The stories that follow are truly heart wrenching. I challenge you to read them and not cry. If you succeed, give yourself a medal for being a heartless beast.
This is a testimony to the fact that evil beliefs make humans commit unthinkable atrocities. Anwar Shaikh, the renowned anti Islamist admits that during the Partition, when he was young, he was so filled with hate that he went out with a machete and killed two innocent Sikhs, a father and a son and a Hindu. He did not know any of his victims. He killed them because they were the first non-Muslims he saw in the streets. The memory of his crime haunts him to this day. But the mind of a believer is like a mind on drugs. He is completely dehumanized.
This Bangladeshi Hindu was caught in the street. He was brought to the mosque and was beaten to death. His pleads for mercy had no effect on the stone-hard hearts of the Muslim Satan worshippers. They chanted, "kill the kafir, kill the kafir" and shouted Allah u Akbar while Vimal Patak met his agonizing death.
Humans are not born evil, they become evil through indoctrination.
By: Ahmed Awny Shalakamy
I grew up in Giza, Egypt. My father was a building contractor and was involved in Islamic activities. He was the chairman of one of the local Islamic associations and was responsible for making the call for prayer. He also gave Islamic lessons and at times spoke at the mosque on Friday.
My father hated Christians. He taught me that they are infidels who contradict themselves by saying that Jesus Christ is God while their distorted book has verses that prove he is a prophet. It was all part of the rhetoric we got used to hearing from booming mosque loudspeakers, and from the playing of radio and audio cassettes in the streets. In such an atmosphere, a Muslim child in Egypt is breast-fed hatred along with his mothers milk.
My fathers association was active in many fields. It ran a dormitory for girls, a workshop, a clinic, a nursery, a madrassah to study Quran and a section for preaching Islam. The main interest of his association was to proselytize Islam by any means.
During the rule of the late president Anwar El Sadat, the Grand Imam of El Azhar Mohamed Abdel Halim Mahmoud was involved in plotting together with Sadats vice president Mr. Hussein el Shafei. Sheikh Keshk was also involved in this planning together with Mohamed Osman Ismail, Assiuts previous governor, and Mohamed Abdel Mohsen Saleh. Both Ismail and Saleh were the founding fathers of the various Islamic proselytizing associations that sprouted up, and of which my father was involved.
The goal of these groups was to convert Egypt into an Islamic state over a period of 50 years. Members of the royal Saudi family, who were related to the Wahabi movement and oil princes from the Gulf, financed this plan. Money was spent lavishly to seduce Christian women and girls any way possible. The cost in the seventies and early eighties was about five thousand Egyptian pounds for the entrapment of each girl. The money was split so that the Muslim man who lured the Christian woman into conversion received half and the members of the police and collaborating associations would receive the other half.
The work of the proselytizing associations in Egypt continues to take place and the payments for deceptive conversions are now higher. Today the average payment for an ordinary girl is ten thousand Egyptian pounds and payments can be as high as two hundred thousand Egyptian pounds if the girl is from a well-known Christian family, or is the daughter of a university professor, a deputy minister, or related to someone from the clergy.
Like my father, I too was involved with a proselytizing association. After we succeeded in converting a Christian woman, we would antagonize the Christians by parading the converted girl through the streets. We played loud music and waved flags while shouting Allahu Akbar to declare the victory of Islam. We would also chant slogans to shame the Christians. No Christian would stand in the way of these parades, which were safeguarded by the police.
This was a normal practice until 1985 when such parades were banned. Nevertheless, we continued in our campaign to convert Christian women anyway. We were focused on converting Christian girls and women because we believed this was a greater form of humiliation for Christians. In the East, a mans honor is in his daughter, sister or wife and so disgracing any of them is the ultimate humiliation for him.
We used all kinds of tricks to get Christian women. We primarily sought to appeal to their emotions and impulses. We would also get these women involved in moral scandals and used that to coerce them to do whatever we wanted. This is what I did, while I was involved with a proselytizing association. Besides receiving payment for this work, I was convinced I received an additional reward because each time I caused a Christian woman to convert to Islam I would be awarded with an acre of land in heaven.
The following accounts are of the women that I lured into Islam through deceptive methods.
N.M.A.
NMA was originally from Cairo and went to college in the city where my family lived. I was in my first year of college at the time, and this was my first case of proselytizing.
She was very pretty. She had a few Muslim girl friends who told me that she was an easy catch. They arranged for me to meet her and I practiced pretending that I was madly in love, staring at her with desire and faking a quivering voice.
When NMA and I first started talking, I asked her some questions about the Christian faith. I realized I had to change my tactics if I was going to trap her. I started to convince her that I loved her and I worked on her until she fell for me. Her girl friends were aware of what was happening and helped me by talking to her about my love for her. I told her that we could marry and keep our different faiths, as Islam allows Muslims to marry the people of the book because they believe in God. I had my way with her and she became pregnant.
