Did you ever feel that MM sees/saw parts of you that nobody else had seen, or that he showed you parts of yourself that nobody else had access to? Or that he "woke up" something that had been dead for a long time?

Did he ever say something similar to you?

The best way that I have found to describe this is colors. Before I met and loved MM I knew only a certain set of colors, both bright wonderful colors and dark scary colors. My spectrum was limited. I talked with people who seemed to describe more colors than I knew...maybe the were just describing them differently I thought....how could they see more than I did...it was finite and based in what is...right?

Well, after loving MM the world of colors (emotions) opened up. I experienced both the amazingly bright wonderful colors and the deep dark endless scary colors.

Now, I could never go back to only knowing that one set of colors. I would always miss the "enhanced" spectrum I know with MM.

We both had ok lives. Worked. Paid bills. Lived our lives. But neither had PASSION! FUN! EXCITEMENT!SOMEONE TO PLAY WITH. And NOW we do.

He is in an ok marriage. Married 9 yrs. No kids. They are friends. He works all the time. She does what she wants. No reason to change anything, both ok with status quo.

THEN we meet. He never put out vibes he would do anything. He was just a regular guy in a regular marriage. But after a couple of years I could see that he was lonely, neglected, unloved and certainly not having HOT sex.

I was a sexually abused child. Had had a couple of long term relationships. But have serious trust issues with men.

But not with MM. Felt SO SAFE with him. I'm sure because he is married.I knew he would never leave her, so it made it safe for me to persue a fun, sexual thing with him. I chased him. Took a long time but he finally came around.

I had not been sexually active for years but he came along and I want sex 5 times a day every day. Don't get it but hey it keeps things interesting. LOL

He is so smart also. I love talking to him. I said to him...WOW...a man I want to talk to and F$#k.

So we both were at the same place...needing someone to play with us. We BOTH shook the other one out of their safe little box.

In some ways yes, i believe so. I believe htat in many ways, i had different friends for different parts of mee. Rarely can somebody be exposed to the full picture. I could tell friend A about certain parts of me that i couldnt tell friend B, yet there were parts of me i knew friend B would never understand that i could tell friend A.

It was like i divided myself amongst my friends throughout my life. No one person ever was shown each and every part of me.

Until MM came along. Every piece fit. I could show him every part of me, tell him about everything, and not be concerned.

Thats the best i can describe it. Yes in many ways he molded and shaped me and my personality, but i was alwas the same person, it was never a "new" part of me... it was finally jst the "whole" me.

Rain...

He gave me a sense of peace and comfort that I've never felt with anyone before. I have always been "out of place", even in my own home. I've always felt like a stranger, even with my parents, brother, husband. But with MM I'm where I'm suppose to be. It's restful and right.

He says he's told me things that he's never shared with anyone else.

He says he discovered a need that he didn't know he had, until he got involved with me. I showed him a profoundly intimate way of relating during sex that led to excursions into unbelievable eroticism and self-discovery. We both became addicted to it; we're each other's holy grail of erotic intimacy.

At the other end of the spectrum... I have had to stand up to him and stand my ground in a way I have never had do before with anyone else. I learned what it was to crawl, and what it took to rise again and make him deal with me as an equal. The experience is unique in my life, no one else has seen me fall to the ground that way and then get up without having to end the relationship to do it.

We worked together in a pretty intense environment for about a year and a half b/f the EMR started. Niether of us handed out respect easily, but we earned it from each other almost immedietly. We were simply on the same wavelength all the time. We were each others safety nets, no matter what. It was unlike either of us to rely on someone at work that way, but we did it almost innately. THAT was certainly something that no one had inspired in me before at work. I knew that as long as I was doing what I thought was right, he'd be in my corner ~ and visa-versa. And that if I messed up, he'd be the first to help me fix it.

Our friendship and trust grew out of that working relationship. There was nothing that I'd hold back from him ~ good or bad. He was and is a pretty closed off person, but he opened up to me just enough to show me that he valued me as a co-worker and as a friend. We evolved into this incredible team. We worked together on everyhing. No matter what our primary responsibility was, we had an eye on each other, too.

It was the first time that I consiously let someone help me and take care of me. I'm a total control freak. I could let down all my defenses ~ and it didn't feel scary. It felt totally safe. He did the same thing. The man that would not accept help when he obviously needed it would come ask me for it, if I hadn't already realized he needed it. He was as safe w/ me as I was w/ him.

All of that was enough to blow my socks off. But looking back, it was the foundation for a very happy EMR. We treated our romantic relationship the same way that we treated our work relationship and friendship. We didn't hold back. We helped each other ~ even when it didn't make sense to. No walls, no barriers. I'd never even come close to having that w/ any other man. Not that it was always good. The thing about not holding back is that the tough stuff and the bad stuff is an on the table as everything else. But even so, we could argue and have a rough time as a couple, but the foundation was there and it was strong.

Out of that, I learned that there were things about me and my personality that I **should** like and nurture. He opened me up and showed me parts of myself that I didn't know were there ~ and those parts were pretty incredible.

I was always amazed at how much of me he knew (co-worker, friend, lover) and how well he knew me. He'd seen me at my absolute best, at my absolute lowest, totally blissful and totally, utterly overwhelmed... he'd seen the full spectrum of me. And he had stayed.

We didn't talk much about it, so I can't say that he'd agree that I saw him in ways that no one else did, but I think that he would.

And now we're getting the chance to see even more of each other. I'm finding out that a lot of this stuff was real. It wasn't just b/c we were having this fantasy. It's really there.

