Just wondering why all REs push us, the poor responders to DE even if are ready to spend and try with our eggs. We ourselves know our limitations and what are other options available but still wanted to proceed and willing to spend money and time. Why these doctors gives still that speech repeatedly before anything like they are forcing us to move to DE instead improving our health and try to conceive. that's really discouraging and disappointing.Is there any business point of view? Just want your opinion on this.

Wish you all good luck

because our failed cycles hurt their stats.

Do what's best for you!!

Best,
Lindy

I think there is a lot more profit in DE since it's usually not covered by insurance so REs pocket the full amount without having to accept the lower insurance contract rates. Just a thought...

On the other hand, I do think that REs have the moral obligation to mention DE as a viable option. For me, I found it comforting to know that if all else fails, I can still have the family that I desire. But, coercing women to take the DE route is wrong.

XOXO Helena

I have gotten the de speech, and I know how it hurts. But here is another perspective...
I have gone through three ivfs, only one even made it to transfer/retrieval. That one worked, but we still lost it. We do not have endless money, and I am turning 41.

My RE was in the room when we saw there was no more heartbeat. She was worried and concerned about me, and saw me wailing and crying.

I truly believe that when she started talking to me about de, it was not her stats, but me and my life that we were talking about. I have needed to go through what I have gone through to get here, and I do not regret anything. In fact, I am doing another, final cycle with my own eggs.

I think sometimes that REs push too hard and too early, but it is not simply a matter of how much money you have and how hard you are willing to try.

I honestly think they work with gals who get pregnant with de and see how happy they are, and that there life goes on. Mine has been stuck in park for 4 years, ttc, depression, etc.

Just another pov...I just don't think it is as simple as assuming it is all driven by statistics.

Thank you ladies for the povs. Its really good to hear that there are people who think for others feelings and future and suggesting good options.

Thanks and Good luck

REs often bring up DE to high FSH patients too soon because they have crappy bedside manner and don't take the time to get to know people before presenting them with their options (our healthcare system doesn't give ANY doctors time to deliver various options to patients at the stage at which they are best coped to hear/deal with them).

But I agree that hearing about options that exist at the beginning of treatment is generally good, it's just tough to hear it when you're not ready. I'm sure some REs push DE, but there are lots that don't. I had to bring up DE to my doc. The first time I did he cut me off and said, "For right now we're talking about YOUR eggs."

The second time I brought it up he was more willing to discuss it (his clinic has a thriving DE practice) but honestly, he mentioned adoption as another option in that same conversation, and that just slayed me because I am not willing to give up on being pregnant yet. Funny, he brought up adoption 2 minutes after telling me I was the ideal DE candidate.

Anyway, so many on our board have had terrible dealings with REs, it's understandable that there would be cynicism regarding this question--well justified cynicism--but remembering that doctors are trained to give us all our options and to lead with statistical data based on the established science (of which there isn't nearly enough on High FSH/DOR) is important so we don't lose our minds thinking thieves are treating us.

Me: 37
DH: 35 (normal SA)
Dx: DOR
Highest FSH: 20
TTC #1: 20 months
3 IUIs on clomid
2 BFNs: 7/07 and 8/07
1 BFP: 9/07 ended M/C
Started Gonal-F 10/07
IUI#4: BFN 11/2/07
Gonal-F cycle 2 11/5/07
IUI#5: BFN 11/23/07
Gonal-F cycle 3 11/25/07
IUI#6: BFN 12/18/07

IVF#1: Cancelled 4/1/08
3 months Acu, herbs prior

Going back to natural, acu, herbs, until Sept. for IVF#2