I secretly went to church with her a few times and I even bought Christian books, icons and the fellowship bread to convince her that I was an admirer of Christianity. I told her that I would have gladly converted to Christianity, but could not do it because I would be killed. I then told her that I loved her and could not live without her and if she converted to Islam, she would not be killed, as she was carrying our baby--the fruit of our love.
She was scared and did not know what to do. At that time, I asked her not to sever her relation with the church, to act as she normally would and as a camouflage go to church on Thursday for confession, on Friday for communion and again on Sunday for Mass. She followed my instructions and one day, as per my instructions, she arrived with her suitcase and gold jewelry, and we spent the night at my home in Gameat El Dewal El Arabia Street. On Saturday morning, she had an appointment with the person in charge at El Azhar. I arranged for her escape to the city where she attended college and where I lived until she finished her studies. I then had her name changed to Fatima El Zahra Mohamed Ali El Mahdi.
The efforts of her family and of other Christians to take her back were in vain. I made sure she was the one who adamantly refused to go back after my colleagues and I brainwashed her. My efforts were successful as she became completely convinced that she was now worshipping the true God of Islam.
After five weeks of achieving this victory for Islam and receiving my financial reward, I decided that I did not want to keep this faithless whore as my wife. She was cheap to me and was merely an object for sensual pleasure. How could I have a son with her who has in him the blood of those Christian infidels? I reasoned. I ordered her to have an abortion and I used my legitimate right to beat her. I also obliged her to work for her food. I told her she had to serve her Muslim masters who put a roof over her head and she had to be grateful that I married her and saved her from her shame.
I started to think about repeating the same game again with other women, so that I could serve my life, my religion and my after-life. I believed by doing this I would serve my religion by making the infidels embrace Islam; I would serve my life by getting financial rewards; and I would serve my after life by having many acres written in my name in heaven. I would also have a house cleaner for free. She would work for her food and when I wanted to use her for pleasure, she would be my odalisque.
I enjoyed hurting, beating and humiliating Fatima (NMA). I was positive she did not truly convert to Islam and that she has only surrendering to her female instincts. All this made me more inclined to take revenge on her. Fatima stayed with me for three years, seven months and twelve days until one Sunday in 1998 when I converted to Christianity. I was an atheist and avoided everyone, before becoming a Christian. But as I continued my research, I believe Jesus Christ showed himself to me.
I told my wife about my change of faith. She did not believe me at first. During those three years seven months and twelve days that Fatima stayed with me, I made eight girls convert to Islam. After I became a Christian, I sought to restore each of the nine women who converted because of me as well as those whom my father had converted. I am now praying for the rest of them and I keep getting good news about the coming back of one girl after the other.
When I met DBA, she was studying in a college located one and a half hours from her home. She came from a wealthy family. Her father and mother were physicians and her brothers were physicians in the Egyptian armed forces. Though she was a churchgoer, she was not religious. DBA was outgoing in her friendships with both Muslims and Christians. Yet despite her congeniality, we did not find it easy to get to her and had to resort to foul play. As Muslim men, we believed we were in a perpetual war with the filthy infidels, and therefore it was OK to trick them.
One day I received a visit from a young Muslim man who told me he wanted to marry DBA and asked me to help him convince her to convert to Islam. After much planning, I found out that this girls best friend was a religious Muslim. But she still considered the Christian girl her sister and I was disturbed by this. So I paid a visit to the Muslim girl and talked to her about the corrupt beliefs of Christianity and reminded her of what Allah says in the Quran (Jews and Christians wont accept you until you follow their religion) and also (Ye believers do not take Jews and Christians as friends and those who befriend them are from them, as Allah does not show the right path to the unjust). I told her that jihad against them is the duty of every Muslim and she should contribute to the victory of Islam. The Muslim girl was convinced that I was right and asked what was required of her. I told her not to show hatred toward her Christian friend, but to treat her as usual and even try to strengthen their friendship and follow all of my instructions.
I then went to a Muslim pharmacist who is a member of our association and asked him for a drug to induce hallucinations. I told him why I needed the drug. He told me he wanted to contribute to the victory of Islam and therefore he agreed to provide it. I then gave the drug to the Muslim girl and told her to dissolve two tablets in a glass of milk and give it to DBA to drink, and then call us as soon as she noticed any changes in the girl.
The Muslim girl called us as soon as DBA started to hallucinate and lose control in her apartment. When my friend and I arrived, we had a camera and a video recorder. We started joking with DBA and she was responding, not realizing what we were doing until my friend managed to strip her of her clothes and took her to the bedroom.
I recorded everything on video and took pictures for about three hours. When DBA came around, she realized what had happened and started screaming and crying. She insulted us, Islam and the prophet of Islam, and tried to tear up the Quran, which was with her girlfriend. I showed her the video tape and the photos and threatened to make copies and distribute them to her family, as well as to other Christian families. I reminded her that she would be humiliated by the scandal. She cried and fell to the ground kissing our shoes pleading with us not to do this, but we insisted that she had to do whatever we told her to do, as she knew her brothers and relatives might even kill her if they were to see that video.
