cyst), hashimoto's and an fsh over 10. He said ivf wasn't worth it and that it was time we started looking into DE or adoption.
I was absolutely devasted. I literally couldn't eat for a week and dropped 4 lbs in a few days. I cried constantly, even at work. It was horrible. Then I got googling, found my way here and starting getting mad. I did a bunch of research and found the best RE that I could for my situation.
Less than a year after that appt I was blessed to get pg naturally with my now one year old son. In between I had two failed ivf's and was prepping for my third when I got pg.
Looking back now, I realize that RE didn't treat many women like me. He didn't know how to treat me, so he basically pushed me away. So many of these doctors can see easier patients. They don't have to treat the tough cases so they tell us we don't have a chance. I don't think that is true at all, and we shouldn't be listening to them.
Only you can decide what is an appropriate plan for you and your family. I recognize that I was lucky. I did have a long term outlook - I was prepared to go through 4 ivf cycles, and if that didn't work, I was going to look into DE. That helped give me the strength to get through the long slog.
If he doesn't treat high fsh women on a daily basis, then he's not an expert. Just being a fertility doctor does not make him special. I know it's a hard road, and it can seem even harder when someone who you think knows what they are talking about says hard things. But that doesn't make him right. My crappy RE was wrong, I bet yours is too.