In my opinion, as a woman who was adopted at birth, it’s not blood that’s thicker then water, it’s love that’s thicker then blood. I am not a fan of the show, Who’s Your Daddy? even if I am able to identify with the woman on the show who was searching for her biological parents. My main reason for disliking this show is because it’s exploitative and in that special Fox way, makes a mockery of something very personal.
This is my tale of adoption…My biological father may have helped give me life, but my Dad gave me a life. My Dad is the man who worked double shifts and extra part time jobs to allow me to have a life with no limits and every opportunity that I could take advantage of. It was my Dad not my “father” who paid for ballet lessons and piano lessons and it was my Dad who came home, exhausted, after working 16 hours and still had the energy and compassion to sit with me as I hovered over the commode, holding my hair back as I was sick from the flu. It was my Mom and Dad to sat with me that night until the fever broke and I finally fell asleep. It was my Dad who taught me to play soccer, helped put me through college and gave me the confidence to know that I could be anyone I wanted to be. HE cried at my high school graduation and HE walked me down the aisle with tears in his eyes on my wedding day. It was my Dad, the man who raised me, not my Father. And it was my Dad who withstood the challenges in life and made me the woman I am today.
I have grown to know and love my biological father. I was in my late teens when I met my birth parents and they are wonderful, loving people with whom I have a relationship with to this day. They are part of my life and I know they always will be, but my Dad is the man who would have sacrificed everything for me and he did just that. You don’t get to be a Dad by accident, you have to earn it.
I take offense to Who’s Your Daddy period, but their referring to TJ’s biological father as her Dad made my stomach turn. As someone who has admired Finola’s work for many years now, I am a bit saddened that she chose to take this crooked road to reality TV at this point in her career. Perhaps if the show were produced giving some respect to adoptive parents, it would be more tolerable, but even though I have felt what TJ was feeling and have struggled with the same never-ending questions and curiosities that she must have had growing up, I still could not accept this show as something worthwhile of 90 minutes of my very busy life. I hope those words spoken by Finola, “Blood is Thicker then Water” don’t come back to haunt her some 20-some years down the road.
E. Clement, M.D.
Posted on Jan 10, 2005, 2:16 PM from IP address 66.163.141.100