Do you and MM use protection? If so, is it birth control, protection from STDs, or both?

If not, why?

xMM & I never used protection, we didn't even use the "pull out" method, if know what I mean.

Of course it was so stupid.

Why? I did it to feel closer to him.

He had a vasectomy and we didn't have any STDs so there was no need for contraception.

this is funny to think about, it was so long ago.

we actually had meetings of sorts, to start the affair. (it was like a project in more ways than one.) one of the agenda items was birth control. he said, what are we going to do about birth control, and i said i had an iud.

then after the first time we had sex my period was late. by a week and a half. just nerves, but still. i should have taken that as an omen of the hell this would all be, but of course we never heed a direct warning...

years later he had a vasectomy and didnt tell me. he claimed that he had had it done during one of the times we were broken up but i didnt believe it. we were so on again off again, sex, no sex...but i think he really wanted to keep my mind off the fact that he was doing it with his wife all along.

did i talk about more than birth control here?

MM and I used condoms for pregnancy prevention, but have both been confirmed with clean bills of health. He has already made the appointment for a vasectomy since he knows he does not want any more children (he has two). He has always wanted to "feel" me, but knew that was a stupid idea with live sperm and I wasn't about to fall for "I'll pull out in time" even though MM has never suggested that. Even with the vasectomy I am still not 100% sure I do not want us to use condoms anymore, just as a backup, just in case, you know? I would be real upset if he got me pregnant after having a vasectomy....!!!

Fortunately my MM had a vasectomy 11 years ago! No pregnancy worries there! He is 47 and I am 29. We started off using condoms for the first few months or so, but don't anymore; that was almost three years ago. Of course MM said he felt a bit uncomfortable with condoms since he hasn't worn one for over 20 years, being a "happily married" man and all. One day in the shower together, we just went for it and really enjoyed ourselves. We both get regular checkups, are very health conscious, and take care of ourselves. Sure, I was somewhat concerned at first because I had never had unprotected sex, and that was mostly because I was afraid of getting pregnant. MM is third man I have ever had sex with, and the other two were long-term relationships as well. MM says he can tell the difference without a condom on, but it feels the same to me... wonderful.

Pregnancy wasn't an issue since we both had surgery to prevent it before we met. We never used condoms. I trusted him when he told me that his W was the only one he had been with intimately for the last 20 years. As for myself, I had been tested about a year before for my health insurance and was "clean".

We ALWAYS used condoms. He was too freaked out that I would get pregnant. He knew I was safe because he was the one to whom I lost my virginity, BUT I was also on the pill...he was just so paranoid he would get me pregnant.

Our use of BC was very spotty. For years I had to take a reigns on BC.

After a pregnancy scare he was super faithful about buying condoms before me came to my house.

Then on the last night that we were together in the middle of intercourse he slipped the condom off.

Unbeknownst to him I had my diaphram in. I'm no dummy.

Talk about trying to trap someone.

NFP

Natural Family Planning. In my marriage it's worked for 11 years and been using with MM for as long as we've been intimate.

When it was obvious that we were going to get intimate, I went prepared (with a condom)....nothing happened that night but he later told me that he had had the op many years back....so since then no protection.

I'm 45,MM is 46. Both are still fertile. I conceived MM's child once - a long time ago. That's another story.

MM and I both hate condoms; too old for the pill, yet vaginal contraceptive film and careful planning on our 'visits' has been successfull in avoiding impregnation. My ongoing pre-menopause makes it imperitive that I be very vigilent. It would be disasterous if I became impregnated by MM. My H had vastectomy many years ago - hence proof of infidelety if I became 'impregnated'. Very scary stuff....

i use the pill. as for STDs, W gave him one 20 years ago, so we due pay close attention to that and use condoms when there are breakouts.

At the beginning of our A it was so hot and steamy we didn't even have time to think about using condoms! Although I suppose one of use could have planned in advance..lol I think we just trusted each other to be 'clean'.

