ANNOUNCEMENT FOR THE MAYOR AND TOWN CRIER OF GRIMSBY

I, Miss Gwyneth Grimsby, being nominated, selected and crowned by the people of Grimsby, hereby declare that it is my intention to relinquish my crown (albeit that it is made of cheap polypropylene and cost one pound fifty new pence to produce). I have reached my decision due to the fact that Grimsby is dead-end and has a shite football team. I hope that you, Mr. Mayor, and you, Mr. Town Crier, will understand my decision and relieve me forthwith of my duties in order to allow me to carry on my new life with my new-found love, Rutger from Holland. If you can't understand my decision, then tread very carefully, because there will be a brown-paper envelope hitting your doormats with some choice foties inside. Get the drift? See you both around.

Signed.......Miss. G. Grimsby (ex-beauty queen)