Hi.. I'm way too depressed, and have been for too long, that's why I come here for advice from you guys.. here's my story:

I had a long distance relationship for more than a year. We had been friends for a long time, and I always knew I could hold feelings for him, but since it ws a long distance thing, I never thought of it as possible. One night, he ws depressed because his previus relationship hadn't worked out, so out of desperation he started saying how great we would be etc. That conversation developed into more.. and we ended up in a relationship.

I always felt jealous of her previous girlfriend because when we started, he still had feelings for her. She looked for hm several times, and he never truly closed the door for her, even though he told me he was just being polite, was very much in love with me and didn't think of her that way at all.

She was always my weak point, I'm a very insecure person and he knows that...

About two months ago, he ended things with me. He said that he coulend't bare the distance anymore, and that it was too stressing gathering money to see each other and such.

And then he started seeing her again, which destroyed me. My confidence is at it's lowest and I don't know if I lived a lie with him or not.

I just want to know what's going to happen to me. He tells me he still has feelings for me, that he knows he's making a mistake and is going to regret it someday.. but still carries on with this girl.. I don't know why he likes her... she is very reserved with him, I don't think there's a true connection there...

I don't know what to do anymore, I still hold hope in my heart that he is going to come back to me, but I know it's an irrational hope, and that I'm being masochistic.

there's also a guy that I liked before I liked him... that to this day makes him jealous still... He's a classmate, we're friends... and I like him, but I don't know what he thinks of me, he's very ambigous, sometimes I think there might be something there.. other times not.. it's all very confusing for me right now.

I'm terrified, and that's why I'm writing here. I just want to know if I'll find love someday I'm a very lonely person, the kind that has troubles showing what's really inside of me... I'm scared of being alone forever, once, a mentalist saw a pic of me, and said "she's very lonely" (I wasn't there... my friends told me )..

I don't want to be alone forever, and I can't help but t think that that's waht's going to happen to me.. because if a person who said who loved m beyond life is doing this to me... I don't think if anyone will love me for me, ever, I seriously doubt it ...and I'm scared please help me...

thanks...


p.s: sorry for any grammar mistakes! english is not my native languaje.

my name is javiera, and his name is victor

Javiera try and give this some time .What I get is that he did still have some feelings for her and they had unfinished business that is partly the reason he returned to her .And the other reason is that she was actually there where he was and you where not even though it wasn't your choice.He found comfort and caring with you and will likely turn to you again in the future.Should you let
him? Probly not ?
Not that he didn't care about you at all he did care but because he cared more about himself and having his needs meet and his own feelings and he should have considered yours more .It was not fair to you at all.He is being selfish and you need a partner that is going to care about you enough to think about your needs & feelings first .Granted relationships like that are hard to find but are worth everything and every minute that it takes to find them.
You don't want just anybody dear you want the right guy someone that will care as much about you as you do about them.
It is always painful to be involved in a relationship where things are not balanced ,where you love & care more than the other person.
Sometimes you are going to be lonely waiting for the right person but you know what they are worth the wait and you deserve to have a happy healthy balalnced relationship.
Just because this didn't work out for you doesn't mean you do not have value as a person just that he didn't see your value.
But there will be someone that see's you for you and realizes ...hey I better not let this wonderful girl get away ! And that is the guy you are waiting for. Don't you think he is worth the wait ? Your idea guy is out there why not give him a chance to show up and sweep you off your feet with how diffrent he is from all the others.
I beleive that you will find him and he will find you because you are both already looking for each other , it is just a matter of time !
The Universe already knows your wants, needs & desires ...send a message to the universe ask that he be sent your way !You can bring him too you ...be open to the process and call this perfect for you man to you !His heart beats one with yours ,he is your split apart so he always just a heartbeat away even if he is across the world he will hear the call.Focus on drawing him home to you !Meditate on this calling him to you,light your white & Pink candles make and offering to the universe of flowers and water make this a daily ritual till you bring him to you.

I hope this helps !
Love & Light,
Deborah Anna