I was on 'the pill' and had complete faith in that for birth control. Pretty soon however I learned that nothing is 100% and fell pregnant. After a termination I went on the Depo Vera(think thats how you spell it) injection, and after a few uncertain times with late and irregular bleeding, I decided to have my tubes tied.
It was a descission I made by myself, but did it for MM knowing damn well he considered himself too old to have any more children.
I have regretted my descission a couple of times when we've been having dramas with our R, but over all I think it is the best thing that I've ever done.

Now our sex life is not hampered with me worrying all the time

He always told me that he wanted me to be the mother of his children. That was a role I wanted too.

It was never discussed - he assumed I would handle my end (I had - am on the pill) and neither of us insisted on condoms. How naive is that!

Do you and MM use protection?
We didn't.

If not, why?
H and I had been trying to have a baby for years, without success. I was seeing an infertility specialist. I wasn't worried about getting pregnant. MM had not had any previous affairs and I was pretty sure his W hadn't either, so fear of disease was not a factor.

Protected sex, always.

It is one of the things I love about him. He always takes responsibility.

He was 54 when we met, I was 51. At the outset of our affair, and before we were intimate for the first time (4 month gap) I said that I could still get pregnant. He told me he had had a vasectomy. He also told me that he had never had an affair before (he'd been married 34 years) so I was the first woman apart from his wife that he had been intimate with. At the time that he and I met, I was in the final stages of ending my marriage and by the time my MM and I were intimate, I had not had sex for several months. I believe that my ex husband had been faithful to me as I was to him so I was not worried about having unprotected sex with my MM. My MM said he and his wife had stopped having sex a few years before and as far as he knew, she had been faithful to him too, so for him unprotected sex was not a problem.

To be quite truthful, I don't think either of us gave this issue any thought whatsoever - we trusted each other enough to know that if there were any problems re unprotected sex, we would have discussed them before we became intimate.

UNPROTECTED!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fortunately he had a V and had never been with anyone else in 30+ yrs ... so we didn't use protection, which was nice for a change. Now that he's tried having sex with the W again after all these years, I'll make him wear a condom ... that is, IF we have sex again... I'm still not sure I want to again after finding this out. (she started asking for sex a couple of days after finding out about us... not sure what he's thinking)

My tubes are tied, have been since the birth of my last child. No matter what man I was with ( except ex ) I will not have sex without condoms. Even tho my current partner says he hadn't been with anyone but his wife in the last 13 yrs, I still make him use them. Maybe big maybe after time I will let him stop using them.

My tubes are tied, and I told him so, but he chose to use condoms anyway, up until his wife left him (for reasons that had nothing to do with me.) Since she left him he apparently has suddenly become a believer in the effectiveness of tubal ligation because he doesn't bother with condoms anymore.

The way this man processes logic never fails to amaze (and amuse) me.

Unprotected. we were exclusive and trusted each other.

Unprotected.

Used to be on BC pills until they found it could cause serious side affects to me. (had optical migrains while on the pill) Dr took me off them.

Now we just pull out. I am not w/anyone else but him.

Don't see the need for any protection other then pulling out. We already got pregnant once pulling out should be ok for now. We have talked about a vasectomy. He won't do it until I tell him I dont' want kids in the future.

Like JP, I had to be taken off the pill due to severe side effects (I lost my vision). It has also been told to me by my physician that due to an extensive yeast infection I had as a child that it is 98% probable that I am sterile.

MM and I used condoms about the first 5 times we were together. Now, it is Unprotected and he pulls out (not good news for my sheets!). I know that beside "her" and me, there hasn't been anyone else in his life in the past 6 years, so I trust that he is disease free.

At first we were always used condoms. This has been the pattern of all my relationships. Eventually, there would come a time we would be in the heat of the moment and there would be none around. We would end up going without them. After, I would end up taking myself to a clinic to get tested. With MM the test was clear, so now our main form of birth control is the sponge. I will every so often go bad to the clinic to get tested. This has been the pattern of all my relationships. The point has not come where I can give my complete trust to any man I have been with.

We never used protection. In fact we had been sleeping together for six months when he said "Don't get pissed at me for asking this, but you're on something, right?"

