My affair is ending. I'm a single woman and he is married. We have been together for almost two years. I had no idea this would evolve as it has. At first, it was fun and I wasn't connected. I am intrigued with him. I always have been. He is a good man. I have fallen madly in love with him, especially since in October when I told him I had a date....he then started to give me money and gifts and started talking like we would have a life together one day. He has changed in the past two to three weeks. The calls are infrequent. He is no longer telling me he loves me. And it is very, very difficult. Although I do believe that it will be easier once I get over the heartache...waiting for calls, e-mails, and for him to leave is making me crazy.

I don't want to face the heartache ahead, and will employ the strategy I used when I was divorcing my ex....think about all the negative and see the relationship for what it was. How long does it take to get over this? I will never ever do this again. I just want it to be done and over and to not feel pain. Have you had it end? How long did it take to recover?

Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

There's no way to avoid pain if you care about someone. But since he's already pulling away and showing you less attention/affection, it'll be a lot easier when you finally decide to end it. There won't be that much to miss since he's not giving you that much to begin with. Until you're ready to say "I'm not getting anything out of this except heartache and misery," you're not ready to end it. Best thing you can do? Live your life. Don't wait for his emails, don't wait for his calls. If you're around when he does, great. If not, his loss. Live! And when you're ready, just end it.

Thanks xow...great advice.

The reality of this is getting clearer. I did spend time with him over this past weekend (it is two years ago today that I met him). So, that was a celebration I guess. This past weekend was the first time he'd taken calls from his wife while we were together. Sure gets clear when you hear him responding with the sweet stuff I thought he only said to me. He also told me, as I was talking about the future, that I was reading "too much" into this. Pretty telling. I really don't think he will ever leave and I just need to do as you say...end it when I am ready...

Your words really help. Thank you.

Yes, that's pretty cruel of him to talk to her like that in front of you. Eventually you'll get so fed up with how he's treating you and you'll kick him to the curb. Until then, like I said, just live your life. As someone has said, don't make him a priority when to him you're just an option. Get busy with your life and show him that life does go on without him. That he too is just an option when you feel like it.