She gave in. Her tears and desperation made me ecstatic. Over the next few weeks, she accompanied us to the association where she was brainwashed by the sheikhs. She could not argue with anything they said. She was miserable and never stopped crying.
We taught her what to say before it was time for her to go the police department. She followed our instructions when she was interviewed by the police. And when a police officer asked her why she wanted to convert to Islam she said that the Prophet Mohamed came to her in a dream and greeted her with the Islamic greeting calling her Aisha. Jesus was also in the dream, greeted her with the Islamic greeting and denounced all Christians saying there is no God but Allah. She said that Jesus told her that he is Allahs slave and prophet and Mohamed is Allahs prophet. Then, she said, Jesus kissed Mohameds head and asked her to repeat after him Allahs words from the Quran (those who believe in any other religion but Islam, Allah will not accept it from them in the end, and they will be losers).
She not only said this in front of the police officers, but also to her family members and the priests who came to visit her. Her reactions during these visits, which were called counseling sessions, were staged by us and agreed on by the police before the meeting. It was all a fraud and though she was visited by different priests, she could only tell them what we had coached her to say.
After all the legal procedures were completed, we got her new ID and new Islamic name: Aisha Abdalla Elmahdy. We had achieved our plan and the Muslim man, Yasser, a Mujahid, got the girl he desired along with his financial reward, which was quite hefty because she was from a prominent Christian family. I received 25% of his share, plus my share of the amount I paid to the collaborating persons involved.
Aishas family was dishonored and humiliated as expected. As a result, her mother sold her pharmacy and her father sold his clinic. They moved to a place where they could disappear away in the crowd in order to flee the scandal.
So Aisha married Yasser and lived as an outcast, because she was despised by her in-laws. She was married for two months when Yasser said he had enough of her and did not want to keep her anymore. He divorced her and threw her out into the street.
Since she was our sister in Islam and cannot be homeless, I took her to the association where she lived and worked as a maid, cleaning the clinic for her food and board. She stayed there for three months until she was legally allowed to re-marry. The groom to be was a Muslim who knew her story. He was a coolie and was already married with six children. During the day, he labored in the maintenance workshops of the governorate administration. Aisha did not want to marry him and begged us not to allow her to go through with it. We ignored her, and she was forced to marry a man she did not like.
She lived in misery. She worked as a maid to clean homes and sold vegetables in order to feed her husband and his children. It was impossible to imagine that she was once a girl from a wealthy family of physicians and a college student. Her life was ruined. Her second husband divorced her after five months. Since she had been married twice she did not re-marry and because many had found out about the video tapes and photos taken of her when she was drugged, she was considered unclean. She became homeless and had to spend the night in emergency camps where she lived in sub-human conditions. As she hit bottom she cried: God have mercy on me. God showed mercy and answered her prayer.
During the time she was homeless, I became a Christian was looking for the girls I tricked into converting to Islam. I found out what had become of her and went to visit her with my wife who had returned to the church. My wife and I offered to take care of her in our home. We sought to inform her parents about her situation, so I sent a relative of my wife together with a priest who talked to them. They all cried at the news and expressed their desire to see her. The family reunion was arranged in one of the churches in Cairo. It was an impressive reunion. Though I expected the parents to chastise her, they didnt and were happy to see her.
As her family hugged and kissed her, I was so touched by the love I saw that I wondered why we were hurting Christians the way we did. I have always despised the smiles they had on their faces when we criticized, hurt or humiliated them. I used to tell myself that they were smiles of malice because they were a minority and could not stand up to us Muslims. Now I know the reason for their smiles. It is their love, forgiveness and tolerance toward their enemies. It is the Christian characteristic of making peace.
After DBA met her family, she went back home with them and they welcomed her with love and kindness as the scripture says in the story about the prodigal son. Her mother bought her beautiful clothes and her father bought her jewelry. They celebrated her coming home and repeated the words of the Bible (Our daughter was dead and now is alive and was lost and is now found).
A request was submitted to the Clerical Council to endorse her return to Christianity, which was approved. A Christian lawyer volunteered to petition the court to give her back her Christian name and identity card. The court ruled in her favor. She now lives in France where she serves in the Coptic Church with her husband and daughter.
When I met DBA, she was studying in a college located one and a half hours from her home. She came from a wealthy family. Her father and mother were physicians and her brothers were physicians in the Egyptian armed forces. Though she was a churchgoer, she was not religious. DBA was outgoing in her friendships with both Muslims and Christians. Yet despite her congeniality, we did not find it easy to get to her and had to resort to foul play. As Muslim men, we believed we were in a perpetual war with the filthy infidels, and therefore it was OK to trick them.
