My HERstory (little spin on history) OE child, DE mentAugust 3 2012 at 9:59 AM
|Rebekah (Login Bestbehavior)|
Response to How do you muster the strength/courage to try again at IVF? (BFN mentioned)
First off hugs. That BFN is never easy - whether first, third or hundredth time. We gave ourselves designated time limits. I started when I was 29 - 2 years, 2 RE's later I was lucky I squeezed out a healthy egg on a clomid, gonal f, IUI combo. My 2nd RE was very supportive of trying whatever (sadly the others at her clinic were not and they gave me the boot when I was ttc#2). I only ever got 1 or 2 eggs so we did not attempt IVF. I tried every natural/holistic thing out there for ttc#1 and 2. Including mayan massage, naturopath, vitamins, acupuncture, reiki . . . When I was 34 we decided to make the trek to Cooper/Check. But we did declare an end date - Oct 2010-Oct 2011. I knew it would be hard to get off the train (just try one more time) so when a year went by and I didn't have success we scheduled an "exit" visit w/ Check and were on our way. I did learn a lot from Check and he really did help me get to where I wanted to be, emotionally and mentally. I went back to the first RE because he was close to my home and I wanted to try a round of clomid one more time. By then I had not gotten AF for a full year and the follicle that grew was empty. A few months prior to that I had started HRT and my life improved dramatically. We also attended DE info sessions. I think that was the turning point for me. Feeling so low that I just wasn't producing the eggs that I wanted to I walked down the hall of that hotel lobby to the info session and stepped into a room filled with people - ladies, men, people needing/wanting to know more about DE. I was stunned really. I didn't feel so alone. There is something to be said by the physical presence of other people. With much soul searching and support from my husband we are beginning the DE process. I've officially made peace with my body. It took almost 5 years and 4 months to the day of the first DE speech I ever received.