hiding in here :( may ttt su ref ttt

just hiding in here for a while (maybe safer in here to write what I want/need to?)

I don't know what it's like anymore to feel the sun.
I don't know what it's like anymore to have fun.
I don't know what I no longer don't know.
All the things I once cared for I have let go.
I don't even know if I ever really cared in the first place.
I don't know if I am just putting my time to waste.
I don't know what the truth is.
I don't know what a lie is.
I don't know what a blue sky is.
I don't know how to survive this p*in.
I don't know how not to feel the rain.
I don't know how to break this feeling, the feeling of not knowing.
in every part of my b*dy and mind the d*mage is showing.
I don't know what to do or to feel or to say
I don't know that hope will ever come my way.
I don't know why my world has suddenly turned to grey.
I don't know if I want to face another lonely day.
I don't know what to think.
I don't know why my mind has begun to sink.
I don't know how to hold my mind together.
I don't know that it will ever get any better.
I don't know what lies in wait behind or ahead.
not usre I wouldn't be better off d*ad
I don't know anything anymore,
except that d*ath keeps knocking on my door.