Hi Teresa (religious post)March 28 2012 at 9:03 AM
|Laura (no login)|
Response to I think this is Goodbye (mc mentioned)
As you know I've been on my lenten break from this board (even though it's still lent, something has been pulling on my heart to check the board the past few days and this morning I gave in, but told myself I'd only post if there's someone who really needs support..and here you are). I have to say, the break has been very freeing. I think there's something about the board that made my anxiety about IF worse...even though many times I found good advice and support. I've been able to focus on my family much more now, and I am leaning on God much more than I was (without knowing that I wasn't)
I'm so sorry you are in such terrible pain, and you deserve better. I've been through one loss myself and it was hard enough (and there was a good explanation for it I found out), I can't imagine doing it 3 more times with NO explanation. It may have been your fibroid but as you said there are many Drs who said probably not, so that doesn't help at all.
If you think it's right in your heart to walk away, then do it. God is walking with you and it's ok to lean on Him. He will carry you if you need that too. It's ok to be mad at Him and scream at Him in the process. He can take it, and He won't stop loving you. I think a grief counselor is a good idea right now. Not just for your tangible losses, but the loss of possible future genetic children as well. There's something about not being able to carry a baby that just makes me feel like less of a woman. It IS what makes us women.
I don't know if you are open to adoption, but there are some adoption agencies that are actually run by the Catholic church and give priority and reduced fees to families like you; unable to get pregnant for medical reasons and currently childless. They do great work helping pg women and women with IF in need. If that's something you're open to researching in the future, I would recommend it.
Many blessings, and I will be praying for you and wherever your journey takes you.
- I have been thinking of you, Laura - Teresa on Mar 28, 11:06 AM