This from a surgeon, who is in marriage #2 because he got his nurse who he was having an EMR with pregnant. And who is 18 years older than me.

When OM and I first began having sex we were unprotected using the pull out method. I thought I was pregnant after 2 months ( I was REALLY Late). How stupid am I but while I thought I was pregnant I let myself imagine what it would be like to have a life with OM and be with him and now that I know I'm not pregnant and I got on birth control part of me wants to stop taking it and get pregnant because I want to believe that he would step up to the plate when it counts and be ther for me. Thats the true test you know? But I cant do that to a child, bring it into that uncertainty. Its selfish and unfair, but it is something I think about.

We were unprotected. My H had a V, so when I ended up pregnant, it was the end of my marriage.

It was scary at the time, and I would do things differently if I could because of the pain I caused my exH... But the end result is I was able to leave a marriage that I was miserable in, and I have a gift of a baby boy that will be 1 in April. Still trying to work things out with MM, whose divorce will be final shortly.

MM was extremely impulsive during the beginning of the EMR, and we had unprotected sex - all of my partners have worn condoms since, swear on a stack of bibles, 1989, when AIDS was a big scare. Came to my senses and had "the talk" with MM about the importance of wearing condoms, not only to prevent pregnancy but also to prevent disease. Since then, it's been condoms all the way.

I'm very funny about sharing bodily fluids - it's a very personal thing and gives me the feeling of being close to my sex partner, which is something I don't really want to feel. Even if STDs and pregnancy weren't big factors in my mind, I'd still choose for my partner to wear a condom.

I have had an IUD since the birth of my last child so I've never worried about pregnancy. I played ostrich as far as STD's. I remember the first time we had sex thinking briefly about the expired condoms in my bathroom (!) but that was fleeting. I think I just closed my eyes and hoped it would be okay.

That was five years ago. We've never used condoms.

Stupid I know.

Condoms for birth control &/or std protection was never discussed in the beginning. I am garenteed to be 99.9% infertile so pregnacy was never a worry. I am pasting in the email I sent to my closest girlfriend at the time I went for my HIV test so that everyone can know what it is like when the discussion comes up "after the fact". I apologize for the lengthiness but I hope I strike a chord with those who have not yet "gone there":

""I cannot make the butterflies leave the pit of my stomach. Talking with J (the one) Wednesday night, the subject of safe sex came up--about 7 rolls in the quilt to late, of course. He thought it was really wonderful that we trusted each other enough that first night to "go naked" (no condom).

Now, this guy has been monogamous for the last 12yrs and his Mrs was a 30yr old virgin when they met so he feels he's about the safest guy out there and he's probably right. I'm fairly certain that S (my xH2b) has not been unfaithful, even though he had permission to do so last year and did agree to be safe if he did.

However, thru recent experiences I can tell you that there aren't many people out there practicing safe sex. The subject of condoms has never come up nor have any appeared on any of the nightstands I've slept next too since I've been out there "dating" over the last 14months. Russian Roulette...yes, I've played it this last year...only on a few occasions but it only takes 1, right?
(I could not tell J this.)

Why I chose to live in this state of denial is beyond me. Why I didn't open the discussion of safety first, I cannot say--to drunk/high to care/think, maybe. I carried condoms in the overnight bag. It's not like it would cause any delay like running out to the drug store would. Maybe that subconscience knowledge that "guys hate condoms" overruled any good sense in my head.
(I could not tell J this either.)

At this point it really doesn't matter. I've been unsafe with 4 partners and damage could have already been done. Now, J and I have also been unsafe and damage could also already have been done. And, J has unknowingly gone home to his wife and has been unsafe. The unbelievable guilt I am already feeling due to the fact that he trusted me...he trusted that would have stopped him to say "I may not be OK--I am not sure--I've not been tested--please, let's be safe." How do you tell someone after-the-fact that you are not worthy of that trust? That you just figured he was like every other guy in this world that hates condoms? Or, that you were just plain stupid and now he has to worry because you dropped the ball.
(Hopefully, I'll never have to tell J this.)

