OK, here's my first thread. I've been thinking about this and it's relative to my situation at the moment about being single again and needing some male attention. Going back into the dating world, in other words.
The eternal question: when is that the right time to start dating again?
I am now three months without a man and all I want is someone who I can do to what I want when I want, let's say to 'satisfy my needs' clears throat So, what to do?
So, what are your opinions people about when to start dating again?
So, start throwing your ideas, stories and theories at me. I promise I'll listen and be nice.
OK, Adam may have been created first but where would he have been without Eve?
*reading ....
then re-reading grey being’s post again*
Well one thing I’ll say right from the start grey ... and that’s that you’re honest!!!
Wow .... that’s a rare commodity these days and should be treasured by anyone lucky enough to know you my friend.
Next .....
Forgive me here but ......
I’m a bit confused and I need you to clarify it for me ... K???
Are you asking when is the “right” time to start dating / looking for a new relationship???? ..... after your failed relationship????
Or are you asking “when’s” the right time to go out and satisfy particular ... erm .... needs???
Because I think there’s a Huge difference between the two!!!
A loving relationship can and probably will take care of ALL your needs, but Can’t be rushed into!!
There’s No right ... or wrong time ... only a right ... or wrong person.
On the other hand .... fulfilling needs??? .... erm .... sexual needs????
If that’s all your interested in grey .... then let me seriously and honestly recommend a drawer full of toys!!!
They are a lot less messy ... they move willingly at your beck and call ... they won’t break your heart ... there’s NO chance of sexually transmitted disease ... and most important ... there’s No chance of an unwanted pregnancy!!!
I don’t know my friend ....
I’m no doubt the wrong person to ask about such things as I’m pretty old fashioned when it comes to sex.
In the grand scheme of things ... I think a good ... steady relationship is by far the More important.
What does everyone else think????
Char???? ... What about you Sweetpea???
Any advise or opinions here???
Thanks for the interesting topic grey ...
((((((((((((you))))))))))))
To be honest, I'm not quite sure what I was saying. I guess I was asking for everybody's opinion of both situations.
I respect your traditional values but as people's views about sex, living together (unmarried) and relationships I thought I'd venture the point and ask how would you cope being single and in need of some physical contact?!
Maybe love is more important and the physical aspect should follow after marriage but my generation has seen more young unmarried girls having children and using this to get council houses for themselves, their children and often a male partner (not always the father but a current partner: it is very common here in Ireland. Often couples move into mobile homes, with two or three kids and apply to the county council for a flat... It's outrageous as far as I'm concerned but it happens!)
So, what do you think now? There are always other factors involved which often complicate the matter. But, my original question should have been: how long after a medium-to-long term relationship should one go looking for another relationship/partner? 3 months, 6 months, a year?
I made an error too when I started this thread: it is actually my second thread. (I posted onr to you and Char to say 'Thank you' for the group e-mail! Oops... LOL)
Anyway, tell me what you think people. I'm waiting for your opinions!
If you’ve been seriously seeing someone ...
Especially if you really felt as though you were in love with that person .... Even in the best of circumstances ... breaking up will have been a traumatic experience!!!
Make sure that you’ve given yourself enough time to get over the hurt and pain before you start dating again grey being.
You need to be especially attuned to your own inner voices.
Only you are really going to know “what’s right” and “when it’s right”
So you’ll need to be sensitive about entering the dating scene.
Be your own best friend!!
Have long serious ... very honest, chats with yourself about your needs and desires, and what didn’t work the last time.
If it didn’t work the first time around .... it’s not going to work the second or third time either!!!
Don’t be afraid to change!!
For some reason ... we humans are guilty of making harmful patterns for ourselves, which we hardly realize we’re in at all ... let alone that we keep repeating them time, and time again!!
Be careful out there grey!!!
And know that I very genuinely care about you!!
(((((((((((((You))))))))))))
Be well .... be happy ...
Walk in balance and light!!!
Ok. Moulin Rouge nicked this line from the bohemian movement in Paris, but it's one I've always tried to believe in. (Imagine it being said by a short but talented poster artist, and not Ewin Macgreggor).
"The greatest thing you shall learn, is to love, and be loved in return".
You aren't meant to find the "right" time to fall in love. Love will find you. Life leads you to some one, and slowly you build the confidence to speak, to like, and fall in love over them.
Then again I'm not exactly Prime-Dating-Material, but I'm happy enough waiting to know that the time is right to follow my heart, and not try and force it to follow my...er... urges.
I know you care about me! It means a lot, believe me.
Anyway, you will never believe it, but I was asked out... Someone who likes me as I am wants to go out with me. I'm trying not to be too excited but I can't help it.
Thanks everyone for all the advice. I really appreciate it, truly I do! Good friends and good advice can sometimes be hard to come by when you really need them/it.
