too ash*med to post in main forums (sorry)
not one for admitting how b*d things are and not one for being able to ask or reach out for help/support
but feeling really m*nt*lly unwell
numb for the most part then get hit by waves of overwhelming su thoughts and feelings and really struggling to distract myself and work my way through them, hoping they don't get the better of me
running out of energy and will to keep f*ghting them all the time, it's constant and it's too much,
Life - if that's what you can call it - has become unbearable. My world is so small and ever decreasing, too many fb's, too many triggers around, they are just everywhere, can't even watch television, can't go out the front door, just stuck here in these four walls day in and day out. This is not a life, this is not living, this is barely even existing, worst part is I am failing my k*ds, they're lives are as limited as mine, haven't even managed taking them to school this week. Things are getting worse all the time and I have no idea how to stop or change things. The k*ds' world is as cr*p as mine. I feel like a complete failure, more so with them than anything because they are what matters and who come first not me, but I've failed them so much, completely ash*med
I don't know what to do about it
I don't know who to turn to
I don't know who/if there's any help/support for me
Don't know if I could ask for it even if there was
Maybe this is just how its meant to be...
maybe b*d things just happen to b*d people...
this is probably nothing less than I deserve
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