I know he could have/should have broached the subject with me himself before the first time and he didn't. But, he knew he was safe and, I guess he imagined that I'd be the kind of person who would insist on safety, being intelligent and female and married, etc.. Funny how we judge people on attitude and appearances and never think about the worst thing that could happen.

So, after the conversation two nights ago and the sick nervous butterflies flitting around ever since, I called the County Health Center and made an appointment to be tested earlier today. I will know in 2 weeks...the longest 2 weeks of my life, I figure. I'll more than likely be negative but you really never know until you know. I'm more afraid of having to tell J "guess what you get for trusting me" than I am of being told "it's positive and you need to start drug therapy immediately"--how f**ked up is that? Does that mean I really care for him? No, I think it means that I'm afraid of having to say "I didn't think enough of you to mention that I've been unsafe." This would be par for the course for me: I've finally found someone to share something with and have actually been happy since we hooked up--waiting unbelievingly, wondering what will eventually f**k up this good thing like all my other good things that got f**cked up...

Trust. Guilt. Fear. Now, what do I say to J?""

I have nothing to say..I was an absolute moron and very lucky I didn't end up pregnant or ill..thats all I will say about it.

We use a cervical cap for birth control. This only happened after the first year or so - at that time, we didn't really use anything. I took the morning after pill occasionally.

There are a few reasons for this. For one, we both had all of our STD tests run before we started our affair, and we know we're being faithful (relatively. He has sex with his wife, but he says she was tested before she got pregnant with their child. And the one time I found a new boyfriend, I used condoms religiously). We've both been in long-term relationships before (his marriage, and I was with the same guy for 6 years when I was younger) and are used to having sex without condoms, so we both had no desire to use them. (He also has a hard time reaching orgasm with them, and I sometimes experience pain and tearing when I use condoms). He wanted to get a vasectomy so that we wouldn't need to use anything, but I wouldn't let him because I'd like us to have a child together someday, and he respected that request although he isn't exactly enthusiastic at the idea of having another kid. I can't take birth control pills because I have some nasty side effects (migraine, massive weight gain), so cervical cap seemed the most logical choice. Sometimes I've forgotten to use it, but I've never gotten pregnant. We're starting to suspect that I may have some kind of fertility problem, because we've taken a lot of risks and nothing has ever happened.

An unfortunate side note - we thought the cervical cap would be ok instead of condoms because all of our STD tests were negative and he insisted that his wife couldn't be cheating because she has no interest in sex and is always busy with the kids. I figured he knows her and I don't, and he seemed to find the idea of her fooling around, especially without protection, so ridiculous that I thought it would be fine. Then last month, I was diagnosed with genital herpes. I have had sex with someone other than MM in the last 2 months, but he and I were VERY careful about condom use, and he tested negative when I sent him to the doctor. So it looks like I caught it from MM through his wife. He's in total denial about that, though, and refuses to confront her about it without better proof (we're having some issues with the blood tests. Both of our blood tests came back negative, but the cultures of my sores came back positive, indicating I caught the disease recently and my blood hasn't produced antibodies yet. I explained to him that his blood test is probably negative for the same reason, but he refuses to even consider that we caught it from his wife unless a later blood test comes back positive for him).

we've never used protection. he has had a vasectomy so we don't have to worry about pregnancy, and STDs were never an issue. we're both clean!

I used BC pills in the beginning, but I stopped for numerous reasons. He knew it, and did not seem to mind. Stupid-yes. But like others have posted, we felt closer. We were both tested and have a clean bill of health.

It's funny that I decided to respond to this question because MM and I have never had intercourse.
Simply because I don't feel 100% comfortable with us doing so since he is still MM and living in the house with "her." I'm only 20 and have been with 2 other guys and I don't want my third to be this way.
However, we have had several occasions where he performed oral vaginal and oral anal sex on me but that's as far as we've allowed it to go.
He understands how I feel and respects that and has never tried to do anything otherwise.
That's why I feel he truly loves me and it's been a year and a half.
Some times we even talk about waiting until we're married.