So, I said yes and we are planning to arrange a day someday soon so I will come back and fill you in on how it went. How does that sound?
I'm not looking for a relationship... It's been four months since my last boyfriend and I split and although I have just started to feel a bit lonely I am not going to expect too much from this. Some male company will do for the time being.
Grey,
My opinion on the subject is that you will know when its rite to date again and want to love someone. As a person that just went through that I know how you feel. My g/f and I were split up for 3 months and should be getting back together but thats another story. While we were apart I wondered when was a good time too start dating myself and truthfully the only one that can answer that is you. We all react different to getting over someone when we lose them and wonder when can we forget about them and things w/o being reminded of them. All I know is it takes time for that and you should look around in case someone does catch your eye and makes your heart pound. You might not love them right off and might take a while but you will be able to as long as honest w/ that person.
As far as your needs well guess the answer can be on eof 2 things can get private things for that or could possible find someone that likes one-nite stand or no committments at this point but thats up to you. Either way I hope this might help
Hey There Roadrunner!!!!!
Where ya been ya big bird you!!!!!
((((((((((((((((RR))))))))))))))
I’ll tell you this mister ....
When you post ... it’s a good one!!!
Thanks for taking the time here to share with all of us.
We appreciate you bunches!!!
Yes, I know I posted the thread but there has been a delay on that certain supposed update. The guy who asked me out has not been in touch again to confirm a day for us to meet up and get to know each other... Oh errr. We did speak on-line (for the first time last Saturday night) on MSN but as yet he hasn't been in touch. No text, no phone call, no e-mail!! I'm beginning to wonder, hesitate and become cautious as he has not been very forward with too many of his personal details. For another, as interested as he sounds I don't think he's interested ENOUGH!!
I will be on my Mid-Term Break next week and we had agreed (after he asked me out for the second time, I might add) that we would make arrangements for then. The problem here is I only have his e-mail address, some general info and that's it. Meanwhile, he has my mobile phone number, my e-mail address and has had plenty of time to pick up the phone and confirm and arrange something. I'm beginning to doubt him. I know, I know. I will probably be reporting back here next week about an amazing date and an amazing guy but I'm not holding my breath, not just yet... He has the time, I only hope he has the inclination. (I've been good: I've given him his own space, not bothered him, followed him or pestered him...)
So, there you have it! You asked and I answered!! :-|
I'll update you next week, only if there is something to present... LOL To the board, of Dove and Char!! LOL Bye bye.
Whats time???we only get older not younger???so don't waste it..the only thing you must be sure about is what you want and let the other party know what you want...its called HONESTY..grey your not the type(going by your posts..i'm guessing)to hurt people so you feel better about your failed relationship..some people go out just for that reason, lead people on then use them, then goodbye them..who win's..nobody..
so if your after a one niter and live in Ozzyland let me know..never had one but willing to learn..i hope you find what you want when you want it..if your true to yourself...the truth is seen by all.
Thanks for adding your view from a male’s perspective.
Let me see now .....
Yup .. it’s true ... none of us are getting any younger are we??
That is unless there’s some scientific miracle out there that no one’s shared with ME yet. ...
So I agree that we should not waste our days.
But Bono my friend .....
Wouldn’t you agree that chasing about after this chatter and that chatter, because he (or she) seems like a catch ... is a real waste of not only time .. but just as important ... emotion???
And unlike time which just marches on whether you are wasting it or not ... If we spend our emotion foolishly ... it costs us the time in which we spend recovering.
That is .. if we really recover.
Because I’m thinking that maybe each unsuccessful attempt to find a Mr or Ms Right ...
Leaves us with some kind of emotional scar ( even if it’s just a little one ) ... which no doubt changes our perceptions of the next person we run into.
I absolutely agree with you that “Honesty” is ... and always has been the key to successful relationships.
Well ... honesty and communication that is.
And if you don’t “start” out with “honest” communication ... from the very beginning ....
Well .... don’t you ruin your chances of ever being able to be honest anywhere else down the line??
But .....
One night stands???
erm .....
I want to be sure I know what we're talking about here.
So ... a ....
What is that exactly???
Your words grey being ---> I'm beginning to wonder, hesitate and become cautious as he has not been very forward with too many of his personal details. For another, as interested as he sounds I don't think he's interested ENOUGH!! <---
I’d have to agree with you my friend .....
He doesn’t sound very sincere or honest to me.
More like a tom cat who was just out for a pit of a prowl.
He obviously is not all that serious about meeting you and that’s His Loss!!!
You just keep on being cautious grey.
The right guy is out there somewhere .... he’ll be along when you least expect it I’m sure.
I’m curious grey being ....
When you are chatting to someone new ...
Say a guy you’ve only just met on line ... what is it about “one” that draws you more then another???
And grey??????
If you could describe the guy that’s perfect for you ....
What would that description be???