MM definitely brought out a side of me that had been buried under the rubble of a long, mentally abusive M. He made me see myself as I had been before I got married - confident, fun, interesting, strong. He also turned me onto new ways of thinking about the world, to expand my horizons a little. He's certainly not as educated as I am, nor will he ever be - I used to get hung up on things like that - but he taught me how not to be a snob, if that makes any sense. He brought out the side of me that's more accepting of others.

mj

I think he sees parts of me that very few people have seen (I have one close friend and at least one past boyfriend who seem to know me on the same deep level as MM does), and I think he is the only person I've been with to love me for those parts of me rather than merely choosing to "accept" or "deal with" them.

I think I see parts of him that no one else has, but thats only because he's so guarded with everyone. He was abused as a child and has MAJOR trust issues; I suspect that there is NO ONE on earth who knows EXACTLY who MM is, really. His wife and I are the two people to have come the closest, but there is a lot that I know that she doesn't and vice versa. I know that there are at least a few people on this earth, including MM, who know my soul as well as their own, but there is no one that MM could really say that about, including me.

Yes!!! I am very outspoken, aggressive and kind of intimidating to certain people in real life because of my attitude. HE saw straight through my false bravado to the shy insecure side that very few ppl know about. He pushes me to find my hidden depths that I didnt even realized I possessed. I am a firefighter/medic and have always wanted to be a nurse. Never quite got the motivation together to go for it. My guy however, pushed,nagged, pulled and demanded until I agreed to go back to school to finish my RN. I am a certified Rescue and Recover Scuba diver, this was so very foreign and scary to me, but again my guy pushed me and I wnet for it. Its incredible, I have found such new and interesting hobbys AND new and interesting charcter traits within myself, all due to him. When I am scared he will hold my hand but also forces me to deal with my fear and push forward. He is stimulating mentally and I love verbally sparring with him, he keeps my wit sharp and me on my toes. If this R ever fails between us, I will regret not one second of it. He has taught me so much about life, passion and how to love - REALLY love again. I owe him so much for that
STephanie-----Lady_Firfighter

One of the greatest things about our relationship has been our ability to be real with eachother. We know everything about eachother, good and bad, and still love deeply.

I was never good enough for my ex. He let me know that all the time. My lover loved me. all of me.

Absolutely yes!!!

Well let me put it this way he made me acting in ways I have never thought possible - this man was able to bring the worst out of me in no time same as he was able to bring out the most loving and caring person ..

He ..when I met him he was afraid to talk about himself , his thoughts , his ideas ... that had changed ..He was able to talk about his fears , his feelings ...

But ....still wasn't enough

MM allows me to be completely honest with myself and with him. Very few people will tolerate the naked truth. My station in life requires that I smile at times when I don't feel like smiling. People look at me and see wealth, intelligence, beauty, and favor. MM looks at me and sees a free spirited, fun loving young woman. He understands that I must marry my fiance regardless of the fact that I am not in love. With MM I can just be myself. I don't have to put on a show.

MM really opens up when he's with me. He's so concerned with being the ideal husband and loving father, that he isn't able to share his true feelings with his wife or his family. He's said that he has never felt more mentally, emotionally, or physically connected with another person.

Ah that brings memories. The Porch. When we started talking on line, very early on, we both expressed our malaise - our lives are wealthy and settled; nice houses, children, supportive H/W, work we enjoyed but we both felt dissatisfied. We agreed to regularly meet "on the porch" and talk and share a drink - neither inside nor really outside.

He filled a need deep in me for wit and word play. We played so well together. A game no one else can play. We are only really alive when together. He makes me feel sexy and funny and full of energy and truly grown up. I love feeling naughty and wild - it's like being let out to play. I love that he desires me so much. I feel that power and now every man looks at me that way.

He knows everthing about me. No one else knows everything. He is the same with me. He has told me things he's not told anyone and hinted at more that he wanted to share. He is a very shut down and secretitive man and he opened up fully for me and loved doing that. He was so relaxed and natural with me. He wrote to me once " I did not realise it was possible to be so at one and comfortable with another being".

When you find a soul mate who is not someone you have to play a role with: husband, father, workmate, it brings a wonderful freedom. What a shame it's all so forbidden.

I have never known such sexual contentment before my MM. He says he has never felt the things he is feeling now with me. I feel the same. I want to do everything with this man and be everything for him. He says I am the first thing he thinks of when he awakens and the last thing on his mind when he goes to bed. I am 52 and now realizing how life could have and should have been.

I have always been sexually alert, but in control. But, I have to say that my mm (18 years my senior - I am 39) was VERY asleep. When we started having sex his penis was very bent and did not hold an erection for long. 2+ years later, he is stiff, almost straight up and lasts a good and long time. He orgasms alot. Hopefully, since we have ended our relationship, he talks his wife into being intimate with him again. It would be such a waste for him not to continue enjoying a sexually fulfilling life. As for me, I am on the lookout for a GOOD man who can be with JUST me. I refuse to let this encounter influence my next monogamous relationship.

i am a closed booked, very private, controlled person. so, how the hell did he get inside my head and inside my heart, he has opened me up, some of it i like, i feel more relaxed and happy i too see colours. but having opened up you cant then choose what comes out, so i have anger rages, not many, thankfully, but where i used to contain them they are now explosive.
i feel vulnerable, not something i have felt before, nor enjoy, its as if i have come out of a bubble, and if i had to choose between being controlled and this, i would choose this.....