Fertility awareness testing: 32 yrs old and concerned...March 16 2016 at 12:17 PM
|Lodi (Login lodi15)|
I'm completely new to the forum and decided to join because of the results of my fertility awareness testing. First my results: AFC 13, FSH 12.7, and my estrogen level at 50. After reviewing some other posts, I realize my situation could be much worse. However, I'm not exactly in the market to get pregnant just yet...although I would love to!
A little about my background...I'm recently divorced from a marriage that lasted really about a month and a half but from an over 10 year relationship. My ex cheated and left me for a coworker without any explanation (other than I realized he has borderline personality disorder). He would rather run from his problems than face them, and I always made him confront them. Anyways, the split happened when I was 30 yrs old. We planned to start a family immediately following our wedding. Now, 2 years later I've met a wonderful man but he is much younger than me (only 24!). We have only been dating about a year now, and although I've known him for years (I'm very good friends with his sister and family), I'm not sure if he's "the one" yet. He knows my situation and understands I want to start a family ASAP under the right circumstances. He's on board but stated he would really like to wait a couple years, and I completely agree. So, with this relationship and my new found test results, I'm in a tough spot. Do I stay with him and try getting pregnant in a couple years, or do I go ahead and use a donor and try sooner. The fertility clinic recommended freezing my eggs, however, its WAY too expensive for me to do anytime soon.
Any advice, stories, or feedback is appreciated! Sorry I went into the personal background but this is a tough situation and definitely not ideal. I want more than anything to have my own children and I'm not sure if waiting is a risk I should take. Thank you!
|March 16 2016, 1:04 PM |
So your numbers look REALLY, REALLY good to the population on a site like this!! I would ask for a retest on FSH to see how it jumps around in a couple cycles to help with the decisions you have ahead. That alone might really help your decision. In any case, the questions that I would consider (after having been around the infertility block a while) are:
Are you ready to have a baby now, possibly alone?
How important is this guy and the relationship? Which begs the question-
Is it worth waiting for him and possibly not being able to have your genetic child if you don't freeze your eggs? That is definitely on the extreme side, but a possibility you should know about. There is no test to say how quickly your fertility will decline but evidence says after age 35 it declines rapidly. Based on your numbers now that could happen sooner, but maybe not? Keep in mind that women not having their own genetic child happens every day (through adoption, egg donation, embryo adoption, but all these options are also generally very expensive). I believe what is more probable is that you will need help from an RE to have a baby in a few years. It may take persistence and will probably include a roller coaster of emotions. Insurance coverage is increasingly rare and so at a minimum right now your best bet is to save $ for this possibility so it will help you feel like you have options if you need them. If you don't need it, you'll have a great nest egg.
That being said I would do everything I could to save up $ and freeze my eggs now. If it works out with your guy you may still be able to get pregnant in a couple years with him and never use them (this would be like a backup plan if having a genetic child is your priority).
I think you are very smart to have went ahead and looked into this now. Unlike many that find themselves here you are lucky to have these numbers and options. Like many here, you are faced with very tough decisions that are emotionally and financially taxing. I wish you the best.
|Sarah in Seattle|
1000% agree - beg,borrow,steal to freeze your eggs
|May 6 2016, 10:51 AM |
If I were you I would definitely freeze them now if you aren't able to decide for certain to go for it and have your curren boyfriend's child. Good luck!
|March 20 2016, 8:58 AM |
I was 32 when I started trying to get pregnant - I honestly don't remember my exact numbers, but they weren't too bad except for AMH which led my RE to estimate my success chance with IVF was 5%. Anyway, if I were in your shoes I'd ask about freezing your eggs - at my clinic that's less expensive than a donor egg cycle (not much less, but still less nonetheless). If you have already mentally accepted that you'll need to use an egg donor then honestly there's no rush and you can wait as long as you like. We worked through fertility testing around age 33, by 34 I was pregnant with DE and so happy we moved forward with that option. Good luck whatever you decide
Re: Fertility awareness testing: 32 yrs old and concerned...
|March 21 2016, 7:42 AM |
I was your age when I started trying to conceive. My FSH had tested at 10 and my AMH was .4. It was difficult, took 2 IVF tries (one where I flew to CCRM), and finally resulted in my DD. I started trying again when she was 1. I ended up doing multiple IVF cycles and ended up conceiving at 37 years old after a cancelled cycle. My second time around was much harder, and I basically ended up having a second child because I was lucky. My FSH after I had my daughter had skyrocketed to 32. Not a lot of time had passed really, but my fertility took a huge turn for the worse. My point with telling this is to let you know that you must be very proactive--especially if you want to have more than 1 child.
If this is the guy for you and you aren't ready to start a family yet, then you could do frozen embryos, but that is a huge risk if things don't work out (they have better success rates than frozen eggs).
I personally think the better option is to freeze your eggs, even though I understand it may seem financially undoable. At the time I had my first IVF, it seemed the same way, and I ended up going through 2 cycles, both at very expensive clinics. I took out loans. It seemed crazy to spend so much money that I had to take out loans for just for a chance at achieving a pregnancy, but I thought it was worth it. Even after I had tried multiple times for a second child and spent a ton of money and had literally $50,000 in loans and had not achieved success, I still felt it was worth it just to know I had done all I could. Taking out loans is possibly an option, but you have to look at whether or not you would feel like I did if you don't end up having a successful pregnancy or if you would resent spending the money. If it is the latter, I would not do it. If you do decide to freeze your eggs, make sure you research the clinics success rates with frozen eggs. All clinics are not created equal. I believe, but am not sure, that CCRM has the best rates for frozen eggs.
I would have your AMH tested to give you a better idea of the position you are in fertility wise. One FSH reading is not enough because it is just so variable. At one point, after my FSH had tested 32, it actually tested 5 (without an elevated estrogen reading--estrogen can suppress FSH). I have been told your fertility is only as good as your worst FSH reading.
Re: Fertility awareness testing: 32 yrs old and concerned...
|March 22 2016, 5:36 PM |
New direction Fertility Clinic in Mesa Arizona does egg freezing for $1,000.