In answer to your question: I've been out with a few guys I've met on-line and those relationships, unfortunately, have ended badly! But what attracted me to them in the first place was their, here it comes, "honesty", friendliness, sense of humour and how they interacted/reacted to others in the chatroom. A friendly personality is great but if he can make me laugh, then that's even better. I like having intellectual chats with guys. And, I also like sports so that helps too. And I love music. Once we have extablished an obvious link then we keep in regular contact until we decide to meet up.
The same would apply, Dove, whether I met the guy on-line or in person. I like an attractive guy, one who is smart, handsome, generous, friendly, has an outgoing personality and a very good sense of humour.
Physically, I like blue eyes and blond/brown hair. Glasses show intelligence. (as well as long or shoer sighedness LOL) A nice bum works for me too, so does a nice smile. I could go on forever on appearance Dove. I'd say it's not very important but sometimes even I can be vain and get carried away by his looks and charms.
I hope I have answered your questions. And, anyone, if you know a guy who sounds like anything I've described here, then feel free to send him my way!! LOL
internet dating ok, ive hada few, one or too absolutly a bit on the strange and very possesive side, icant handle being possesed, i never cheat etc, but i wont be owned by no one. but i do love care and am very affectionate, also the fact i got dark hair blues eyes and im blinking gourgous helps (my bum) was seeing a lass a few months ago i met of the net and i fell big time, and as per normal in my life , she ripped the living crap out me, trying to make out i hada mental problem. the lass im with now had the same problem and you want to know what a mental problem was, were both insecure and frightened of being hurt. but some heartless Ba**rds out there think it nice to try and make you think you got a problem.
anyway, that aside, i still want to be loved, and cared for, but im after a specail kind of person, casue i love animals and love being with them, make some folk now adays think your sad and pathetic, but lucky at the moe im seeing a lass who love them as much as me.
but if you get a date go for do what yer heart tells you but dont let yer guard down till they prove themselves. way i look at it now is every one a bas**d till proven other wise and if you can prove your not ,you'll get my heart. i know that sounds shallow but i have to protect myself, casue being hurt agian, aint an option and i aint going down that road again.
right im out of here, takecare all and be good happy dateing and remember, got halfers on everything then, no one gets taken advantage off ok. but if your a bloke always by flowers etc, nothing better than seeinga lassie smile.
A one nite stand is when you do it then leave..say your going to call but never do..well thats what i've been told and read about this subject..now all i have to do is put all this theory and reseach work into practice..then i'll let you know if its true or not..lol
I had a one night stand (last January) and I do not recommend it to anyone... I'm so lonely (and a but sad these days). I miss having male company but I wouldn't do that again!! EVER!!!
Well, I was called 'spur of the moment' last Thursday (20th February) by the guy I have been telling you about: who asked me out!!
We met for lunch, chatted like we had known each other for years, spoke about sex... An hour later he left me home and I haven't heard from him since! (No, we did not sleep together!)
I think I was too forward in telling him how I felt about him so somehow, I don't think I will be hearing from him again any time soon! :'-(
I was on-line on Sunday and a guy I know (we met in a chatroom: WorldIndex, I think) and we have been in touch by e-mail for some time now; it must be over a year now and he told me that he loves me. He's 27. He's really nice and sweet but the trouble is he lives in Algeria (yes, he is an Algerian!) Trouble is, regardless of the distance and our on-line friendship I don't feel the same way about him...
~ reading along here with definite heartfelt worry and concern ~
Ohhhhhhh my gawwwwd grey!!!!
THAT Definitely was NOT the kind of update I was looking for!!!
Sheeeeeeeeeeeeesh gurlie!!
Okies ..... give me a day to think on this one .... (((((((You))))))
You’re breaking my heart here gurlie!!
That’s a one night stand???
erm ..... thanks for the info. .... I think.
Well from a females perspective ...
Here’s me thinking that a “one night stand” sounds foolish, and hurtful, and maybe even pretty dangerous.
Trying to think of it from a guys point of view ....
hmmmmm ......
Well honestly it just sounds thoughtless and selfish!!!
So tell me .....
In a “One Night Stand” scenario ..... does anyone really win???
Well that all depends on what you want out of a one nite stand, usually you want..No commitment..to relieve body and sexual tension..good old fashion or new wave roll it the hay..as i say you only get out of it, what you but into it..lol..so providing both male and female got out of it, what they wanted in the "stand" i would say they both were the winners..because winners are grinners..lol..but safety must be the first thing taken care of because nine months later there wont be toooo many grinners...lol
~Dove's World Wide Clock~
*reading .... 
I'm beginning to wonder, hesitate and become cautious as he has not been very forward with too many of his personal details. For another, as interested as he sounds I don't think he's interested ENOUGH!!
~ reading along here with definite heartfelt worry and concern ~
Bono dear .....