I stared at my alarm clock from my bed. It flash 12:00 on and off. Trixy layed at the foot of my bed sleeping soundly. I sat up and yawned. "Lunch time, how bout pancakes" i muttered to the air. I walked into the kitchen and found some microwaveable pancakes in the freezer i threw four in and set them for a minute. The timer buzzed and I opened the microwave I grabbed the pancakes. "Hot hot hot"I said i put them in a paper towel and then i put brown sugar and butter on each one. I sat on the couch and watched the TV in the dark with a sigh. "I hate them" i thought. More tears slipped down my cheeks.
I stepped out of the truck and let Trixy out of the bed. she trotted beside me as we went to go see magic. I opened the door he nickered to me. "Hey boy" i sighed. he nosed me searching for treats. "I can't afford treats" I said lamely. He pressed his soft nose on my neck and rubbed it with his whiskers. I giggled slightly. "cut it out," I said . I bent over and begaan to take off his hackles. He pranced in his stall. I patted his neck and grabbed my saddle and bridle. I tacked up and then we went on a trail ride.
The ride was peaceful. Trixy trailed ahead and I sat atop Magic and let him follow her. "If there was one thing i could change about my life it'd be my family" I said to Magic. He listened intently. "Mike knew i was about to start...." I stopped. "I mean come on I would not ever do that on purpose" I sobbed. Magic stopped and let me cry. I leaned forward on his neck and hugged him. "You are such a good boy" I sobbed. I turned Magic around and called out to Trixy she burst through the bushes and ran ahead. I charged Magic into a canter we jumped each long that came our way. Evergreen finally came into view. I slowed Magic down and dismounted I walked slowly back to the barn and when i arrived i untacked Magic and let him out in a paddock while i mucked out the stall. "HEy" someone said I turned and looked at my cousin. "Hey" I murmered. "I heard that you'd be coming here" mindy said looking at the ground. "what do you want mindy?" I said trying to smile, trying my hardest not to cry. "Well...I....Do you want to talk about it?" she said finally. I looked at her. I stared at her perfectly straight brown hair, her beautiful almond eyes, her tan skin and those freckles that were in the right amount so she didn't look like a five year old. I felt my heart swell and my eyes explode into a million tears. "I do!" I walked over to her. She hugged me tightly.
"It was a rainy day and i was at Mikes house and he suggested...that we... you know." I looked at her shaking. Here I was in her perfect home where she and her husband lived with their pefect family, it wasn't fair. "I know" she whispered. "Well i told him i couldn't because i was about to start my period, and he kept pressuring me and stuff" I stopped and wiped my eyes. "UH huh" mindy whispered. "Well he got up to get some drinks...like a coke and stuff. Well he came back and handed my drink and i took a sip and then another..." I trailed off. It was hard to remember the rest. "i don't remember much else except when i woke up i was in his bed and fully clothed. But the next week i skipped and i skipped the next and so on...and then i took a test and what was i supposed to do Mindy?" I bbegan to weep in her embrace. "it's okay" She murmered. "YOU're going to get through this" She rocked me. "You don't understand" I began again. "My parents don't believe me. They don't trust my good judgement! They're too caught up in hating eachother to trust their daughter and blaming eachother for this" i touched my stomach. A baby sounded an alarm for help. "Just a second" she murmered.
I stared aaround at her perfect house, there were dozens of pictures in her bedroom. Pictures of Sharon, Bryan and the kids, family photos, pictures of us when we were kids. I wiped my eyes and stood up. mindy came in with her little daughter, she'd be as perfect as her mother someday. "I better get going" i said saving myself" She nodded silently. I walked out the front door aand drove home.
I stared aat the phone and at a picture of Michal. Trixy whined. "Hi Mike it's Zoe, guess what. YOu're going to be a Daddy" i said rehearsing the line over and over and over again. I picked up the phone and dialed the familiar number. "hello?" his deep voice sounded. "Hey it's me" i whispered. "hey ZO!" he sounded excited. "I called your house but they said you left." he sounded concerned. "I did" i said trying not to cry. "What?" " you're going to be a Daddy" i said. "I---No---oh" he stammered. "YOU know when you raped me....you remember three months ago" I said whimpering. "Oh, zoe, listen i'm sorry" "Sorry? Sorry doesn't cut it" i said curtly. "I know" he muttered. "Do you want me to keep the baby and allow you to raise it? Or abortion or adoption" I said. "What? zoe it's your kid" "It's got half of your DNA" I hissed. "yeah but it's in your body" "Grow up Michal and when you do give me a call because I can't really afford a doctor" and then i hung up. I fed Trixy and went to the bathroom and threw up some more.
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