One day I received a visit from a young Muslim man who told me he wanted to marry DBA and asked me to help him convince her to convert to Islam. After much planning, I found out that this girls best friend was a religious Muslim. But she still considered the Christian girl her sister and I was disturbed by this. So I paid a visit to the Muslim girl and talked to her about the corrupt beliefs of Christianity and reminded her of what Allah says in the Quran (Jews and Christians wont accept you until you follow their religion) and also (Ye believers do not take Jews and Christians as friends and those who befriend them are from them, as Allah does not show the right path to the unjust). I told her that jihad against them is the duty of every Muslim and she should contribute to the victory of Islam. The Muslim girl was convinced that I was right and asked what was required of her. I told her not to show hatred toward her Christian friend, but to treat her as usual and even try to strengthen their friendship and follow all of my instructions.
I then went to a Muslim pharmacist who is a member of our association and asked him for a drug to induce hallucinations. I told him why I needed the drug. He told me he wanted to contribute to the victory of Islam and therefore he agreed to provide it. I then gave the drug to the Muslim girl and told her to dissolve two tablets in a glass of milk and give it to DBA to drink, and then call us as soon as she noticed any changes in the girl.
The Muslim girl called us as soon as DBA started to hallucinate and lose control in her apartment. When my friend and I arrived, we had a camera and a video recorder. We started joking with DBA and she was responding, not realizing what we were doing until my friend managed to strip her of her clothes and took her to the bedroom.
I recorded everything on video and took pictures for about three hours. When DBA came around, she realized what had happened and started screaming and crying. She insulted us, Islam and the prophet of Islam, and tried to tear up the Quran, which was with her girlfriend. I showed her the video tape and the photos and threatened to make copies and distribute them to her family, as well as to other Christian families. I reminded her that she would be humiliated by the scandal. She cried and fell to the ground kissing our shoes pleading with us not to do this, but we insisted that she had to do whatever we told her to do, as she knew her brothers and relatives might even kill her if they were to see that video.
She gave in. Her tears and desperation made me ecstatic. Over the next few weeks, she accompanied us to the association where she was brainwashed by the sheikhs. She could not argue with anything they said. She was miserable and never stopped crying.
We taught her what to say before it was time for her to go the police department. She followed our instructions when she was interviewed by the police. And when a police officer asked her why she wanted to convert to Islam she said that the Prophet Mohamed came to her in a dream and greeted her with the Islamic greeting calling her Aisha. Jesus was also in the dream, greeted her with the Islamic greeting and denounced all Christians saying there is no God but Allah. She said that Jesus told her that he is Allahs slave and prophet and Mohamed is Allahs prophet. Then, she said, Jesus kissed Mohameds head and asked her to repeat after him Allahs words from the Quran (those who believe in any other religion but Islam, Allah will not accept it from them in the end, and they will be losers).
She not only said this in front of the police officers, but also to her family members and the priests who came to visit her. Her reactions during these visits, which were called counseling sessions, were staged by us and agreed on by the police before the meeting. It was all a fraud and though she was visited by different priests, she could only tell them what we had coached her to say.
After all the legal procedures were completed, we got her new ID and new Islamic name: Aisha Abdalla Elmahdy. We had achieved our plan and the Muslim man, Yasser, a Mujahid, got the girl he desired along with his financial reward, which was quite hefty because she was from a prominent Christian family. I received 25% of his share, plus my share of the amount I paid to the collaborating persons involved.
Aishas family was dishonored and humiliated as expected. As a result, her mother sold her pharmacy and her father sold his clinic. They moved to a place where they could disappear away in the crowd in order to flee the scandal.
So Aisha married Yasser and lived as an outcast, because she was despised by her in-laws. She was married for two months when Yasser said he had enough of her and did not want to keep her anymore. He divorced her and threw her out into the street.
Since she was our sister in Islam and cannot be homeless, I took her to the association where she lived and worked as a maid, cleaning the clinic for her food and board. She stayed there for three months until she was legally allowed to re-marry. The groom to be was a Muslim who knew her story. He was a coolie and was already married with six children. During the day, he labored in the maintenance workshops of the governorate administration. Aisha did not want to marry him and begged us not to allow her to go through with it. We ignored her, and she was forced to marry a man she did not like.
She lived in misery. She worked as a maid to clean homes and sold vegetables in order to feed her husband and his children. It was impossible to imagine that she was once a girl from a wealthy family of physicians and a college student. Her life was ruined. Her second husband divorced her after five months. Since she had been married twice she did not re-marry and because many had found out about the video tapes and photos taken of her when she was drugged, she was considered unclean. She became homeless and had to spend the night in emergency camps where she lived in sub-human conditions. As she hit bottom she cried: God have mercy on me. God showed mercy and answered her prayer.
During the time she was homeless, I became a Christian was looking for the girls I tricked into converting to Islam. I found out what had become of her and went to visit her with my wife who had returned to the church. My wife and I offered to take care of her in our home. We sought to inform her parents about her situation, so I sent a relative of my wife together with a priest who talked to them. They all cried at the news and expressed their desire to see her. The family reunion was arranged in one of the churches in Cairo. It was an impressive reunion. Though I expected the parents to chastise her, they didnt and were happy to see her.