I was on BC pills when we began, I had only ever slept with my husband and we both got tested...albeit I only got tested last year...so we never use condoms. Now 5 years later I have gone off it - he doesn't know. I know this makes me a terrible person, but I am 30 years old and I know I will never be able to end it. There is one thing I would hate to give up even more than him and that is to have children. I know he may not respond well and I am willing to take that risk. We only see each other once or twice a week, so I figure that it is not much of a chance of getting pregnant soon. If I do I will be thrilled if not, I will also be thrilled

Well, I can't conceive, we had each only ever been with one other person and don't have any diseases....
so no, we never used anything.

Both protected and unprotected...He would use a condom because he said it helped him to last longer, but often he wouldn't which is what I preferred...I was on the pill so I wasn't worried about getting pregnant.

We had unprotected sex. I had an IUD. At the time I didn't think about STDs. When my husband found out he asked me to have a blood test. Very humiliating.

I have an IUD so I am not too worried there. As for STD's, I know that's it's stupid but we haven't even really talked about it, just kind of figured that he doesn't........Hope not.....Boy would hubby be fired up......Chris' Secret Woman

Yes- we always use condoms, however I have just made an appointment with my doctor to get on the pill. We have only dated for 3 months, so we may continue to use condoms for a while.

Read it and weep girls - my man is just too big for any modern condom to fit on his powerful tool. Does it bother me? Nope - I can't get pregnant anymore (thank God) and we've both been in monogomous relationships for years. With the exception of my first affair where the guy was a stickler for latex.

No. First had a vasectomy (highly reccomend it) second I'm not even sure.

We used bc only but no std protection. He as my 2nd, I was in a monogamous relationship when we met. I was his 3rd, he had been married for years and was monogamous as well. We knew we wouldn't be picking up or giving any std's in our emr.

we used condoms the first few times. my instigation for protection from STDs. he asked me pretty quickly whether i was on the BC pill and what was the reason for using the condoms. once i trusted he was clean we stopped using the condoms (i also had a check up after i was first with him without condoms but have never mentioned that to him).
i use NFP. have been doing so for years before i met him and it works really well for me. much much better reliability than pill which i was on before (old story, let's not go there). luckily we have never been together when i have been fertile but would not trust pull out method and think if we had ever been together when i was fertile, we would have used a condom although we hate them (though i have never minded with any other person) or done everything but.
he has always been worried about getting me pregnant because of our circumstances and i have been extra vigilant. he was not familiar with nfp so it took him a while to get used to but it was just time and trust and he seems more comfortable now.

Well....I was always on the pill. Am still in my 20s and do not want kids yet.

But, we started out using condoms (at my insistence), but as we came to trust and love eachother, stopped using them.

No regrets.

We used a condom the first two times we had. The third time, which was less than 3 hours after the first two, we didn't. And we haven't ever used them again.
Why? Sheer recklessness, maybe. Blind trust? Faith and hope? I'm not on any type of birth control and he's still potent. He does for the most part attempt the pullout method, but there have been a few times when I've had to use the "push down and squeeze it out" method.

I am on birth control pills

We have always gone unprotected ... stupid, I know. I got pregnant about 4 months into it, and had to terminate because my H had a V.

xMM and I always used condoms. Sure, you know who you have been with and who you haven't, but can you honestly say that you know for certain that his wife isn't cheating, or that there haven't been other OWs before you? No, you can't. No matter what he tells you, you can't say for certain.

Also, herpes outbreaks are not always visible to the eye, and you can get infected during those times. How silly and sad in this day and age to blindly trust anyone. The fact that men and women cheat should let all of us know that no one can be completely trusted. There are diseases out there that can kill you, sterilize you, or stay with you for life. The people that carry them may have no symptoms and may look completely "normal." Love is not worth misery or dying.

Lecture over. But...please protect yourself. Anything else is just naive and stupid.

