H just called me and he got a positive hit on his STD test for type 2 herpes. He has to go back in and retest. (What I understand is the type 1 is a mouth cold sore and type 2 is the NASTY one!)
I tested 3 weeks ago and was negative. I am freaking out now!
Maybe the test is wrong for him, but after I have discovered this past week of what a fluzzy Miss OW is and was.... I am not shocked. There were men left and right!!!!
I keep seeing my H's face on a damn Valtrex commercial!
Can this get worse????
I have called my Doc and I am going back in on Friday to test again - she said she would test me whenever I wanted to. She understands. THANK GOODNESS!
Anyone have to deal with a spouse that contracted an STD from their A?
OH crap honey. I am sooooo sorry to hear that. Talk about adding insult to injury or maybe injury to insult in this case. I havent heard anything back on my husbands std test from what he said no news is good news, but i just wanted to say how sorry i am for you. And I hope all continues to be well for your health. My husband told me the other night that if i cant believe him that he was drugged the night of the "incident" then he wants a d. He says he cant stand living with me the way ive been. Im making him miserable. HA Im making HIM miserable. I dont know. He keeps asking me what i want him to say. I tell him i want the truth. He said ive told you the truth and you wont accept it. He asked me if i was waiting for him to slip up. I told him yes. He said that wasnt gonna happen and that he would give me the same story until the day he dies. No matter what. Sorry just had to vent a little this post isnt about me sorry honey. I hope for the best case scenario for you and your h.
I guess I can be thankful that he told me the truth about the test. I suppose he could have never told me. I mean heck... he never told me for 16 months he was having an A.
I am sorry about your H. It is fog. Hope he comes out of it soon.
Mine is working his way out of it, but the effects of his actions are awful for both of us.
He is pissed to say the least. Pissed at OW. I understand that, but I had to say to him... YOU SLEPT WITH HER! I am trying not to add insult to injury or in his case STD - but it is hard to not want to say... YOU GOT WHAT YOU DESERVED! Urrrr!
I can understand his being angry but you said a mouth full. He brought this on himself, and now both of you will have to deal with the results for the rest of your lives. Having to be carefull not to spread to you. Thats the unfair part. No matter what happens to them its happening to us too. Take care
I am so sorry to hear about the STD. I don't understand why so many WS think that STDs wont happen to him. Hopefully that is the only STD you guys have to deal with. At least there is medication that can help with it. Hopefully with that, H has learned a huge lesson and won't ever stray again. My H said he wore a condom, but even then, a condom does not guarantee anything! I have decided that for the rest of my life, I will have STDs testing along with my yearly pap. I'm sure my doctor will understand since he knows what has happened. My prayers are with you.
((((hugs)))
Jetta
I, too, will have yearly tests....my H says he didn't actually have "intercourse", but he did everything else but....I made him have tests, which came back negative, but I make HIM test frequently, also....
I'm so sorry to hear you are going through this.....a WS just doesn't think it will happen to them...just like a teenager doesn't think it will happen to them....sigh...
Good news for me - I came back negative a second time. Woo-Hoo! (Couldnt wait till Friday - went yesterday.)
H goes today at 3:30 and has his first C appt in 10 mins. BIG day!
He asked me to write a date to date summary of things that have happend. Ex: Moved to my state 12/04, I found text messages 3/05.. and so on. Just brief points about the dates. He wanted to give this to his C today. Not sure if it was a good or bad idea, but at least she will see the history of his behavior. I even inlcuded me in the summary... dates where I could no longer trust, where I felt our intimacy was dieing and so on.
Today is just a consulation appt with her - who knows, maybe she wont take him.
Now my big thoughts are on if he comes back positive again on his herpes test... then what? I know he was clean when he retired from military in 12/04 as I have those medical records. I have also heard rumors that OW has the disease. I have no doubt if he has it, he got it from OW. Where does this leave me? Do I take the risk and still try to work on our M and perhaps in the long run I get infected? What if I do that... I get infected at some point and he cheats again.... then where am I? Then I am not only damaged emotionally, but physically also.
He is worried that if he comes back positive, my decision will be to leave. Can anyone blame me? Could he blame me? Hell I am 35 years young and dont want to live with that for the rest of my life.
It just all tears at my heart!
This message has been edited by CoralV on Aug 9, 2006 3:41 PM
Hooray for your good news, and I am hoping for the best for your H. I wanted to tell you that my Dday #2 was 9/26/04 althought my H's A ended about 1 1/2 years before then. This summer I found out that I have genital herpes when I had a bad outbreak. We figured out that my H had it when we got married in 1984, and I caught it from him sometime after we married, but because neither of us had had a major outbreak before this summer, we never even knew we had it!
For what it's worth and LOTS of friendly fairy hugs,
I know you are hurting, confused, and sad. No one wants herpes, but about 60% of all adult americans have it, whether they know it or not.
Please go check out this excellent herpes website. One of the mods gave me the address and strongly recommended it when I posted that I was diagnosed with herpes.
((((Coral)))))
I am sorry you are experiencing the ravaging effects that a WS never considers as they plunge forward with their A. I think this is the worst trigger of all
Peace is not just the absence of war; it's an exercise in compassion. -Dalai Lama
Coming to you from JJ
I am so very sorry that you have to deal with this. Making the decision to stay or go is never easy, but even worse when you know it may make you less desirable if you should ever become single again.
I have herpes contracted by my H's affair. I was one of the "lucky" ones I guess. I only (that sounds weird) contracted Type 1 herpes but on my genitals. Herpes site of preference is usually type 1 lips and type 2 genitals but it doesn't have to be that way.
When I first found out I was a total mess. I was so very angry. It was bad enough he had the audacity to have an affair and let me find him in bed with her in my house........but then to find out that he had destroyed any hope of me ever having a normal sex life again...without my knowledge - well it was too much for this brain to take.
I know how you must feel. If you should need anybody to talk to about this, please feel free to contact me at khks@shaw.ca. I was the one that recommended the website to FF. That website was a life saver for me and straightened up so many myths and feelings of disgust I felt with myself for having this disease. There is a woman there named AJ that is a total godsend. She works in a health clinic and sees STD's on a daily basis. She also has herpes as well.
The thing I learned after some time on that website........I wasn't this sexual deviant that nobody would ever want again........if somebody wanted to run away based on that kind of news then they weren't really into me or committed to a relationship anyway. They just wanted no committment, no strings sex. A person who gets to know another and loves them for who they are will not run away regardless of the herpes. So if you find yourself single, don't be afraid.
If you want to stay married, there are many ways to minimize the risk to you so that you don't contract the disease. Go to the website and ask questions.......they will be answered.
Goodluck to you and I am so glad for you that you are negative!!
I want to say thank you for your wisdom. I read this the day you wrote it - I just have been occupied with other things, but did want to thank you for the info and websites.
Coral
Current Topic - Not a good Monday..... STD Results....
I think this is the worst trigger of all 