As her family hugged and kissed her, I was so touched by the love I saw that I wondered why we were hurting Christians the way we did. I have always despised the smiles they had on their faces when we criticized, hurt or humiliated them. I used to tell myself that they were smiles of malice because they were a minority and could not stand up to us Muslims. Now I know the reason for their smiles. It is their love, forgiveness and tolerance toward their enemies. It is the Christian characteristic of making peace.
After DBA met her family, she went back home with them and they welcomed her with love and kindness as the scripture says in the story about the prodigal son. Her mother bought her beautiful clothes and her father bought her jewelry. They celebrated her coming home and repeated the words of the Bible (Our daughter was dead and now is alive and was lost and is now found).
A request was submitted to the Clerical Council to endorse her return to Christianity, which was approved. A Christian lawyer volunteered to petition the court to give her back her Christian name and identity card. The court ruled in her favor. She now lives in France where she serves in the Coptic Church with her husband and daughter.
BGM lived in the countryside and attended college. She suffered from the recurrent problem of ruthless parents. She was very delicate, small, frail and very naïve. She used to commute daily to and from her college in a microbus and usually sat at the front seat next to the driver. I saw her and was mesmerized by her delicate, baby-like features. I inquired about her from the driver whose name was Ali Al Sawy and he informed me that she was a college student and always rode with him to college. Ali was a secular Muslim, but I managed to turn him into a religious one. I talked to him about our jihad against Christians convinced him to take part in this jihad against infidels. I used a plan, which was very common then and is still widely used. I bought some Christian booklets and pictures and told Ali to pretend that he was a Christian. Every time the girl rode with him, he would give her a booklet or a picture as she got off his bus.
This helped the girl to become acquainted with Ali, who told her that his name was Simone. They became friends. Ali waited for her daily and drove her back to the village. He would take her wherever she wanted to go. Then they started going out together for walks in the public park. Ali played Christian audio tapes when BGM was alone with him in the car. As their friendship grew, BGM started to pour out her heart to him about the harshness of her father.
Ali and BGM continued to meet like this for seven months, until she was ready for the next step. Then he asked her to run away to one of the monasteries where they could then get married and she said yes. I asked him to drive her home at a time when nobody was there so that she could pack all her things she was so naïve that she even took her Bible with her and we went to the house of a Muslim family where she received our surprise. We told her that it was impossible for her to go back home because by now her family would have discovered that she eloped and if her father saw her he would kill her. We told her that there was no way out of this and that she had to wear a hijab and take on the Muslim name Zeinab.
She cried and begged us not to force her to do this, but we did not listen to her pleas and told her if she wished to go back home she could, but we would not be responsible if her father killed her.
She was frightened. She cried, screamed, and appeared to be in shock. It was not a problem for us, as the drugs we used on girls such situations, would always pacify them.
BGM said she did not want to go back home, as she was scared she would be killed. We kept her in an apartment for about a month. At that time, she sat with Sheikh Ibrahim, Mrs. Hana and Mrs. Lamia. For three hours a day, they lectured her on Islam and told her negative things about Christianity.
When it came time to take her to the Security Division Headquarters, she was mentally prepared to deny her Christian faith and refuse seeing her father. She met with a priest who talked to her for one and a half hours, but all she would say was May God lead you to the right path as he did me. She kept repeating this until the priest told her that he was willing to listen to her if she could convince him about Islam. But she would not say anything more.
BGM married Ali El Sawy and lived with him in misery as he was a sadistic pervert who beat her used her private parts to smother his cigarettes. She was depressed and in tears, which provoked him to torture her more. He had already received his financial reward for her conversion, and I got my share.
After 53 days of marriage, he divorced her. She lost her career, her dignity and her family. She went to work in a Muslim dormitory for girls where she cleaned and cooked in exchange for a place to live. She was there for four months, when she got married and divorced again. She had been homeless for over a year. She eventually returned to Christianity and is now married and lives in Sydney.
Why I don't Emulate Islam's Prophet Anymore
First of all, is it necessary to say something about me? I dont like to remember my bitter past when I was a prestigious Muslim.
Like any typical ignorant Muslim, I was very much Islam-oriented. ... A man who couldnt tolerate any brickbat on his beliefs and learned to be suspicious and prejudicial on critics and criticism. . I suspended all allegations brought by critics with much contempt and disdain. I too believed Islams prophet is a man of exalted morals, I am taught to live like him, to love him., to walk on this earth like he did. All those were acceptable until I learned to doubt and began to look upon things differently.
I learned history from an Islamic perspective, but after the completion, a simple thought provoked me to see, how could this same story be if I rewrite it in a lost pagans perspective?
I think it was the beginning of my enlightenment. I refused to play the part of a victim any more and a lot of courage was needed for the purpose.
I dont exactly remember what wrote doubt in my mind. May be it is Lord Buddha and his teachings or a glance at Jesus and his sufferings.
I learned look unto my own inner self through Buddha. Then quite shockingly I realized my beloved prophet is a misfit. He failed to show me anything other than the dark side of human nature.