We have always had unprotected sex. We want to have a child together, that's what its all about.

im 17 now and this has been going on since i was 13. i lost my virginity to him before he was with his girlfriend and got pregnant.i had a miscarriage and thought i would never talk to him again, which was when he met his current girlfriend.a few months later they had broken up and we began seeing eachother again..i had no idea who this girl was.. she is 3 years older than me ( he is 2 years older )so they were back together and we have continued to see eachother for four years.. i have told her and she has even found us together.. we've gotten in fist fights.. but neither of us has stopped seeing him.. since the miscarriage i have been on birth control until recently.. so we use the pull-out method.. i once contracted an std from someone else and i told my parter and his girlfriend because i believe she should know.

Unprotected. I am not having any more kids, had the tubal. And he and I knew each other for 2 years as best friends before the A. We had no reason to feel that we needed to protect against STD. It never even came up.

Protected. Condoms. Plus I Have to wear a patch for hormones (it has B.C. in it) otherwise IT never ends! Why? I don't know that he doesn't still have sex with BW, regardless of what he says. I do know that she has several OM, and that grosses me out to think I could catch something from her thru him. This also makes me question my own sanity in even getting involved!

The first time was unprotected and unplanned....at least by me. Now I use VCFs. I'm perimenopausal so hopefully this too shall pass.

We had unprotected sex in the beginning, not anymore.

UNLESS YOU HAVE HAD A COMPLETE HISTERECTOMY, YOU CAN STILL CONCEIVE A CHILD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And Doctors don't know everything.

As I found out the hard way.

Another story for another time.

we do not use protection........it has never been a consideration in our relationship

No, he tried to use a condom on our first night together but it kept falling off because he was so big - lucky me eh? :o/

From then on in I went on the pill, although I knew I had had bad reactions to it before. It wasn't long before I started getting migranes and I knew my brain would start swelling if I continued on it.

I swapped onto the progestrogen only pill and I was fine after that.

I always knew if I were to get pregnant I wouldn't keep it - just maybe long enough to put the frighteners on him so he'd leave his W!

I am on the pill, and that is the only form that was ever used. The first time we slept together he didn't know I was on the pill, he didn't even ask and he didn't use a condom!!

Do you and MM use protection?
Yes, the pill for BC. We both were tested for STDs prior to our first sexual encounter.

Hmmm... depends on the moment. Sounds very irresponsible however it honestly depends on whether he brings a condom. He has been told that he has no sperm (thus the reason for only one child) however it still makes me nervous.

Bad thing is that I want to feel him and the condom causes some issues. He always pulls out but I guess there is always that one little possibility...

So far, unprotected.

I told him before we started anything that we had to be "safe" because I wasn't on BC and wasn't about to start now. (I'm 34.) I have enough hormones of my own without adding synthetic ones. I also have had lousy experiences with BC in the past. Besides, how would I explain to H my sudden desire to go on BC?

So, for years, H and I have used condoms for sex or we enjoy other sexual activities. As for MM, he pulls out and we hope there are no stragglers.

It may be stupid and irresponsible - but he has done this many times with other women. All I can do is trust that he knows what he's doing. I know that he doesn't want any surprises any more than I do.

My MM and I never used protection because he had a vasectomy. However...his wife cheated on him with multiple men long before he ever met me - he found out because one of her boyfriends found videotapes of himself and several other men and sent them to MM's work.

Six months later, he met me. I believe him when he says they were not together sexually before and after he met me, but he was honest enough a year into the affair to tell me that they very, very occasionally have sex because (as I know from when I was in a dysfunctional marriage) you sometimes cannot avoid it.

This didn't bother me a year ago regarding STD's, but he recently told me that she had gotten an 'apartment cleaning job' once a week but he didn't know any of the details about where, when she went, etc. Which got me thinking...

When I date other men seriously, I do not sleep with MM. And when I have slept with the men I'm in a relationship with, I've used protection. So, if she's perhaps up to her old tricks and not necessarily cleaning apartments (just my instincts, here) I am suddenly very uncomfortable. I was tested and I'm fine, but suffice it to say that he and I will no longer have unprotected sex.

