I was hoping so much that this was going to be your time. I don't know what to say other than I am so sorry this happened. I too, hope Dr C heck has some insight into what happened, I am interested in his thoughts.
McIrish, I wish you peace in coming to terms with all of this. You have been through so much for so long- that is so not fair. Dee said it best, take your time to process all of this and maybe wait before making any decisions.
Praying for you, for continued strength, peace and hope. I am thinking of you and here if there is anything I can do for you.