A lawyer died and made the trip up to the pearly gates. Saint Peter looked him up in the book, and with a puzzled look on his face asked, How old were you when you died?

The attorney replied, 35 years old.

Well, you can't be the right man, he's supposed to live to the ripe old age of 105, St Peter said.

Well, averred the attorney, that is my name and I was 35 years old when I passed away.

Then St. Peter exclaimed, I see the error! We calculated your age based on the hours you billed your clients.

One I haven't heard before! This just makes my day! I absolutely LOVE attorney jokes. Thought I'd heard them all. Thanks!
-Phil C.
P.S. Yes, I am one, and no, this comment is not sarcastic, I really do like lawyer jokes.

I know one lawyer dude who visited here didn't care for them.

Now with the web it's really hard to find a good joke since most have made the e-mail rounds many, many times.

But occasionally a gem surfaces.

Glad you like it.

Davi

nt

You have seen and done everything, have been everywhere and the shrapnel to prove it.

It's good to have a friend here at my shoulder with a little time to spend, til I find love again -F. C. Collins W. C. Bickhardt

What's wrong with this picture: Mercedes 680S going over a cliff with 5 lawyers in it? The Mercedes 680S can actually hold 6 lawyers!

There is no such thing as an unbuildable kit, just some kits one may consider not worth building.

...3/4 would drown.

You can imagine how many lawsuits the other 1/4 would then file.

and the Bill of Rights, whilst at the same time in history the medical community applied leeches to those suffering from fever, and boiled witches alive.

What do you call 100 lawyers swimming east through Sydney Heads with a colleague under each arm?

A good start.

Why don't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy

Two mangled bodies lying in the middle of the road; which one is the lawyer?

The one without the skid marks leading up to it.

What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish?

One's a scum-sucking, slime-grovelling bottom dweller, the other's a fish.

In forty years of practice, I've heard most of them ...

A man can't have too many flying boats ...

nm