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I NEVER had a BFP in over 36 months of trying... (pg and stuff mentioned)

January 26 2012 at 7:51 AM
Sara H  (no login)

Response to Never a BFP


Never. Never had one at all.

We were totally at the end, trying this one last time before moving on. We were on the donor embryo list and had been matched. We were going to try an IVF round (we had one failed before) and then use our donor embies if we did not get good quality ones ourselves.

But we tried one. more. cycle.

And, finally, got a BFP that seems to be going really well. (10 weeks tomorrow)

There was a chat on here a while about, not medically but mentally, was it better to have had a BFP and a loss or never to have had a BFP at all. I felt at the time and even more so now, better to never have one than go though the pain of a loss, personally.

As far as IVF I can't say but I would question:
You have done stimms, how do you respond?
Could you go to a lower priced clinic, like Cooper?
Would you qualify for one of the programs? (Like three for the price of two deal?)
When was your last HSG and was everything clear?
Would you clinic let you: Tell them you were doing an IUI so it's covered, but you ask to up your meds to "see how you respond" and if you get a great response switch last minute to IVF? (so your insurance will cover some?)

And, I totally with the previous poster, ask them what they are going to change to see how you do next cycle. The same thing over and over is silly!

As far as how to stay sane I have to say for me and my DH it was all about having other paths to follow. Being on the donor embryo list was such a stress reliever for us! We knew, because of money, we could not do donor egg and most adoption agencies would not give us a good shot at all. So, we were on the donor list and were getting ourselves ready to apply to be foster parents. We knew we wanted to be parents, we just did not know how that was going to happen!

Good luck to you and hold on, you never know what the next cycle brings.
Hugs and love,
Sara H

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  1. Re: I NEVER had a BFP in over 36 months of trying... (pg and stuff mentioned) - Heather on Jan 26, 2012, 9:32 AM
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