IVF#4= BFNJuly 2 2012 at 11:25 AM
|Mrs. McIrish (no login)|
I just logged on to my local RE's site to check my results and HCG is 0.7...
I have a callback with C.heck tomorrow but I can't see that he will have anything to say that will change my mind about stopping treatment. I've never had an embryo that wasn't severely fragmented or bigger than 5 cells on day 3. It's like I've never even had a chance... It's just too heartbreaking to keep going through this.
I'm so sorry hon :(
|July 2 2012, 11:50 AM |
I hope you take care of yourself and grieve. We've been there
Re: IVF#4= BFN
|July 2 2012, 11:51 AM |
I'm so sorry
|July 2 2012, 12:41 PM |
It's such a horrible horrible feeling. Take care of yourself. xoxo
|July 2 2012, 1:05 PM |
I'm so sorry about the BFN. I was hoping you would beat the odds. Try to take a deep breath if you can and see what Dr. C.heck has to say tomorrow. I had similar type of embryo quality to you (although your fert % seems good - certainly much better than I ever achieved). Sending you hugs and please post about your call. SMRC
|July 2 2012, 1:08 PM |
I will update after I talk to C.heck but it seems crystal clear to me that there are egg quality issues here. I had great fert rates for three cycle and one with no fert but that was because all we had was as immature egg.
I'm so so sorry.
|July 2 2012, 2:48 PM |
I was so hoping for you. I'm really sorry it's been so hard and I totally understand being done. This process is just impossible and all-consuming. I'm thinking of you and please let me know if there's anything I can do to help/support you.
So sorry, Mrs. McIrish
|July 2 2012, 5:59 PM |
I just wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you and so sorry that you are going through this.
So very sorry
|July 2 2012, 7:54 PM |
I am so very sorry. I know that you are heartbroken right now. I think you need to be sure that this really is an egg quality issue. Could it be protocol or a lab issue? I forget your history but what if any clinics besides Cooper have you been to? Whatever the case, its really hard to make life changing decisions form the place you are at right now. You are going to need to process this and what you have been through. Don't rush it and try not to make any rash decisions. We are here for you if you need to talk or vent. Thinking of you.
Thanks Dee. I did 2 IVFs in B.righam in Boston in 8/11 and 10/11. Both were max stims (one EPP and one MDLF). I had 2 embryos for both and did 2dt's. The embryos were 4 and 2 cell for IVF#1 but very frag and only 1 and 2 cell for #2 (the 2 cell was frag, the one cell was basically dead).
I had nothing to transfer for #3 and this round, had a dead 5 cell (it didn't grow from day 2 to 3) and a 4 cell and 5 cell with more than 50% frag on day 3. I am losing my job at the end of the year so we can only go to places that take my insurance (C.ornell is not an option) and I can't keep traveling for IVF one week per month to bank eggs at S.I.RM or somewhere like that. In a perfect world where I didn't have to work or $$ wasn't an issue, I think I could keep going physically/emotionally but that just isn't my reality.
|July 3 2012, 3:17 PM |
Ok. I hear you and TOTALLY get what you mean when you say in a perfect world you could entertain other ideas. We have to deal with our own reality. Just know that this is just one door that has been TEMPORARILY closed. I say temporarily because you do not know what awaits you. It's also okay. Another door will open and while it is hard to see now, but it will. Maybe you need the rest and break mentally, spiritually and emotionally. Whatever the case, as always, I will be wishing you the best.
I'm truly sorry
|July 3 2012, 3:32 AM |
I was hoping so much that this was going to be your time. I don't know what to say other than I am so sorry this happened. I too, hope Dr C heck has some insight into what happened, I am interested in his thoughts.
McIrish, I wish you peace in coming to terms with all of this. You have been through so much for so long- that is so not fair. Dee said it best, take your time to process all of this and maybe wait before making any decisions.
Praying for you, for continued strength, peace and hope. I am thinking of you and here if there is anything I can do for you.
I am so sorry (hugs)
|July 3 2012, 6:34 PM |
I had Check's lab tell me that my eggs looked "dark and grainy" . . . feels like crap. I remember feeling physically ill when the lab called me and told me that.
This is a bit of a hail Mary, but has your husband had the SCSA test done on his sperm? I'm wondering if that could be some of this. If so, there would be supplements that he can take.
Again, so sorry. We are all surrounding you and supporting you through this.
|July 5 2012, 6:44 PM |
So sorry. I was hoping this would be your lucky cycle.
I hope there is some hope and peace for you. This IF journey can be so difficult. Take care of yourself.
Was C.heck able to offer anything helpful? While he is unconventional, he does come off as truly caring about his patients... at least at the sole consult I had with him.
Spoke to Dr. C.heck the other night
|July 5 2012, 7:16 PM |
He didn't really have anything new to add but thought I should keep trying if I have insurance coverage and able to keep coming to NJ. We also discussed the DE program and I am looking into those options now. I do have coverage for the medical part of DE since I am under 40. But is still too expensive for me up here in the Boston area as you have to use an agency. I will be calling tomorrow to see if RBA's frozen eggs would be covered by my insuance (thanks for the idea DeeinNYC). I said it wasn't but now I'm thinking it may be... I do'nt have a lot of time left on my insurance to wait on C.heck's shared cycle list so RBA could be ideal if mostly covered.
|Michelle in SF|
|July 5 2012, 8:27 PM |
I know what you are going through. Just had my WTF meeting with my one egg transfer that didn't take and it was brutal. Got the DE speech from doc that was supposed to be high FSH friendly. But I don't blame him I guess. So just know that you are not alone in this!
|July 7 2012, 10:04 AM |
I was glad to see your update, and am keeping you in my prayers. You are a FIGHTER! I'm so very, very glad to hear you are looking into DE. If you're up to it, please update when you can with your progress. You are always in my thoughts, always! I wish nothing but the best for you.