nothing - may t

i have got to escape this world, the one in my head and the one outside. 3 weeks break and then it all starts again and i know i can't do it. going to let me head go where it wants instead of where i keep it. might be good or might be bad, won't know til it happens. can't go on 'working towards change' any more - judging what i eat, think, do and feel. want to 'be', not 'think'. if it means living in unreal worl then so be it. can't be worse than the world in my head.