Those who trumpet the greatness of Islams prophet have a responsibility to prove it by referring him and his life. Is there any lesson of mercy in Islams prophet that can be compared with what Jesus showed to his executioners even in excruciating pain of crucifixion? Where is the moral of renunciation in him when we have Lord Buddha as a role model of ultimate renunciation?
Muslims are quite eloquent on familial values and keen to find fault with others especially west. I challenge any Muslim to show me any virtue in their prophets familial life that can be blindly followed!
I left this prophet and his teachings, but this is not a praiseworthy act, when in fact I should be ashamed of being a part of this cult at least for quite some period of my life in the past. A repentance and apology is due. So let me try my best. I will be an active member of this forum and contribute what I can to end this stupidity.
I dedicate this testimony to the whole of suffering humanity; I dedicate this to those innocent kids massacred in Beslan. Shame on you Muslim, you still taste their blood sweet.!
Divyan
Islam Was My Nightmare
By Jutta
I was born to a very pious Catholic family in Berlin . Nothing presaged that I would become a Muslim one day. On the contrary, everyone expected me to be a faithful Catholic throughout my life and pass down my faith to my children.
However, I had a very rebellious character and, like many adolescents, abominated everything my parents liked. I set a goal for myself to find a liberating religion different from that of my parents. I was convinced that nothing could be worse than Christianity with its oppressive teachings on women.
The religious atmosphere in my family was getting on my nerves. I was having heated arguments with my parents all the time because of my disagreement with some Christian teachings. They pressed me to be a better Christian; I rebelled and did the opposite.
Soon after my graduation from university, I met a young Muslim man of Turkish origin. We fell in love and soon got married. He was not a religious fanatic - he was absolutely secular, although he did observe some Islamic obligations (he fasted and prayed). He didnt ask me to convert to his religion but he made it clear that he would like his children to be Muslims. I myself took great interest in his religion and customs. I expressed willingness to learn more about Islam.
He brought me some deceptive (as I know understand) books about the glory of Islam and benefits of being a Muslim woman. I read the books and grasped the beauty of this religion.
I was taught by my Christian parents that a woman had to submit to her husband and thus find God. My Muslim husband seemed to be so close to God without any help from priests and I was told that I didnt have to get married and submit to my husband to find peace of mind and faith in God. I looked at my husband and blindly believed all those lies because he was such a nice man who was the living example of a decent Muslim man. When I prayed behind him, I felt I was getting closer to God and Heaven.
Looking back on those days, I see that I was just a stupid kid who drummed into herself that Islam was an ideal religion for all humankind. Perhaps I simply wanted to vex my pious parents whom I considered to be repressive monsters.
After I had converted, I was given some other books that were not as wonderful as previous ones. I learnt that I could be beaten by my husband, if he wasnt satisfied with me. But in my addled mind I tried to find justifications for that commandment. Moreover, I was sure that my husband was incapable of hitting a woman.
I gave birth to our children who were sent to a kind of a kindergarten for Muslim children. I kept on working and didnt want to give up my job. My husband supported me and told me that Islam actually encouraged women to work and have their own lives. I cant understand how I could believe such downright lies.
A few years later he decided to perform Hajj. I was very excited and proud of him because, in fact, I was much more religious than my secular husband.
When he came back, I couldnt recognize him. His behaviour changed dramatically and he was not longer secular. I didnt like wearing a veil and usually put it on only when I went to mosque. Now my husband told me that I had to wear a veil outside all the time. When I opened my mouth to object to such horrible behaviour of his, he hit me on the face and told me to shut up. I was forced to quit my job and become a housewife.
He brought some books from Saudi Arabia which reformed him and saved him from perishing in Hell. I read those books on Islam, real Islam that my husband started to practice. Suddenly the scales fell from my eyes and I realized that I had never been a Muslim. But it was too late, as we were moving to Turkey . He feared that Germany would have an adverse effect on our childrens upbringing.
My life in rural Turkey , with his parents, was a nightmare. I was no longer a liberated Muslimah, a wife of a liberal Muslim; I was a real Muslimah, just a commodity of my husband.
I used to enjoy praying but now I started to detest prayers led by my husband. I no longer felt close to God. When I finished reading a real, not spurious, biography of the prophet, I felt sick. I had been lied to all the time. How could I believe that Muhammad was the prophet of God?
I wondered what had happened to my husband. He told he had had conversations with fellow Muslims from moral countries like Saudi Arabia and they had opened his eyes. I put the blame for my husbands change of behaviour on them but then it occurred to me that he had always been a Muslim, although a secular one. What could I possibly expect from him? I had read dozens articles about women married to Muslims and their hardship. I had been warned by my best friends that I was playing with fire. But my unreasonable hatred for Christianity, love for husband and blatant lies deceived me and made me immune to reason and logic.
After such a rude awakening to the horrors of Islam and its treatment of women, I decided to review the Quran. My first feeling was anger at my blindness to reality. It is apparent from the Quran that men are given total control over women. The Holy book abounds with discriminatory teachings on women, which are quite obvious from the context of the book. Only a blind woman in love like me could overlook them.
