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Hope through Pain (mc, surro, successes mentioned)

October 13 2012 at 8:20 AM
LoveNeverEnds  (no login)


Response to So is EVERYONE you know pregnant right now too?

 
Yes, I have a friend who is pregnant with twins who must of gotten pregnant right before her wedding...my sister-in-law who is about to have an "opps" baby...my cousin, who already has 3 and has once lost custody of her children for neglect, is now pregnant again...it keeps going..

I was feeling like God (insert spiritual belief) was all "So these women have no issues getting pregnant and having babies, but you are being sent down the hard path..the scenic route..into the unknown...that may never lead to that precious baby in your arms one day" Really a tough thought to eradicate from your mind, isn't it? But I don't think he/she(insert spiritual belief) works that way....

With yoga, spiritual focus, etc..I've tried to turn that stabbing of jealousy and hurt into happiness for those women....as much as possible...I bought a gift card and congrats to your new baby card for my sister-in-law..and have yet to send it. It's sitting on my counter right now..just staring at me.

Keep in mind that I was about to deploy to afghstanland when I tested positive with a blood test...tested positive again a week later..waited 10 weeks thinking I was pregnant...went to the ultrasound and saw nothing. NOTHING. devastation. Then at the end of all this, was told that I may have never been pregnant at all. That's tricare for ya.

Jokes have come my way when I've told them that I didn't deploy because of a series of unfortunate events.."So when are you due? (followed by laughter" OUCH...stab stab stab...I have Soldiers who are newly pregnant..wearing their maternity uniform..like the one I was wearing even though I was apparently never pregnant at all...OUCH makes me feel like such a Dope...to think that pregnancy would be that easy for me..so confident to wear the maternity uniform before the first ultrasound...

So now..I'm recovering from my laparoscopy/hysteroscopy and they are optimistic. that the endo wasn't as bad as they thought.

What really really really helps...is that I have a cousin who is using a gestational carrier in India (her husband is from India, and it's cheaper? there)...and is progressing beautifully! She has posted the ultrasound so proudly. That it's happening despite her issues with her reproductive anatomy.

Hope...


 
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  1. Re: Hope through Pain (mc, surro, successes mentioned) - Buddircup on Oct 13, 2012, 6:10 PM
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  3. Questions - rose on Nov 29, 2012, 1:51 PM
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