I started coming here when i was only 20 years old in the year 2000. My new boyfriend was a MM and I had nobody to turn to, nobody to help me deal with the situation of being a OW. Where i come from everyone looks at the OW as the "home wrecker". When in reality their relationship was the "home wrecker". I met my MM after i had gotten out of a really long, abusive relationship. I had been in it since i was 16 and had only been out of it a month. I come from a very prominent family in my community, my father an elected official for many years i had to give the impression of being the perfect daughter. My father was never home, never there to be the dad he should have been. I guess i longed for a father figure, a man to take the place of my dad when he wasnt there for me. A man that would help me, take care of me. I know now at 25 that is what i was searching for. In both my ex-fiance and my current X-MM, since my ex-fiance was 8 years older than i and my MM was 18 years older. My whole life i have embraced challenges, have always strived to be the best, no challenge was ever too tough. I guess in some ways that is what I strived for, to have this man, to be with him day and night and make a life with him. I did not stop, i knew what i wanted and i eventually got it. I came here for advice and for companionship, i got it. The women here were so understanding and not judgemental. They helped me learn things about myself i never knew. I remember one in particular, elaine, who even went as far as sending me a book that she paid for. At TOW i did not feel like the bad person. I felt normal and i felt like the victim, i felt like i was being put in the middle of a realtionship gone bad. Now that i have a LITTLE age on me, i have gained a new perspective on life. MM got a divorce 2 1/2 years ago, we have been together now 5 years last month. Things seem to be going great. Even though he is not quite the casanova he used to be he is still great in many ways. I have been living with him for 6 months. I gave up my home and I am just starting to miss my independance. Now I am not sure if this is what i want forever, a normal relationship. I have always went the extra mile, took the extra step in everything , now that the challege is gone what do i do? I am just getting a little older and now i am questioning our relationship. Even though it is great he is still 43 and i am still 25, i know it could work but will it be what i expected. This story came from my heart, my own feelings and i wanted to be honest with all of you. My story just goes to show you that it can work out, that it can be great, just make sure that it is what you really want. I know i am only 25 but i know i can say that i have 5 years experience on the subject and i know what i am talking about. So to all of the OW out there, make sure that this is what you really want and then go for it! Its not your fault you fell in love with a MM, it was fate. And as my favorite quote says "If you love something , set it free. If it comes back to you, its yours. If it doesnt it never was." Thats how i got through it. Thanks for letting me tell my story.

Hi,
I feel sort of like do. I wish I had someone to take care of me, look after me, and someone to learn things from. My father and mother were never there for me either.I'm 26 years old and MM is 43. What started out as a high school crush ended up a hot & steamy A. I don't know how to feel about my R with MM right now. He gets angry when he doesn't hear from me after about 3 days. This is round 2 for us. I chose to abandon the relationship because he told me that he was happily married during round 1. Now we are about 4 months into round 2 and I don't know if he just wants me for sex or if he actually enjoys my company, as he says.

I feel that same way. Being the oldest of 4, I was always the one who took care of my little brother and sisters. I mean, I can't complain because I loved being their older sisters. But when I look back on it, when I was taking care of them, who was taking care of me? I watched my parents toil and fuss and spoil my siblings while I just watched on the sidelines expected to be content since i was the oldest. My mom rarely ever showed any affection towards me. She was always hugging and kissing and playfully joking around with my younger siblings. But once again, wiht me, I was too old to be treated that way. I have always been a very affectionate person.I always tell my brothers and sisters how much I love them. I'm always giving them a hug and kiss on the cheek. They on the other hand, I guess were all worn out from my mom's affection that they weren't quite as affectionate with me. But I know that they loved me either way. So I guess the point of all this is just to say, being the oldest I was rarely shown any type of affection from anyone in my family. I always had the biggest responsibilities and always had to take care of things. I was also always the first to experience everything, sometimes it was good, but most of the time it was bad. Sometimes I just wanted someone to give me advice so I wouldnt have to make such a stupid mistake sometimes. So when I got older and was ready to date, I was always attracted to older guys because of the pretense that they are stable and have alot of experience and can treat me better than guys my age.