I felt bad about posting continuously as "anon" this or that for the past couple of weeks, but could really use your advice, so I'm coming out!
Some history in addition to the signature... we ran out of fertility insurance coverage, so we decided to try one more time by paying out of pocket for the new "natural" IVF option my clinic is now offering. It's 3 retrievals plus 1 transfer using Clomid for what ends up being, when all fees are added up, just under $10K. We figured why not, let's try.
Retrieval one with Clomid: total bust. Had 3 nice size follies that were all empty.
RE let me move forward with injectibles without raising the price (though we paid for those meds, too).
Retrieval two with injectibles and Ganirelix: had about 4-5 follies in the running, 1 retrieved, beautiful 8 cell grade 1 embryo. For the past year, though, whenever we've done a FET or even fresh transfer, lining has been horrible (usually praying for it to get about 5). I've done it all... Viagra, l-arginine, Estradiol, etc, and still... horrible. This time, it got to 7.5 on its own, so RE said, "My gut says to transfer." So we did... BFN today at 12dp3dt. I'm so sad... I was sort of feeling hopeful... I've been nauseous since yesterday and generally feeling different than in recent cycles.
So now we have the 3rd and last retrieval available to us. We have to see how much it'll cost to pay for an extra transfer.
So I guess I am just asking for advice here on a couple of things. What is the minimum lining you would transfer into? Was it too much of a gamble to move forward with a 7.5? As a side note, at transfer, we asked that RE to tell us how the lining was, fully expecting to hear "8", but he said 5.5. It was measured that day abdominally, so I don't know how accurate it was, but still...
Also, my mother in law, who lives in France and may have a different point of view on this, says, "Why don't you use a surrogate?" Is that a reasonable option in terms of it making sense in our case, and if so, if you use someone you know personally (not that I've ever asked; this just came to me a few minutes ago), would it cost anything more than the actual transfer? I've heard about surrogacy costing huge amounts, but don't know anything else about it.
I should say that we are very grateful to have a 2.5 year old DD born as a result of IVF, so I know that I can carry a baby, but on the other hand, I know that this could easily change over time (meaning maybe my lining isn't good enough anymore; though I don't understand why).
Thank you all for your help, both as an anon poster and as Hadas!
Me & DH: 38
Married at 32 and TTC right away
2/07: IUI #1 (Clomid only) BFP (No more hb at 9 weeks; D&C)
Through rest of 2007: Multiple IUI's (Clomid or Femara): all BFN
3/08: IVF #1 FSH: 11.6 (highest ever recorded for me) MDL protocol; BFP/chemical
10/08: IVF #2: BFP! DD born 7/09
5/10: Uterine polyp removal
8/10: FET #1: BFP/Chemical
11/10: IVF #3: Retrieval only; transfer postponed due to thin lining
1/11: FET #2: BFN
3/11: FET #3: BFN
12/11: Uh oh... FSH 16