When my husband realized that I was no longer a docile wife and a pious Muslimah, he became a real savage. He showed his true colours and exclaimed that German whores could never become modest women.
Even his ultra-conservative parents and friends could not understand what had happened to my husband. Nobody expected him to change so greatly. Occasionally he dropped some vague hints from which followed that he had spoken to sheikhs, introduced to him by his friends, who were well-informed about Islam. They explained to him that the majority of Muslims didnt follow the whole Islam; they just chose peaceful and beautiful parts but forgot about violent ones. You have to love your wife but remember to hit her from time to time or she will forget that she is just a woman made for your enjoyment. You ought to treat the infidels well, if it benefits you, but dont forget that your main obligation is to overthrow their government and impose the Shariah.
I couldn't believe that my humble hubby was now a faithful Wahabbi. I hoped I was asleep but I was not.
I managed to run away and get to the German embassy. My conversation with a female worker was another eye-opener she asked me, When will you learn to listen to the news, stupid hens? She meant that all women knew that dating a Muslim, let alone marring to him was a dangerous affair, yet we didnt pay attention to all the warnings. Why do we keep on dating them?
Luckily, my children are with me, thanks to good lawyers. I am working and enjoying my life. But it could have been different. In that case, I could only blame myself for my stupidity.
The above story proves the point that the so called moderate Muslims can become extremists overnight. As long as one believes that Muhammad was a prophet of God, he is at risk of becoming a terrorist in a heartbeat.
It is a mistake to separate Muslims into "moderate" Muslims and extremist Muslims. They are all Muslims. All of them belong to the terrorist faith of Islam. Their only difference is in the degree of their devotion. At any time, a moderate Muslim can increase his faith and become a monster.
Islam must be denounced and banned.
Ali Sina
Good-bye to Islam!
Never a Dhimmi
After reading so may testimonials about those who have left Islam on this and other websites I decided to describe for others how I became interested in Islam but eventually became disillusioned and left. First I should let you know I am an American and was raised in a secular family. I was raised on scientific rationalism and never had any formal religious background.
When I was a teen I attended a catholic high school (only for one year) and was required to read the New Testament. It was at this point that I became fascinated with religion and spirituality. For me, coming from an agnostic background where religion was generally ignored, the New Testament was an inspiration and deeply moving. I never bought into the simplistic aspects of Christianity, the creation of the world in seven days, Adam and Eve, etc. but was drawn by the message of love, ethics and a sense of purpose for this worldly existence. Interest in Christianity and religion in general led me to investigate other religions and spiritual paths: Buddhism, Hinduism, Zen, Taoism, Zoroastrianism, Native American spirituality, and ancient Greek and Roman philosophy. I became a voracious reader of ancient religious and spiritual scriptures of various different cultures. Eventually I came across Islamic mysticism (Sufism). I read all the books I could find on the topic and was particularly impressed with the works of Idries Shah
Sufism seemed to me to be the most sensible and relevant form of spirituality for modern society. It appealed to my disdain of organized religion and meaningless rituals, it stressed one should be in the world but not of the world and the ultimate goal is not a location or reward, i.e. Heaven but a reality: spiritual knowledge and enlightenment. Sufism did not appear to be at odds with modern science and did not demand that one reject sensible theories such as evolution and physics. Sufism in fact, was presented as a science itself (tasawwuf). Sufism was described as the inner meaning of Islam, the interior kernel, which was protected by an exterior shell, composed of the formal laws and doctrine of Islam. Islamic poetry, particularly Persian, was shown to be a vehicle in which Sufi mystics hid spiritual knowledge in the worldly praise of love and pleasure. The Quran was alleged to contain seven layers of understanding, each one more sublime, which would become apparent as one progressed in spiritual understanding. For me Sufism legitimized Islam.
The first time I read the Quran in translation I was disappointed, as it seemed to lack the inspirational message of other religious scriptures. I contented myself with the fact that I would probably need to read it in the original Arabic to obtain its spiritual message. I undertook the daunting task of learning classical Arabic. I studied Arabic for four years and Ill admit I never became fluent in speaking the language but I was able to read it (with some difficulty and the constant need of a dictionary!).
Shortly before the first Gulf war I was offered a job in Saudi Arabia. I had recently graduated from college and felt this would be an excellent opportunity to really learn Arabic fluently. I was told it would be best if I became a Muslim to accept the position since the family that owned the company lived in Mecca and if I didnt become a Muslim I would have to find a place to live in Jeddah. To me it seemed a mere formality so I said I would become Muslim. Fortunately, as it would turn out, I was unable to take this job because of the war.