Which we very likely will not in any case, because I'm in N/C mode.

P.

Unfortunately I didn't use protection with him, but I wish I would have. But, I go to the gyno tomorrow and get all checked out. I will never do that again. I guess I didn't use anything with him because I knew he wasn't sexually active and I knew he had had a vasectomy.

she had her tubes tied. we used condoms maybe the first 3 times, then after that, no protection whatsover.

The 1st 2 times, yeah we were protected, but she had her tubes tied, then after that, I was leaving her dripping daily.

Vasectomy + No diseases = unprotected. Possibly also unwise, I mean you never know right?

Stupid, very stupid. After our breakup, with the rose coloured glasses removed, it came to my attention that my MM had many many partners, before me and probably after me. Testing for STD's okay, but no thanks to him! Birth control was not an issue as I had surgery some time ago.

exMM and I never, ever used protection as he had a V several years before we met. I trusted him beyond reproach, so I never thought twice however, after we broke up and I found out the extensive amount of lies he told me, I got extremely scared. I was tested for all the STD's and had a clean bill of health, but I still get tested regularly to make sure nothing has just taken awhile to rear it's ugly head. So far so good but looking back, I wish we had used protection.

We have yet to cross the path into sex, because we didn't have a condom. I for one am not stupid enough to 1. put myself at risk, 2. put him at risk, 3. put his wife at risk. Also, it's not like a we need to bring a child into this mess. So short answer, hell yeah we would use a condom.

actually we only had intercourse twice during our six month relationsip and no we did not use protection. I am not at an age to worry about pregnancy and he was fixed anyway. If i had known there was someone else in the picture besides me and his wife at the time I might have insisted on it. He had a problem with erectile dysfunction so I never pushed the issue so that is why I never pushed sexual intercourse. our oral sex was very fullfilling for both of us and I did not feel like I was missing anything. well sometimes but it was not something we discussed or I made him feel bad about.

We used condoms and I was on birth control for the first year, then for the next 6 yrs no condoms, but I remained on birth control! We both got tested before we stopped using condoms and I wasn't sleeping with anyone else, so if I caught anything it would be from him. He got tested yearly for insurance purposes and he would give me a copy just to ease my mind!

this is an odd one for me, i always use condoms against std's as i make sure i take care of my own birth control.
but, i didnt with mm, he had been married 15yrs, not strayed before, or slept with wife in recent times. (i know i know, dont they all say that!!) strangely enough about 6 weeks into our A it caused a major arguement. i asked if he had had a vascetomy, "no, why?" i then asked why he wasnt concerned about me getting pregnant,which then moved on to how we both sensed it was safe to go without. strange, as i would never do so with a single guy.

Unprotected. When xMM and I hooked up the first night had met, we didn't use condoms and I wasn't on the pill. It was perhaps the stupidest thing I've ever done. I had a box of condoms right there and we used one the first round of sex but the second round, I have no idea why, but we didn't use a condom. I ended up feeling itchy and uncomfortable down there a week later and immediately went to the gyno. It turned out, I only had a really bad yeast infection (phew). But! I ended up in the hospital shortly after with a kidney infection from the urinary tract infection that I also ended up getting that same night as well but went unnoticed because of the yeast infection. You see... xMM hadn't showered in a whole week before I met up with him. He was loaded with bacteria, dirt, and nastiness.

I have an IUD but that's it. We have both been tested before we got together.

I was on the pill.

I had only been with one other person (my fiancee), and we had always used condoms in addition to the pill. We wanted to be extra EXTRA safe.

But with xMM.....just the pill. Why? I wanted to be as close to him as possible, and I trusted him when he said his W was the only one he had ever been with (and they hadn't even had sex in over 3 years). He did always pull-out, though, but there were times when I was a little late and I was actually so excited. He claimed to be too. Once we were on the phone and he even told me to touch my stomach and feel the "baby". Of course I wasn't really pregnant. But hell, we even had them named. <sigh>

No, we did not use anything. He has had a vasectomy many years ago and because he had only been with his wife prior to us and had annual checkups for STDs (and so had I), we were certain that there was no risk. He had no sexual relations with his wife (or at least so he claimed) while we were together. Although I have no proof of that claim, I tend to believe it, because I know his wife personally and she hinted into that direction on a few occasions (ie. that there was nothing going on in the bedroom). I also never saw them touching each other, holding hands, kissing, etc., etc.

