Dear Dad

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed
was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope
propped up prominently on the pillow.

It was addressed, "Dad" With the worst premonition, he opened the
envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:

Dear Dad,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to
elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and
you.

I've been finding real passion with Joan and she is so nice. I knew
you would not approve of her because of all her piercing, tattoos, her
tight Motorcycle clothes and because she is so much older than I am.
But it's not only the passion, Dad , she's pregnant. Joan said that
we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the Woods and has a stack of
firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more
children.

Joan has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really
hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for us and trading it with other people in
the commune for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want.

In the meantime , we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS
so Joan can get better; she sure deserves it!!

Don't worry Dad, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of
myself. Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your
grandchildren.

Your son,

Chad

P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I
just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the
school report card that's in my desk drawer.

I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home.