Though I didnt get the chance to work in Saudi Arabia, I became increasingly interested in traditional Islam and decided to investigate a local mosque close to where I lived. I went there several months to study the Quran in Arabic and it was here that I first came across aspects of Islam, which really troubled me. The members of the Mosque seemed genuinely delighted that an American would be interested in Islam and were very welcoming but they were less than enthusiastic about American culture. My interest was to learn more about the Quran but instead I ended up listening to sermons, which seemed to be primarily concerned with politics and condemnation of perceived Western values. Though most of the Moslems at this mosque were not Arabs they seemed to be obsessed with the Israeli-Palestinian issue and yet I never heard them mention anything about injustices done to Moslems by other fellow Muslims such as the massacre of the Kurds in Iraq, civil war in Afghanistan or the slaughter of thousands of Algerians by extremists. It was also there that I first heard such alarming ideas as the consequences for apostasy and various other enlightened aspects of the sharia. These ideas seemed rather cult like. I found no spirituality in the company of traditional Moslems. Eventually I decided to leave and never returned.
I still did not make the connection that this was what Islam was really all about because I rationalized that the inner message of Islam was about spiritual knowledge and these people were obsessed with the outward forms of religion, not its true message. I began to read the Hadith and the biography of the Prophet (Sirat-un-Nabi) to gain a better understanding of Islams message and to weigh it against the values I understood from the perspective of Sufism. It was at this point that I began to have my doubts about the spirituality of the Prophet Muhammad. The commandments of the Quran and Hadith seemed to advocate a brutal, inflexible ethics lacking in any redeeming values. The biography of Muhammad was filled with examples of violence and questionable deeds for one who was supposedly guided by a God of love and peace. The biography put into context many of the Suras of the Quran and left the impression of a revelation whose purpose was to explain and justify Muhammads worldly deeds. The requirements for everyday conduct seemed to be more of a burden than a guide for a meaningful life. What is the true spiritual meaning of wiping the top of your feet before you pray? Or the prohibition of wearing silk! Will your prayer from the heart not be accepted because you didnt perform a proper Wudu? Why is Islam against adoption? Is it a religious duty to hate and kill Jews and unbelievers? And always, the primitive threat of Hell! Even the reward for a righteous life seemed to lack any spiritual grace and refinement. Essentially an eternal cosmic orgy!
I didnt reject Islam outright; rather, I slowly drifted away from it as the realities became more and more unsavory. Increasingly I distanced myself from the rigid views and doctrines espoused by Islam and tried to associate with the more benign views of the religion, which I felt was its true meaning. I clung to ideas such as the true jihad in Islam is against ones lower nature, and there is no compunction in religion, which allowed me to rationalize the notion that most Muslims in the world were simply not following the real Islam. In fact it was I who was not following it!
I still believed that there were decent moderate Moslems although I was always surprised that they were nowhere to be found or heard from after any of the increasingly common Islamic atrocities were committed around the world. Although most Moslems in the US stress that the actions of a few extremists do not define the religion, I could see that almost the entire Islamic world took great delight in the WTC tragedy. If there was ever a time for the real Islam to show itself and denounce the perversion of its true teachings it was after this event. Instead Muslims seemed to rationalize that it was justified because of all the terrible things America is doing to the Muslim world (probably much worse than what the Mongols did!) or they concocted fanciful conspiracy theories about how the Israelis carried out the attacks to discredit Islam. I was stunned and appalled at the primitive stupidity and barbarity of the Islamic worlds reaction to this outrage. Only Iranian people seemed to show any sympathy to the victims and Im sure it was mainly those who are fed up with Islam. I found myself making excuses to others that this was not what Islam really teaches but it began to sound less and less convincing. I became aware that my life was based on contradictions. On the one hand my sense of right and wrong were based on my upbringing and the society that had raised me, yet the Islamic faith that I had embraced appeared to be the antithesis of these values. After 9/11 I realized that I just couldnt make excuses for the outrages being committed in the name of Islam. The religion itself is fatally flawed. How could one have any affiliation whatsoever with such a doctrine?
For years now the books were gathering dust in the garage, as I have lost all outward affiliation and interest in Islam. I guess I just became a bad Muslim. The final break for me was the sight of slaughtered school children in the recent tragedy in Beslan, Russia carried out by Islamic freedom fighters. I grabbed my Yusuf Ali Quran, along with several other books about Fiqh, prayer, Muhammads life, etc., took them out back and shot them full of holes. I then tossed the tattered remnants into the barbeque and watched them burn to ashes. I felt a great sense of freedom and a final purge from this barbaric creed as the pages and words twisted and disappeared in the flames!
There may be a spiritual reality in Sufism but if there is it was not derived from Islam or Muhammad. Islam teaches that the good that comes to you is from God and the bad is from yourself (I wonder what the children of Beslan did to earn their punishment?) I think it would be more appropriate to say that any good in the Islamic world comes from somewhere else and the bad is all from Islam!
I would conclude by saying that Im very fortunate to live in a country, which allows people the freedom to believe or not believe in any religion they choose. I have the utmost respect for those who live in the tyranny of Islamic countries and decide to think for themselves and live by their conscience, often with the consequences of great personal hardships and danger to their lives. To all such people everywhere I look forward to the day when you can live your lives in freedom and peace.
Best Regards...
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