I guess the good thing is that I made it to transfer this time, but the quality was pretty poor. I had a 2, 4, and 6 cells with lots of fragmentation. I'm just so upset. It seems that with every ivf I get further from my dream. Then I'm mad at myself for being so upset because that doesn't help. I also feel like taking all of the progesterone in the 2ww is a total joke, but I'll do it.

Anyone else feel like they are just going through the motions with fert treatments. Sometimes I feel like it's just a task I have to do anymore. Maybe this is a sign that I need a break.

Thanks for all of your support this cycle. Good luck to everyone cycling:)
Maureen

You never know.....some of the scrapiest embies turn out to be beautiful babies. I do know what you mean about going through the motions. When I cancelled this cycle I actually felt relieved because of the money saved! That is when you know you are pessimistic.....or when you are trying to figure out where you will be when you get the bad news two months from now......all not good signs and the way I've begun to live my life.

I hope you are most pleasantly surprised at the end of this 2ww!! Hang in there.

xoxo, Tracy

I knew you'd totally understand how I feel. DH is trying to be nice, but he only makes me cry more. This journey sucks. I guess I have to remind myself that somehow we will get there, but the path is unknown.

Hope you had a great weekend.
Maureen

I'm sorry you are feeling so low about your embies. It's true that miracles can happen, but it is so hard to move forward when the miracles happen to everyone except you. I got word that, of my 7 eggs, only 4 were mature, and only one is still alive. This is really the end for me. It's so hard to surrender, but I know trying this for a SEVENTH time is futile. Now the hard part begins, at least for me: how does one make a life out of such despair?

I posted to you on the 40+ board...But I just wanted to congratulate you here too...I know you are worried but you still have a great chance!!! Don't count them out....It's much to soon for that ok???

I will be beaming you all kind of positive thoughts and vibes from "The Great White North"...well it's summer here and it's not white right now...but you get what I mean right????!!! LOL

Love,

E

She ended up with quads after transferring the four scrappiest embies her embryologist had seen. You JUST never know what is going to stick. And you're totally still in the running. I hear that it's hard and you're tired, but you're still in the running for this cycle.
Take good care of yourself.
L

sorry to hear that, but don't give up hope! I've heard of lots of stories where scrappy embies stuck.

Good luck!
ELE

don't give up, friend! Give those embies good thoughts and love, and wait and see. I know this wait is the hardest - I transferred 2 that looked decent and I had pretty much written it all off by the end of the 2ww. And, I second everyone that you NEVER know what quality embies will turn into what - you transferred 3, that's great!

Is this the second full IVF for you? I can't remember...

Try to distract yourself to get through the wait. I will think positive thoughts.

and yes, I hear you on going through the motions. It just feels like it's my life - and that's just what I have to do. But when I stop and think about it, I hate it so, so much. If I didn't have support of others in the same place, there is no way I could do it.

hang in there!
Jess

hey maureen, I was waiting for updates. Please dont give up hope! You really have good chances of getting a +!

get yourself busy during these annoying 2ww and lets wait for good news!!!!

You never know. Be good to yourself.

((((HUGS))))

Jeni

You are all so sweet for responding. I've been sending my little embies my love and just trying to live in the moment that I have them for now.

Thanks,
Maureen