I just can't cope today TTT

Thats all.
It doesn't feel like anything can help.
Noiae I can't handle it, I just want to beg for silence.
Silence, I just want to plead for noise.

I don't know what I need to give me what I want:-
peace and hope,
To feel ok with me and to no longer hate, loathe and despise what I've been made and born into.
To live or to d*e.
To no longer hate the world.

My heart is bl**ding pain and despair.
My hopelessness has just dropped to the next level and my words are lost.
Gone.

survivor