I was sitting at a buai market in front of my house in a surburb in the Nations capital City. It was as afternoon about 3pm when school kids are returning home from school. Those city residents who make their living from the informal markets and side street stalls are busy selling their wares.
As is usual for Port Moresby, those of us unemployeds sit around and chew buai, light up a mutrus or pall mall red/green and tell yarns to pass the time.
A few houses up from where I was sitting, we could observe a man beating up a woman. Well, the passers-by tells us that it must be a husband and wife fight. Those of us at the buai stall didn't give much thought, as we thought the fight would soon be over and they would make up and go home.
After, spending about two kina on buai I sort of had enough and was standing up to leave and go back into my house, when I noticed that the man was still at it, beating the woman with clenched fists and booting her as she sat on the roadside. As a womans rights advocate and as a campaigner of "Noken Paitim Meri" in the eighties, (I had sinced moved on to other work and interests) I couldn't stomach this wanton display of cruelty and disregard for the dignity of a woman. I walked up to this fierce looking man and asked him to stop what he is doing. I told him that what you are doing is criminal. I will call the police and you can be charged. Before I could say all this the man charged at me, short of laying his hands on me, he said, "what business is it to you? Mind your own business! I said you are beating this woman in a public street and you are doing this near my residence, so its my business to tell you to stop. I saw that his attention is fully swithced onto me, and all passers-by are stopping to see whats going on, so I felt I will take him on, so I stood my ground and said, men like you think you are heros when you take your frustrations out on women by beating them up. Dont you see the awareness campaign going on in PNG about noken paitim meri?
When my neighbours came out to check me and find out whats happening, the man realise he is wrong, and he explained that the woman was his mother, and the mother had not paid for his school fees so that is why he is beating her up. I said, you are a grown man, should the mother be still resposible for your school fee? You look to me like you are 30 plus years! and anyway, is there a father who should be resposible for your school fee? THe man says I am studying to be a doctor, and without the school fee I cannot finish my studies! Understood but is beating up your mother brutally on the streets of Port MOresby the answer to your problem??
Em nau, just want you PNGWomen scapers to share this story, and tell me what you think. With all the campaign against domestic violence, and call for a just and peacefull society, are we making progress or not?
I can't believe what I read here.... but I am so amazed that such an "idiot" if I shuld call him, would beat his mother. I applaued you for standing up to such non-sense....!!
Beating your own mother... even your own father is the most disgraceful thing another human being could do to another. It hurts me so... to think that this particular guy does not love his mother nor father to do such things to them. I could not stand and watch someone beat my mother.... if ever someone would... I'd swear I would murder that person... regardless of how learned I am.
I still have not forgotten about a beating my dad got from my uncle (mum's brother) when I was only a kid. I love my parents so much and if anyone should lay a finger on them.... this is the last day of their slimmy life!!
This idiot of a man needs nothing else but a really good beating to learn about respecting his Parents. Those are the people that raise you and fed you... love you and even clothe you... even now.. they still break their backs just to make ends-meet and buy tinned fish and rice.
MN,been following yr postings for some time....you definitely are a great woman leader even in yr thoughts and you go by the example. I believe if we stand up for our friends, neighbours and speak out, we will help to put a stop to this 'women abuse', and I applaud you for being a woman (yes, a woman) with a heart to stand up to this 'uncivilised idiot' - we can't draw a line on educated men (as in the case of this student dr) and say they are different, it is only when they are raised well to respect their fellow sisters and country woman, then only can we say they are different!
By that, I call on all women(esp mama blo ol pikinini man) to stand up in full force to teach our SONS to be different (basic life skills starts at home)....we make a start now so our daughters and daughter in-law will be respected.
MN, yu trupela meri!!!!
Hi it truly touched my heart that u stood up for this woman. It saddens me that there are a very few ppl who do stand up for our ladies. As a woman who has experienced being abused by my partner I say thank you. When I was living in Png no one stood up for me and when i tried to stand for myself i was only beaten down not even my family would help me. It came to the point where i moved overseas leaving the one precious thing i hold dear to me. I do not think i might ever return back to PNG but hope one day the men of our country will change. I Would very much love to be friends with you and you can email me on the following address firstname.lastname@example.org. I am genuine and true.
Thanks, for the emcouraging words. We all can show disapproval of such behaviour by some small actions on our part. I am not the only one, there are other men and women who hold themselves out openly to challenge men and in some instances too, women, who resolve their differences though violence.
In Port Moresby, lots of money has been spent on awareness and TV adv ertisments about "Noken Paitim Meri" yet this agression is played out on the streets of Port Moresby daily olsem em normal ya, (as if it's normal).
Sister Lewa, check your email.
Thank you for this story. Most of us would not stand up to an aggressive person like that. It takes exceptional courage to do that.
I teach at the School of Medicine and the school has over the last couple of years enforced a zero tolerance policy for gender based violence, even if it has taken place off campus.
If that person was indeed a medical student and the story was reported to the school authorities with adequate proof, that student would would be facing the disciplinary committee and the penalty is usually exclusion for a year and then repeating on the basis of having received appropriate counselling.
Hmmm well!..personally i don't like advicing on this kind of issues.Sometimes its really hard to convince a person that they are wrong esp if theres alot of strong imotions involve
I believe its wrong but its a waste of energy to convince the culprits involve.The mum has to make a solid stand here.She blows the first wistle.we can help but its the mother who has to take the first bold step.maybe she needs more time to figur out how strong her possitive contributions can be.
right now all we can do is be her freind,support and understand her challenge..Peace Out
We (the likes of MN or umi) are the voice for the ones who cannot speak up, it's not wasted energy - yumi pasim maus bai nogat samting senis i kamap and such treatment to mothers or woman will continue......we stand up, speak out and fight against it..so again, MN, thanks for standing up for this simple mama.
well generally not all boys beat the poop out of the mommies.I hav a family of brothers and we hardly touch woman unless they try to beat us silly.then we kick their little sorry esses cause now they've gone beyond gender..Plus a lady who does that is messed up up there in the control tower.
And any mothers out there who has been assulted by their pathatic sons ..sorry.But you can't blame all guys.So mommy beaters out there be warn mommy and aunty won't protect you any more.And i agree with that idea..Peace Out
My goodness...So much for an intellect...does he have any form of love or respect for his mother.
Beating up a woman...especially your mother is more than insanity...
It will not solve anything...it only worsens the situation..
He has gone below all the levels of Darwinian thoery...thats how i'll rate someone like that...
GOODLUCK TO WHOEVER IS GOING OUT WITH HIM....