Of course you're negative, IF is a bitch, but many of us understand and feel the same way even if we don't say so. Your posts are always honest and brave and I respect that. You also have an entertaining way of articulating things and you keep things interesting here. Ignore the anons, they don't mean anything and you've brought a lot to the board. And you're question about grey hair was totally valid! It's been asked before and I've wondered the same thing.