We have protected sex. My MM has only been with his wife, and my ex had EMA. I was tested one year after last encounter with xH. I was clean. So, we were not concerned about STDs, however my MM is extremely cautious about pregnancy prevention. We use rhythm method, and condoms. He is also scheduled to have a vasectomy. I am a little sad about that. I really would love to have a child with him. I am also a little fearful that his W may decide she wants to start sleeping with him again when there is no longer a fear of pregnancy.

well.. i'm only 22, but ive been with over a dozen partners (and havent been too careful about protection of any kind with these men) in the past (during my drug abuse days). Ive been clean for the last 2 years now, slept with only 3 other men before i met my MM. (used condoms with all 3).
Now i'm on the pill (coz i'm still studying, its gonna be a while before MM's divorce see;s the light of day, we dont live in the most socially accepting country etc etc)Ive been with my MM physically for the past 3 months, (5 years emotionally)
If its a connect as deep as this, i dont beleive its fair to block it. Love always feels better without the rubber! beesides, rubber's painful.
STDs?
MM says its been over 1.5 years that he was with anyone. before that it was his W and random women before that. But its a stupid and naive belief that we lead charmed lives that takes us this far.

Unprotected.

Although he had a vasectomy, I constantly worry that I am going to pick up something from him (either him having affairs that he does not tell me about, or if his wife is having an affair and he does not no). It has been a year and I get tested regularly.... I'm still safe.

My MM is the first man I have ever not used a condom with. Before people start freaking out, allow me to explain. I am on the pill, I have always used condoms previously, and I have been tested. My MM got tested for me and he had a vasectomy about 10 years ago, so I know I do not run a risk of getting pregnant from him.

Before we ever made love he asked me if I would have his child (a red head). I agreed without a doubt. We have never had protected sex. We did try to use a condom once but that was not working for either of us. Pulling out is one of those things that he specializes in. It would be great if he could implement that strategic skill towards his failed marriage.

He told me he had a V long before we ever did anything, but we discussed it and we both wanted to use condoms. We did for the first 2 mos, but then one time we just didnt, to feel closer to each other, and it was his idea. We havent used any protection since.

I was on the pill but that's it. Yeah, I think I took a bit of a chance but he'd been in a LTM for 13 years, I was just coming out of a LTM so I figured we'd be ok.

We would often get really drunk together and "forget" to use condoms. Personally, I think it's more than we just didn't care. But after a pregnancy scare, we tried to be good. The reason he married the woman he married was because when he was cheating on his first wife with her, she got pregnant. He felt bad so he married her. Ridiculous. Kind of wish it happened to me, though. =/

ALWAYS never was even talked about just always used a condom, I have an IUD and he knows that but I feel better that we do use condoms because I just feel safer. I have since found out him n his GF at some point stopped using them when she went on the pill but when she started talking about babies he decided it was best to use them again. PLUS I think he wanted to get oral again LOL.

Unprotected sex. He had a vasectomy, so we did not have to worry about birth control and we were both coming from long term, stable marriages, so did not worry about STDs, etc.

Unprotected. He only had sex with his wife before me, and she had only had it with him. He had his tubes tied as well.

I am on the BC pill. We don't use condoms - MM hates them.

we did the pull out method once before i got on the pill. then i got on the pill and it was spectacular! i would feel him inside me for hours afterwards. i loved the smell of his cum on my thong.

we are not gonna be stupid even though we would perfer not to use a condom we do, and we can't risk me getting  pg it would ruin both our live and if we did we hav a fall guy to blame it on it sounds bad but we don't want people to now that we are together

When we first started...we used to have unprotected sex. One month in, he got me pregnant. After the miscarriage he made sure he always had condoms.